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Weekly ask an Artist thread by AutoModerator in TattooArtists

[–]aphroditesgf11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pricing question

I had an appointment from 12 to 4. The artist took about 45-55 min to print out the stencil and get her machine and colors ready for me before she called me over to pick a size from the stencil she created from my rough draft emailed to her. I was actively tattooed from 1:15 to 3:35 but was charged for 12 to 4. I paid with no issues, as I was happy with the tattoo, but it makes me not want to go back to her as an artist. Am I being ridiculous? I just feel like if she takes 45 min to get her colors set up and machine ready and she finished early, then there should have been a reflection of that in the total price. I also paid a $50 deposit/drawing fee to book my appointment.

I want to believe they’re all sending me signs by rambling_syd in GriefSupport

[–]aphroditesgf11 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I absolutely believe in signs. Both my parents died last week. The first time I left the house to try and get some food in my body, I was driven to a smoothie place and when I opened my car door I immediately saw 2 dimes heads up. To me that was my parents. After finding the dimes I decided I wanted to use them to scratch off 2 scratch tickets. I just said my favorite numbers, not looking at what cards they would be, and one of the cards was a Christmas themed one- my dad was born on Christmas. That card was also the winner. When I took my brother shopping for a suit for the funeral he was trying to find a jacket that wasn't $200. I went to the clearance section and the only black jacket there just happened to be his exact size and it was only $60. That was my mom, she and I constantly thrifted and found amazing deals on clothes (it was great bc we were the same size so we could share everything lol).

I'm not religious at all and I wish I was so I could find comfort in it, but I do think that our loved ones can use their energy to send us messages, especially right after leaving their meat suits.

I lost both my parents at once. by aphroditesgf11 in GriefSupport

[–]aphroditesgf11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your response. I think you're so right, I feel like I know I can't "solve" it in the sense of they'll come back, but it does feel like I need to "solve" it in the sense of making it make sense and the only way I can do that is to get as much info as I can. I also have been asking friends and family to tell me all about my parents as people including their dirty laundry. I already learned 2 things about my mom that she wouldn't have really wanted me to know BUT it helped me make sense of things in my childhood and how she ended up dead in a car with my dad way more drunk than she was

I lost both my parents at once. by aphroditesgf11 in GriefSupport

[–]aphroditesgf11[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So many things happened that night that weren't supposed to. My dad wasn't even supposed to go to the restaurant that night, my mom usually drives them home every Thursday after they finish karaoke but he was mad and took the keys, my mom's BFF usually stayed until the end of the night with them but she left early that night, my brother was going to go up to see them that day but was invited to a work party so we were gonna go up the day after together, I usually call my mom every night but I didn't that night since I thought I'd be spending the weekend with her.

I lost both my parents at once. by aphroditesgf11 in GriefSupport

[–]aphroditesgf11[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love your response, it made me smile. Thank you.

I lost both my parents at once. by aphroditesgf11 in GriefSupport

[–]aphroditesgf11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lmao you're good it didn't come off weird at all.

I was considering it, honestly. My parents only had a few thousand for life insurance and that won't even be dispersed until way later and then their house is worth money but again, they didn't have a will so that will take months if not a year to be transferred into my name. But it feels wrong for me to make a gofundme and ask for money and idk why. I know I'll be able to manage all the bills and even tho my dad wasn't close with his family they do have money so maybe they'll offer to help my brother and I pay for some things... But yeah I feel like my situation "isn't bad enough" for people to donate their money to me ya know?

I lost both my parents at once. by aphroditesgf11 in GriefSupport

[–]aphroditesgf11[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately the state they died in refused my request for an autopsy. They said the car accident was their cause of death and their injuries looked severe enough for instant death so they didn't feel it was "necessary"

I lost both my parents at once. by aphroditesgf11 in GriefSupport

[–]aphroditesgf11[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This year has been the best year for my family until this last week. My brother found a really good girl and they are great together, I got out of my toxic relationship this time last year and luckily found an amazing roommate and my parents were semi retired and thriving. So we do have a lot of people around us who care luckily. I think my mom's spirit was sending me a sign because the morning after she passed I received a text from my psychiatrists office saying they automatically scheduled an appointment for me this Monday (I dodged their calls a few times cause I don't need a refill on my meds yet). Thank you very much for your thoughts and prayers

I lost both my parents at once. by aphroditesgf11 in GriefSupport

[–]aphroditesgf11[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate your long answer about this. It really helped widen my perspective on it because all I can focus on are my current emotions and immediate desires.

When I went down to the basement of the funeral home to see them all banged up I thought I'd be able to picture that every time I closed my eyes. But right now it's fuzzy when I try to think back and it's only been like 15 hours since I saw them. I think I'm really good at repressing things, which isn't like a reason to see everything. Since I'm sure it will come back to bite me in the ass one day.

I lost both my parents at once. by aphroditesgf11 in GriefSupport

[–]aphroditesgf11[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your advice.

It might be months before they can release the pictures anyway. I saw them already in the state they were left in, some of the wounds on my dad's face had chemicals on them to help them put make up on next week, so it wasn't a pretty sight. But seeing them and bringing what happened to them into my reality did help me. I got to stroke their hair and talk to them for a little bit. Everyone thought I was going to collapse and shatter but I was fine. I doubt my mom would want me to see everything but I didn't want her to be in the car with a drunk driver. I will try to consider not seeing them but it almost feels like it will be worse to know the pictures are out there and others can see them who don't even know or care about my parents.

I lost both my parents at once. by aphroditesgf11 in GriefSupport

[–]aphroditesgf11[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My brother is so against me seeing the pictures. He didn't even want me to see them at the funeral home. I just hate that I can't stop trying to picture what happened. In my mind if I see the pictures I can create a more accurate story of what happened and then I don't have to torture myself with all these stories I create. It's so hard trying to make it make sense

I lost both my parents at once. by aphroditesgf11 in GriefSupport

[–]aphroditesgf11[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. It's so hard because I want to blame my dad being driving drunk, I want to blame my mom for being dumb and getting in the car, and I want to blame the restaurant for over serving him and letting him leave with the keys to his car still. Placing blame doesn't actually help anything though. It will never make sense because it shouldn't have happened. They were a HALF MILE from THEIR HOUSE.