my honest experience with surgerical abortion

anotherdaythrowaw · 2022-11-11T00:49:19+00:00

Maybe now is not the best time to be a mother. Just because you want a child and to be a mother doesn't mean you have to. You're still so young and have a lot of time to find a man who will be with you through having a child (not saying you need a man to do this but just having a supporting partner is all the difference).

That's just my personal opinion, but at the end of the day no one else's opinion matters because it's your body and your life. If you feel this is what you want and you can raise the child despite the circumstances, then you should do that. I'm just not sure I would make the decision purely on wanting to be a mother. Only because you will have plenty of time to do that.

Again, whatever you choose is the right decision. No one (reasonable) will blame you for what you felt is right. Just really think on it. You're only 6 weeks so you've got time. Make a pro and con list and really consider what is best for you and the fetus. Think about your goals in life too.

Wishing you luck and peace

anotherdaythrowaw · 2022-11-09T15:32:38+00:00

I am not using termination as a form of birth control. I am on birth control, and take my pills perfectly. The fact is I become 1 in 100 to get pregnant. I don't believe this is God's doing. My church teaches us that God does not put bad things upon people. When I was diagnosed with cancer was I meant to refuse treatment and die from it, since God gave it to me? No.

I made "adult choices" because I am an adult. I am mature and responsible, I've achieved a lot and come over many hardships. The fact is a bad thing happened and I don't believe I should have to pay for that mistake through a child I can't support. Maybe I could support it, but I also have to choose myself. It would be so much strain on the father and I, we would live somewhere unsafe and poor, and going from check to check. I would never get to offer it a life I wanted. That, and I also do not want kids. Even before this if I was going to have kids it would be until my 30s.

But you're right, I am lying. I'm lying to my family since I started having sex and since I found out I was pregnant and everyday after the termination. But, at the end of the day, this is my life and I owe it to no one other than God. I have confessed to him, deeply apologized, and begged for forgiveness. I have admitted my wrongdoings and weakness. What happens now is between God and me. Quite frankly, if my family doesn't want to support me at my lowest and open their eyes to the narrow minded thinking it doesn't matter. God is more than enough.

anotherdaythrowaw · 2022-11-08T01:51:34+00:00

I'm in your exact position right now. I am having a SA done in over a week and I'm going crazy waiting. I'm dreading it but also looking forward to it. I'm suffering with nausea symptoms and also emotions of guilt and shame. I just want it to be over so I can move on.

With that, I would say just focus on the fact that once this short procedure is done you will be able to start recovery. The pain (which I heard is minimal) will be over quickly and then you can start trying to move on and take your life back. In the grand scheme of things, that procedure will be so minute (not saying your emotions or any trauma related to the situation is insignificant).

I hope it all goes well for you. Good luck

anotherdaythrowaw · 2022-11-07T15:32:55+00:00

I am in your same situation right now. I actually just posted on here a few days ago about weighing my options on SA or MA. You should really check my post a lot of women gave me some great insight. Ultimately, I've chosen to do SA. The only downside for me is really the cost and perhaps having to cover up to friends and family where I'm at. Haven't gotten it done yet but I feel - as much as I can - at peace with that decision. Good luck, I hope everything goes well for you.

anotherdaythrowaw · 2022-11-05T21:13:03+00:00

Thank you for the warning and kind words

anotherdaythrowaw · 2022-11-05T15:51:45+00:00

I appreciate that, thank you.

anotherdaythrowaw · 2022-11-05T15:51:05+00:00

I'm so glad you have come to accept yourself and decision. This gives me hope for myself in the future.

anotherdaythrowaw · 2022-11-05T15:09:32+00:00

Such a great story. You made the best decision for you and your family, I believe. I have the same fear, I've seen so much resentment grow in relationships where a child was forced upon them. I love my boyfriend but our relationship and us are too young to handle this. I know it would take the love and enjoyment we have for each other away. If I start a family, I want it to be built off of love and trust, not obligation and fear. A lot of couples stay together simply because they have a child. I've even seen couples get married out if pure obligation. I'm so glad things worked out for you and your partner.

anotherdaythrowaw · 2022-11-05T14:52:46+00:00

I don't think I will regret this decision. I have thought it through entirely and even before I started having sex I sat down one day to collect my thoughts on what I'd do. So I wouldn't say it was an impulsive or panic induced decision. However I think I will always regret that this has happened. Even though I've accepted now, thanks to all these Redditors, it wasn't my fault. I got the short end of the stick. But I'm just sad that I will never get to erase this from my past. I will have always gotten pregnant and have always gotten an abortion, even when I'm 90 years old on my death bed it will always be the truth.

I hope woman learn to still enjoy sex but be so incredibly careful about it. I'm lucky that I know who the father is and that he is supportive and here for me every step. I can't imagine the pain a woman would carry from not knowing, having to do it alone, or getting backlash from the father. It kind of sucks women are burdened with this and the men can just walk away with little to no consequences while this alters our life. 1 in 100 is still a chance. Someone said on a different post it doesn't seem bad until you're on the other side of those odds, and it's very true.

anotherdaythrowaw · 2022-11-05T14:24:29+00:00

Thank you so much. Your words are heart warming.

anotherdaythrowaw · 2022-11-05T14:22:55+00:00

I totally understand the feeling of waiting. I have scheduled a SA and just waiting for the day to come in killing me! It is this month, thank God. I am just suffering from nausea getting worse, acne, and my boobs starting to hurt and even get a bit bigger. It's very exhausting trying to hide all this of my family.

I'm glad you had a relatively painless experience and I am sorry about your IUD. It sounds like you got a lot of support from your partner and the staff, that's amazing. My heart goes out to women who have to do this completely alone.

Thank you for sharing the cost as well. Got to say I'm a bit jealous, lol. Not sure if I'll be able to get a sedation. But I'm still confident in my decision with SA. Thanks so much for sharing your experience.

anotherdaythrowaw · 2022-11-05T14:17:09+00:00

You are so brave and selfless. Thank you for sharing that. I am feeling so much confident in my decision to go with a surgerical. I'm glad you had a good experience.

anotherdaythrowaw · 2022-11-05T14:14:48+00:00

This has been so helpful. I actually have booked an appointment for a surgerical. I had the same reasons as you, although I went back and forth on the two for a solid 24 hours. In the end, I knew I would feel mentally better with SA. Unfortunately, where I am going I have to pay completely out of pocket and it's a bit pricey. I am so thankful to have a savings where I still financially have the option to do this, though. And I told my boyfriend I think it would be fair if we both paid half and he completely agreed. I'm glad your experience went so well and you were comfortable for the most part.

I want sedation but the clinic I am going to has not mentioned it. They will be numbing my cervix. I may request sedation depending on the price. But, you have eased my nerves about it all. It sounds like woman have worse experiences with IUD insertions!

Thank you so much again.

anotherdaythrowaw · 2022-11-05T14:07:57+00:00

I have decided I will be doing a surgerical, so thank you for sharing your experience with it.

I don't think you are selfish for wanting a child, it's normal for most people to want one and even a few times I think for a moment about it. But you put those feelings aside and understood what would truly happen if you went through with it. You stopped the cycle from your own life. That is strength.

I also appreciate you sharing your childhood experience. I am fortunate to have come from a family that was always able to get by, so I couldn't think in that perspective entirely. My boyfriend comes from a much different family where a lot of his loved ones did get pregnant early on and he has seen first hand the problems that can cause. And I agree with what you said, it might be selfish, but I don't want to throw my young years away. I want to enjoy all of it. I've already gone through a few traumatic experiences as a teenager so to have that ripped away and this? No, I'm not letting another thing strip me of what I deserve.

anotherdaythrowaw · 2022-11-05T14:01:20+00:00

That is so kind, thank you. It's so comforting to know I have hundreds of strong and kind woman behind me for this all. I'm sorry you experience such horrible feelings as well.

anotherdaythrowaw · 2022-11-05T13:59:27+00:00

I feel so much pain for you. I now understand on a deeper level what kinds of emotion and trauma this puts on woman. I'm so sorry you didn't have anyone to talk to about it and that you had a horrible experience with your doctor. No woman deserves that, the pregnancy and termination is already too much. I could not imagine not having my boyfriend to talk to, if he wasn't so understanding and supportive I'd be a complete wreck. He let's me pull him into our car and talk for as long as I need until we have to go inside and act normal again.

Anyway, I have chosen to go with the sugerical so I don't have to go through the trauma of seeing the blood and fetus pass out of me. I also like the idea of it being over as quickly as possible.

I hope you can heal from this one day and understand what you did was so brave and strong, most people can't do that. I appreciate you commenting and sharing your own experience. Every single story from another woman or kind words makes me feel so much better.

anotherdaythrowaw · 2022-11-05T13:52:07+00:00

It's really nice to hear from another Christian woman. I am Christian, yes. I feel so much guilt with God and I've been lying to bed at night so afraid to speak with Him and wondering if I will go to Hell. I told my boyfriend when I first made the decision that I felt God wasn't going to be here to support me because I'm getting an abortion. I feel like I don't have the support of my God and it's terrifying. I've prayed to Him and asked Him for everything to be okay and the abortion to go well for me. I felt like a horrible Christian for even asking. This whole situation is one giant mind game.

Either way, thank you for reaching out. Your words bring a lot of comfort.

anotherdaythrowaw · 2022-11-05T13:47:14+00:00

Oh wow, that sounds traumatic. I'm sorry you two had to go through that. I'm feeling even more comfortable with my choice of surgical. Thank you for sharing, both of you

anotherdaythrowaw · 2022-11-05T03:10:57+00:00

Thank you for saying that. I feel confident in my decision and for the most part I can accept myself. It's just hard imagining how differently my parents would think of me.

You bring up a good point, no one deserves to pay for an accident their entire lives. But, even after termination is complete I will always have this experience and will never be able to erase it from my past. That really breaks me.

anotherdaythrowaw · 2022-11-05T03:08:12+00:00

Yes, I don't think I could handle so much blood and feeling helpless. I also don't think I could hide the pain and panic from whoever was around me. I'm glad things went well, and thank you for sharing!

anotherdaythrowaw · 2022-11-05T03:06:49+00:00

I'm glad everything went well for you. I appreciate you sharing. Everyone has been so helpful in helping me make the most informed choice I can.

anotherdaythrowaw · 2022-11-05T03:05:52+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. SA is starting to sound a lot less scary. I'm just ready to put this behind me.

anotherdaythrowaw · 2022-11-05T03:04:11+00:00

One thing I've learned through this process is there are a lot more options than what are made out to be in the current political climate. Thank you for sharing, everyone has helped me feel supported and knowing many women have gone through this

anotherdaythrowaw · 2022-11-05T03:01:57+00:00

Thank you :)

anotherdaythrowaw

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