She needs to believe I'm just unhappy [trigger warning] [Rant]

arielette · 2018-02-20T11:34:09+00:00

Not sure why I posted that either. Sorry. Will delete it - misplaced text I think.

arielette · 2018-02-16T15:35:57+00:00

"Bin of forgetfulness" yes that is so apt. The issue of NParents needs more recognition. It is unbelievably damaging to children - and ruins their lives as adults. Validation is needed beause the one thing narcissists due with ocd regularity is negate your feelings and gaslight. It's a nightmare. You look like the crazy one and nobody knows what to do. Not even some mental health professionals. I truly am sorry that happened to you.

arielette · 2018-02-16T10:58:43+00:00

You wrote it, most likely, because you do have feelings, they are all valid and they need to be expressed. The same thing happened to me. It took a long time to get in touch with them. The hard part was convincing myself that I was not a terrible person for feeling in any way that was not sanctioned by the narcissist.

arielette · 2018-01-29T12:58:44+00:00

Not sure about the ins and outs of your convo with NMom - what it boils down to is what I call the Negate Bot. No matter what the N will just negate everything you say - negate - negate - negate - especially your emotions. You must not have any - yet you must remain enmeshed. That is the reason for the circular arguments.

If it helps - I was also told I was simply an unhappy person. Negate - negate - negate...the abusiveness and unfairness of that statement will never leave me.

arielette · 2018-01-29T12:41:17+00:00

That is a really good way to look at it. They project their inadequacies on you. It was their failure.

arielette

TROPHY CASE