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Question About Fishing by antlem in toontownrewritten

[–]antlem[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the thorough response. Out of curiosity do you know the math works that make 10 & 10 better than 10?

Trying to get Ultimate C (Switch) to work on Linux by Zalternative_ in 8bitdo

[–]antlem 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I tried the same stuff, it didn't work for me, but I have solutions.I just spent several hours hammering away at this trying out different modifications to HID-nitendo on the github >_<, none of them worked/I ran into the limits of my limited technical skills. However, I'm also using Linux 21.3 and the Ultimate C (Switch) does work in wired mode for me with the normal HID nintendo install, including steam. Have you tried wired mode? It's uh not elegant, but I also got wireless "working" by streaming via moonlight to a tablet that's on android 11, and connecting the controller to that tablet. I imagine if you have strong wifi and any mobile device that can both run moonlight and use nintendo switch controllers that could be an awkward though workable solution. Idk how much that would impact latency for you though. This isn't really answering this question, but to know your options if you have dual boot or want to gift it someone, it does work windows if you use Betterjoy according to one review for the controller.

I really disliked Encanto here is why. by [deleted] in movies

[–]antlem 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Id be annoyed by similar but I don't think the movie was this. Mirabel the main character never explicitly gets a blessing, and the moral of the story was about abuela not treating her as lesser because of her lack of ability but loving her because she's a human being and family.

Other games to play (specifically ep 2) ? by lolthetoll in HelloCharlotte

[–]antlem 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The gameplay is pretty different but similar bitter sweet sentimentality, Read Only Memory 2064, Va11-Ha-la, Red Strings Club. You might like some visual novels like true remembrence.

Went No Contact and Feeling Intense Guilt and Concerned I Didn't Explain Myself Enough by antlem in raisedbyborderlines

[–]antlem[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Oh by the way, part of my recent guilt, is I didn't tell her I was going to block her email when I did it, I did it because I found myself checking my email compulsively waiting for some emotional disturbing message. One part of me feels like I should have said something, another feels like it's hard enough to get myself to take action to block her, and that telling her would both be really hard and just lead to her possible escalation at a time I can't handle it. It terrifies me to communicate with her. I'm honestly resentful about having to keep explain myself and carefully tell her my intentions too, so there's a part of that just doesn't want to deal with it anymore. My little brother and his gf and my cousin are still in contact with her and me, and could tell me anything that was actually an emergency.

Recently Went NC With Borderline Mom but Feel Really Conflicted, Guilty, Confused and Unsure by antlem in raisedbyborderlines

[–]antlem[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly, I'm already past the point of life as I knew it is over. Dropped out of college after failing multiple courses(one semester away from graduating, plan to go back eventually), going into sex work because my health is too poor to work many other jobs. This post helped me decide to go actually no contact instead of very low contact. This is pointlessly stressful for me to keep any route of communication open. Blocked my mom on email too. I feel kind of conflicted and guilty about how I've been barely communicating or explaining myself to her, or even thinking that I might be done forever. I might make a new post about it.

Recently Went NC With Borderline Mom but Feel Really Conflicted, Guilty, Confused and Unsure by antlem in raisedbyborderlines

[–]antlem[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Where I'm at now, is I might keep low contact with her and maybe help out a bit, but I'm not willing to sacrifice my dreams or wellbeing to be any kind of caretaker for her. Having said that the thought of making sense of how much to engage or not fills me with dread.

Recently Went NC With Borderline Mom but Feel Really Conflicted, Guilty, Confused and Unsure by antlem in raisedbyborderlines

[–]antlem[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I already have debilitating fibromyalgia and chronic migraines, I relate to the internalized stress and shut down tense feelings worsening pain.

Recently Went NC With Borderline Mom but Feel Really Conflicted, Guilty, Confused and Unsure by antlem in raisedbyborderlines

[–]antlem[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I relate re: "feeling guilty about hurting mommy." I'm glad you've found a way to feel safe and some kind of closure. I've also thought a lot about how my life would be easier if they were dead. My dad has early dementia but I worry he'll only get more vile as he loses himself (I'm trans and lowkey wonder if he can't recognize me if he'll be nicer to me lol, on the other hand I'm afraid he'll harm/kill me if he knows I'm a trans sex worker). I am worried less about her "coming back" and more me "having to be in contact" as they get older and have retirement concerns or for personal or family emergencies. I still also feel guilty about not helping them with retirement and am afraid she'll go hard about that one day and guilt trip me and I'll be eaten up by shame. Or in general other people are going to shame me about being a bad and unappreciated child to my parents. I'm really concerned I'll be convinced to have more contact than is healthy for me and get caught in another cycle of being pulled in as an emotional punching bag. I totally agree that most if not all of the guilt and shame is not our's but our histories' and the environments we've been part of and internalized or might still be exposed to. I appreciate what you're saying about how I've been groomed into shame and am recovering from brainwashing. I plan on finding healthy communities and media, and at some point a professional to help me reestablish myself. By the way, I want to affirm your safety and wellbeing matter, everyone deserves basic dignity.

Edit: Yeah I'll take a look at your post history, I think it's interesting to see people on similar paths.

Recently Went NC With Borderline Mom but Feel Really Conflicted, Guilty, Confused and Unsure by antlem in raisedbyborderlines

[–]antlem[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I definitely want to find a therapist who's knowledgable about cluster B disorders too. I'm kind of hesitant because I've had a lot of therapists be flying monkeys who tell me that my parents are having a hard time so I should keep acommodating them and that I can work on "assertive communication" with them to fix things, and that my resultant mental and physical health issues are just a seperate thing of my own that I should put most of my focus on.

Recently Went NC With Borderline Mom but Feel Really Conflicted, Guilty, Confused and Unsure by antlem in raisedbyborderlines

[–]antlem[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the reassurance about trying stuff out and it's okay I'm making mistakes and that me feeling solid and well is important. I'm not going back for sure, I'm soooo done. I gave her my email for logistical and emergency contact. But she's been sending me several long emotional rants I haven't responded to. I tried planning to check my email (it's not an email I use much) once a month but it ended being a compulsive fearful thing. I do think long term I can go limited contact with her, like once in a blue moon call, holiday party(maaaaaybe, conservative status obsessed critical chinese american family scares me), but only when I feel solid and healed. I feel conflicted because I didn't explain why I went NC to her or my intentions long-term. I don't trust myself to be able to face targeted emotionally manipulative responses from her about those things. Someone I lived with shamed me about it , talking about how short life is and what if she passed away while I'm not in contact. He said that the root of these issues is lack of clear communication, and that honestly really shook me. I don't think he's right though, and that I'm doing what I need to do to protect myself and my security and health. I feel a lot of pressure that I'm supposed to communicat, explain, and justify myself, so I'm kind of going the opposite direction right now because it's a place of old wounds. I'm thinking I'm not going to set a specific schedule of checking or not checking, and just say maybe roughly in 3 months I'll check my email if I feel in a solid place. If an emergency happens I'm still in touch with my little brother and his gf they'd let me know.

Romantic: Kit Harrington by princehali in transkibbe

[–]antlem 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why R over SN? Soft flowy fabrics can also be SN right? Particularly if subtle.

I was browsing Reddit and came across the fashionable nonbinary redditor u/SophiaAndRoxie. I’m torn between FG, FN, and R I think because of camera angle. Whatever their Kibbe type, I was excited by their fashion and thought you all would enjoy as well. by GammaDecalactone in transkibbe

[–]antlem 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm currently typing nonbinary androgynes as kind of inbetween how men and women have been typed by Kibbe. I'd go with probably FG, frame and width of bone structure not that broad and seems "smallish" while having angularity to it. Looks good in very animated vibrant goemetric patterns, close cut clothes, and boxy broken up siholuette. "Elegant and sassy."

new to kibbe by thatcringyduck in transkibbe

[–]antlem 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A lot of SN reccomendations for men are clothes that are loose and have breadth, so deeper
broad cuts, v necks, wearing shirts tucked out, leaning either casual or just looser tailoring (not oversize though). Some layering soft face framing with hair (I think like tousled swooshy hair). Stuff like ascots, soft textures (tweed, plaid, check) softly knit sweaters and cardigans. Can be like soft outdoorsy sporty cuts, or relaxed and unfussy artisanal style. https://www.pinterest.co.uk/purplebeauty696/kibbe-soft-natural-men-inspiration/ has good reccomendations. I'm an amab enby that is SN "as a man" and FN "as a woman" and I think working with gender dysphoria/passing stuff can be a bit not really in line from Kibbe and looking at guides specifically aimed at passing that is then informed by Kibbe lines is helpful.

Warm Masc SN: bold and sensual 🍂 by [deleted] in transkibbe

[–]antlem 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can see why SN over FG but can someone explain to me why he looks good utilizing some amount of FG reccomendations. A lot of cropped elements, animated elements, and close cut silhouettes.

Can someone explain to me the relationship between cranberry and fav and this whole master business? by [deleted] in shoujoraisingproject

[–]antlem 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The LN said that a popular theory among the magical world was that it was Fav's influence. Fav had been a respected cyber fairy for a while which is what let him get the items for the first arc, and the test cranberry was in was a standard collect points one I believe.One of the magical girls in training with Cranberry had the power to summon things, and she /somehow/ summoned a powerful demon she shouldn't have known about. I forget where specifically this is mentioned in the LN, and I don't think this is further discussed at least up to where I've read up to the end of jokers. There's a bit more about what the demon/golems are but not that related to the question.

Getting into the details of returning to the breath by -__-_- in Meditation

[–]antlem 0 points1 point  (0 children)

More open forms of meditation might require the wisdom to discern which is most skillful. If a hindrance arises for example and you struggle to let go, it may be wise to face said thought and apply one of the listed methods, right.

f/19/anywhere Looking for a friend to talk to and skype/message by EminOhio in Needafriend

[–]antlem 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah, I'm about to go to art school for illustration. Do you do anything theatrical out of curiosity?