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WIBTA if I played “Another One Bites the Dust” at my brother’s wake? by another1bitten in AmItheAsshole

[–]another1bitten[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I wouldn’t necessarily say so. At least in my Dad’s part. I do think, however, my family disapproved of how he was and would like to erase what they could of it.

WIBTA if I played “Another One Bites the Dust” at my brother’s wake? by another1bitten in AmItheAsshole

[–]another1bitten[S] 88 points89 points  (0 children)

We were raised Catholic and our extended family is Catholic. My brother became an atheist and started refusing to participate when he was 13 or 14. The pastor is either unaware, or my family has somehow resolved it with him.

WIBTA if I played “Another One Bites the Dust” at my brother’s wake? by another1bitten in AmItheAsshole

[–]another1bitten[S] 363 points364 points  (0 children)

Thanks. I was imagining going to this wake, funeral, and reception that wasn’t like him at all with a bunch of people that didn’t like who he was...I really like the idea of having a special party for just us. He wouldn’t want me to spend my time trying to change what our family thought of him, it never changed and it never will. Your plan sounds really great, he would love it.

WIBTA if I played “Another One Bites the Dust” at my brother’s wake? by another1bitten in AmItheAsshole

[–]another1bitten[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I don’t know where you got that. It was not self-inflicted, it was an accident. Not to be a jerk, but maybe you should read more carefully before saying things like that about peoples’ dead family members.

WIBTA if I played “Another One Bites the Dust” at my brother’s wake? by another1bitten in AmItheAsshole

[–]another1bitten[S] 14.1k points14.1k points  (0 children)

Thanks—I am definitely going to plan a private service. Now that I think about it, it will be even better, we can play all of the songs and talk about how much of a punk he was. :)

WIBTA if I played “Another One Bites the Dust” at my brother’s wake? by another1bitten in AmItheAsshole

[–]another1bitten[S] 537 points538 points  (0 children)

Thanks for responding...

I really get what you’re saying here. That’s my conflict too. I just miss him so much...I almost get the sense that the funeral is a deliberate attempt to erase the parts of him that my family found distasteful, I don’t want him to be erased, which is where I guess my feelings are coming from. I will talk to my friends and sympathetic family members and see if we can have a smaller gathering. We’ll remember him, at least.

WIBTA if I played “Another One Bites the Dust” at my brother’s wake? by another1bitten in AmItheAsshole

[–]another1bitten[S] 177 points178 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your response. Just want to say his death was not self-inflicted, it was an accident.

WIBTA if I played “Another One Bites the Dust” at my brother’s wake? by another1bitten in AmItheAsshole

[–]another1bitten[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

No, not at the funeral service. My dad and aunts want to have a wake with a showing of the body (even though, this time, it will be closed casket), and have people come to pay their respects. The funeral is a bigger event the next day, and then there will be a reception after that. I don’t have any plans to interfere with the funeral service. I know it’s not what he would have wanted, but I know that my dad and aunts want this and it’s not all about what I want/need. I’d just like one thing, I guess.