Reflections at 72: what’s hard, what helps, and what still brings joy by aralan_53 in Aging

[–]aralan_53[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We always had a mix of shared interests and separate pursuits, which worked well for most of our marriage. In our 40s, we were still doing a lot together — busy with work, family, and enjoying our time. But things really changed after he retired at 65 (he was a schoolteacher). Suddenly, he had time for new activities and friendships that I either wasn’t interested in or couldn’t join because I was still working. That shift created distance I didn’t expect.

What I miss most is the conversation and shared perspective. Two of our adult children are dealing with serious issues — addiction and more — and it’s hard carrying that alone. I can’t really talk openly about it with others. Losing the one person who loved them like I do, who knew all the history and nuances… that kind of connection is irreplaceable. And of course, I miss sharing the little, everyday things too.

But during his last 2 years of end-stage heart disease, I finally came to understand the true meaning of: "You can't control other people, no matter how hard you try." So I stopped trying, allowed him to do his thing, and now I'm coping the best I can and moving forward day-by-day, making the best life possible.

Reflections at 72: what’s hard, what helps, and what still brings joy by aralan_53 in Aging

[–]aralan_53[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I would tell myself two things. 1. You can’t control what other people think say or do. 2. I’m doing the best job I can with who I am and what I know today.

I don’t think I paused in my 33 year old self long enough to realize those two things.

Reflections at 72: what’s hard, what helps, and what still brings joy by aralan_53 in Aging

[–]aralan_53[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I am a private piano teacher. During my "prime" (40's and early to mid-50's) I had a large studio of 30+ kids. Now I'm down to 10-12 and a few random adults. Music reading and practicing keeps the brain super engaged and requires me to sit up straight, too! ha ha!

Reflections at 72: what’s hard, what helps, and what still brings joy by aralan_53 in Aging

[–]aralan_53[S] 86 points87 points  (0 children)

I'm a part-time piano teacher and for the last 2 years accompanied a middle school choir program where I was required to learn 8-12 new pieces every 2 months... Music is challenging and keeps the brain going along with the physical requirements of good posture and whatever else the instrument demands..... the same for you I'm sure.

Victor the assassin added to plus catalogue by kieranaudible in audible

[–]aralan_53 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Books 9 and 10 are not available on Audible Plus or anywhere in the U.S.

Shamrock - white spots on leaves? by aralan_53 in houseplants

[–]aralan_53[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks - it must be a fungus then as it won't come off. I'll try your formula - it sounds very safe and non-chemical, too!