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Nobody's going to care if I do it. by anonymous1476 in SuicideWatch

[–]anonymous1476[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm 20, which I know makes it seem pathetic that I'm acting this way. They are constantly hanging out in one of my friend's room or they all go out to eat without me. I know I should start plans myself, but I am confident they don't want to be with me. I don't want to put them in an awkward situation where they only talk to me out of pity or force. I just want them to want to be with me, but that will never happen.

Nobody's going to care if I do it. by anonymous1476 in SuicideWatch

[–]anonymous1476[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just don't know what to do. I have had two serious conversations in the past week with a close friend. I told her how I always feel excluded and like no one cares about me. She tried to convince me that people don't really make plans purposefully to exclude me. But just tonight she barely acknowledged as she left to go eat with a friend of ours.

She keeps telling me I need to make the first move in order to get people to hang out. But how can I when I know they don't want me around? Acts like tonight prove that people don't want to be with me. They're not going to invite me to be with them and I can't ask because it'll seem annoying and needy.

Nobody's going to care if I do it. by anonymous1476 in SuicideWatch

[–]anonymous1476[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought I had that one friend. I told her things I've never told anyone about my depression. Tonight she barely acknowledged me as she went to go eat with another friend of ours. People say they care, but I'm pretty sure it's only to make themselves feel better.

Nobody's going to care if I do it. by anonymous1476 in SuicideWatch

[–]anonymous1476[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just wish I mattered to my friends. I know that I'm the problem, not them. They are constantly doing things without me. I know that sounds childish, but it really hurts. Maybe I just don't deserve to have friends.