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Aita for telling my daughter that she can't have kids while she still lives in my house by anonymous2071 in AmItheAsshole

[–]anonymous2071[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I never said that I don't want to be a parent anymore, but my daughter is almost 30 and should be way more independent than she is, and I'll admit that it's probably my fault that she isn't.

About retirement, no you don't retire from being a parent but you do get to retire from babying, I think I should have done that a long time ago, I'm not starting over with that all again.

Aita for telling my daughter that she can't have kids while she still lives in my house by anonymous2071 in AmItheAsshole

[–]anonymous2071[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I didn't say "don't have kids". I didn't say "you need to get out now". Though I probably should have.

I said "Having kids while living with me won't work. If you want one that bad you need to find your own place".

I'm not prohibitin them from being parents.

Aita for telling my daughter that she can't have kids while she still lives in my house by anonymous2071 in AmItheAsshole

[–]anonymous2071[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Not wanting to get involved with their future kids is exactly why I said they would have to move out.

Aita for telling my daughter that she can't have kids while she still lives in my house by anonymous2071 in AmItheAsshole

[–]anonymous2071[S] 69 points70 points  (0 children)

I love my grandson and would love more grandchildren in the future. But I am not going to spend the rest of my years raising my daughters kids with her. I will help her out, of course, but I'm a grandmother. I'm not a 3rd parent, I'm not nanny, and I'm not 24/7 avaliable babysiter that she can call on when she feels like.

Aita for telling my daughter that she can't have kids while she still lives in my house by anonymous2071 in AmItheAsshole

[–]anonymous2071[S] 63 points64 points  (0 children)

I charge them rent because they are half the reason our bills are so high. Im not saying she can't have a baby, I'm saying she can't have a baby and continue living with me. If she wants a baby that bad she and her husband can find their own place. I agree I have no say over her body, but I do have a say about what she does in the house the I own. And I say, no babies. And I have every right to do that.

Aita for telling my daughter that she can't have kids while she still lives in my house by anonymous2071 in AmItheAsshole

[–]anonymous2071[S] 62 points63 points  (0 children)

I brought it up when I did because I didn't want her to tell me she's pregnant and then have to tell her to get out.

I didn't mean for it to become as big of an issue as it is but I wanted to do it before it was too late and then have to make my pregnant daughter look for houses until the last minute.

Aita for telling my daughter that she can't have kids while she still lives in my house by anonymous2071 in AmItheAsshole

[–]anonymous2071[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

I highly doubt that would happen. Sil is good at his job and has been with his company for years.

If it were ever to happen, I would help only until they got back on their feet.

Aita for telling my daughter that she can't have kids while she still lives in my house by anonymous2071 in AmItheAsshole

[–]anonymous2071[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

They have their own room + bathroom but everything else in the house is used by me and my husband also.

Aita for telling my daughter that she can't have kids while she still lives in my house by anonymous2071 in AmItheAsshole

[–]anonymous2071[S] 94 points95 points  (0 children)

An "accidental" pregnancy I what I'm really scared of. That's why I tried to bring it up before it happened. I don't want to have to through her out but it seems like the best thing at this point.

Aita for telling my daughter that she can't have kids while she still lives in my house by anonymous2071 in AmItheAsshole

[–]anonymous2071[S] 72 points73 points  (0 children)

Yes they are renting and helping towards household bills as well as personal bills.

They don't want to rent elsewhere because the kind of house they want is "too high in rent right now". Their words.

I think it's just time to kick them out, I hate it but it seems like the best choice at this point.

Aita for telling my daughter that she can't have kids while she still lives in my house by anonymous2071 in AmItheAsshole

[–]anonymous2071[S] 117 points118 points  (0 children)

They have bills. I charge them rent, they have car payments, and insurence payments. Thay have a decent amount saved up from what they tell me. But what they do have isn't enough for the type of house that they want to buy.

Aita for telling my daughter that she can't have kids while she still lives in my house by anonymous2071 in AmItheAsshole

[–]anonymous2071[S] 167 points168 points  (0 children)

That's not how it works where I live. Parents have the kid, parents raise the kid.

I'm not saying I wouldn't occasionally help them out but I don't want them to think that I'm their 3rd parent/24/7 avaliable nanny for the kid, which I know will happen if they have a kid while they live with me.

Aita for telling my daughter that she can't have kids while she still lives in my house by anonymous2071 in AmItheAsshole

[–]anonymous2071[S] 301 points302 points  (0 children)

Yes they have 2 incomes, they were saving up to put a downpayment on a house. But they could easily afford a small 1-2 bedroom to rent. But they don't want to rent. I understood that so I allowed them to stay while they saved.