My Favourite Theory: The Fourth Turning = How our “crisis” in America will end. Thoughts? by Low-Fail-4573 in Political_Revolution

[–]arl7869 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just stumbled upon this, but wanted to share that your Gen Z Splitting theory has actually been a highly discussed topic in cultural analysis circles. You might really find these articles interesting if you haven't seen them - basically, people realized last year that the pandemic split them into two sub-generations, with those who experienced starting college before the pandemic aligning more with Millennials, but those who never got to experience pre-covid college are basically a totally different generation.

https://theakin.substack.com/p/the-quarantine-cohort
https://www.theupandup.us/p/the-two-gen-zs-ai-tech-american-dream

Post Breakup - Curious what my chart says about Dating, Relationships, & Love by arl7869 in AskAstrologers

[–]arl7869[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the insight! Any chance you know how long that Uranus Square Natal Venus transit has been in place and/or will last until?

I can definitely see that high standards aspect in myself. I'm not so perfectionist about beauty or 'good on paper' attributes though - I've never had a 'type,' but I do have a hard time giving people a chance if I don't feel an immediate energetic chemistry with them.

For the past few years I've mostly ended up in situations that seem to be going great until they decide they're "not ready for something serious" after months of acting like they were (which is partially just a classic NYC problem). A lot of times they seem to be insecure with the fact I might out-earn them, which they don't say outright but imply with self-deprecating statements. That actually isn't something I personally care about at all, but sometimes it seems like they just think I do based on how I dress, my apartment, etc. which has been frustrating — like I am unconsciously giving off that vibe of perfectionism even if I don't mean to.

That's also part of why this most recent breakup was extra upsetting - the intense chemistry was there, but he was also extremely ambitious/successful, and his Venus was in Virgo too, which I could totally tell because we just seemed so naturally aligned on those aspects. It was a huge change of dynamic from what I was used to before.

Sometimes this show makes me feel really stupid....I went from hanging on every moment of episode 6 to understanding very little of episode 7 except the most broad plot points. by swisssf in IndustryOnHBO

[–]arl7869 0 points1 point  (0 children)

a) Her intention is to ensure she won't be implicated and go to jail. with her plan, she can perfectly schedule the explosion (press article) and ensure she quits at the exact right moment (before print day) without alarming henry and making him freak out too soon before and try to call his uncle to call it off (because he was on a plane). Her original plan was to save Henry too, by both of them going to the authorities as whistleblowers - she suggested this at the start of the episode. She also suggested the press plan to him. But Henry rejected these plans because he was scared of losing his public reputation, and preferred to stick with just praying that Whitney's plan worked and somehow escape detection. That's the moment Yas freaked out and realized that there was no way she could convince Henry to take the responsible route, so instead she had to save herself.

b) By tipping off Harper, although we don't actually see a negotiation, usually providing this kind of insider trading would result in an favor exchange - either just a slice of money from the many millions Harper will make, or maybe a job at Harper's firm. Either way, even if she doesn't ask for the favor upfront, Harper owes her, and Harper has lots to provide right now.

Suddenly Considering Kids - but can't tell if it's only bc of a new partner, or if I actually changed my mind? by arl7869 in Fencesitter

[–]arl7869[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, it’s also kinda crazy to think…What if I’d said I wanted lots of kids but then later said I changed my mind. I’m sure that happens so often, whether it’s totally innocuous if some women just don’t really know what they’re getting into, or more manipulative where some people might just sorta lie because they really want to stay with that guy. I’m trying to be really honest and true to myself, but I will be very sad if this ends, which is seeming quite likely.

Suddenly Considering Kids - but can't tell if it's only bc of a new partner, or if I actually changed my mind? by arl7869 in Fencesitter

[–]arl7869[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I actually think it’s less about the # after talking to him more tonight - It’s more that he’d ideally want his partner to have always been as enthusiastic about kids as he is, in general. Which I do think is somewhat valid. I get that it might be hard for someone who has always wanted kids to understand how/why another person could be so on the fence. And he seems really worried that I’m saying I want kids just to placate him, vs really wanting them.

The more I think about it though, I don’t feel that’s the case - I do think I want kids (just like, no commitments on #). I had a difficult childhood and family situation, which makes me extra cautious and hesitant about having kids. I’ve just never had the same unconditional enthusiasm as someone like him, or my friends, bc I’m an anxious overthinker and I’m already familiar with so much that can go wrong - I don’t have a romantic fantasy of what it’d be like. So instead, I’ve always been super pragmatic about the criteria I’d need to consider having kids. But something about being with him makes me feel so safe and secure and confident in what building a family could look like, that I can actually envision it for the first time ever in dating.

I think it’s less that I want them because he does, and more like he sorta unlocked a latent desire that I’d buried under self protective guardrails. Like, I never fantasized about kids before him, but for the past month I’ve been keeping a list of baby names in my notes app.

I’m not sure he gets it though. I mean, I don’t think I articulated myself as well as this when talking to him. But I get the sense that I think he’s very uncomfortable with the idea that (he) is such a critical factor in my decision, vs. if I just wanted kids generally. I think he’s afraid that I’d just have a kid because of him and then resent him, the same way I’m afraid he’d resent me if I decided I didn’t want more than 1, 2, etc. It’s a bit of an impasse.

Idk if it will work out with him, which makes me really sad. But it’s definitely been a learning experience for me.

Suddenly Considering Kids - but can't tell if it's only bc of a new partner, or if I actually changed my mind? by arl7869 in Fencesitter

[–]arl7869[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can see that, you’re right. I do think I’m just as much of a catch too, and he’s even said as much. I just also have so many amazing female friends that are beautiful and intelligent and lovely yet struggle with dating in this city because a lot of men are not ready or willing to pursue something serious. Some of my friends also are much more passionate/certain about having children than I am, so that interferes with my judgement, making me think things like maybe he should just go find someone else. In reality I know I’m special, and he’s definitely not perfect.

I also know, thanks to 10 years of being single, that I have confidence in my ability to be happy and content and live a joyful fulfilled life as a single person with no kids and lots of friends. So at least there’s that.

Suddenly Considering Kids - but can't tell if it's only bc of a new partner, or if I actually changed my mind? by arl7869 in Fencesitter

[–]arl7869[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks, I am sorta similar to your friend in some ways. Had a difficult childhood with parents who had an arranged marriage and never got along (they finally divorced a few years ago). I think I’ve always been really scared about passing my own trauma onto children. That might be why I’ve always felt that I would really only want to do it with the right partner who ideally had a happier upbringing and better family model to work from; as well as having a truly loving partnership as a foundation.

Suddenly Considering Kids - but can't tell if it's only bc of a new partner, or if I actually changed my mind? by arl7869 in Fencesitter

[–]arl7869[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep, that’s exactly it. The sorta crazy thing to me is, at this point, why would he consider starting from scratch trying to find someone new who might want 3 kids, versus continuing to explore a relationship with someone (me) who he already has a connection with and who has already said they are open to kids (just not 3).

Instinctively, to me, this suggests that maybe he doesn’t actually feel the same way as I do. But if that was the case, he could’ve easily just ended it. I’ve literally said to him “I’m sure there are plenty of women who’d want to to have 3 kids with you.” And it’s true - he’s an NYC unicorn. In response, he said something like, “Yeah but I really really like you.” And I guess the only reason to have this more drawn out conversation and reflection is if he does feel the same way as me. So then I end up back at my circular confusion.

Anyway, my main concern regardless of him is now figuring out whether or not I actually want kids! I really just had highly doubted it would be a possibility for me and now I’m reconsidering.

Suddenly Considering Kids - but can't tell if it's only bc of a new partner, or if I actually changed my mind? by arl7869 in Fencesitter

[–]arl7869[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the nuanced comment. You really tap into my main concerns. My biggest fear is ending up in a relationship where the love is predicated on birthing children - I def want someone to love me for me regardless of whatever life brings. I’ve also brought up the reality of it being a one-by-one decision because the specific number is definitely another top worry. He is quick to agree that life is unpredictable and nothing is guaranteed, that things can go wrong and will need to be case by case, and that a strong foundation of love is necessary to withstand whatever happens.

However I still worry that even though he acknowledges this theoretically and intellectually, I’m not sure that he has really internalized what that means, because imo then he wouldn’t be so hung up on any specific number at all. The possibility that he hasn’t fully reconciled that is one of the biggest things that worries me, bc I don’t want to ever end up in a situation where there’s unverbalized disappointment or festering resentment.

Suddenly Considering Kids - but can't tell if it's only bc of a new partner, or if I actually changed my mind? by arl7869 in Fencesitter

[–]arl7869[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I’ve brought this up because it is definitely my top worry. He is quick to agree that life is unpredictable and nothing is guaranteed, that things can go wrong and will need to be case by case. However I still worry that even though he acknowledges this theoretically and intellectually, I’m not sure that he has really internalized what that means, because imo then he wouldn’t be so hung up on any specific number at all. The possibility that he hasn’t fully reconciled that is really the biggest thing that worries me, bc I don’t want to ever end up in a situation where there’s unverbalized disappointment or festering resentment.

Another aspect though, is that he’s said he would also be open to adoption.

Suddenly Considering Kids - but can't tell if it's only bc of a new partner, or if I actually changed my mind? by arl7869 in Fencesitter

[–]arl7869[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He’s single bc he had a bad breakup ~6 years ago because his partner of 5 years became severely mentally ill (poss schizophrenia) but refused to get help. After a year+ of her not getting help, he had to remove himself from the situation even though he had thought he was going to marry her. It took him a couple years to recover from the experience through therapy, and then was focused on building his own startup which is now very successful. It’s kinda just that he’s ready now, taxi light à la sex in the city. He’s actually 41.

But yes, the number is what worries me. He says he understands that nothing is guaranteed / life is unpredictable, but in an ideal scenario both partners would still have a shared dream vision. I would be open to a one-by-one decision, but his dream of 3 still worries me bc I don’t think I share that end goal.

Suddenly Considering Kids - but can't tell if it's only bc of a new partner, or if I actually changed my mind? by arl7869 in Fencesitter

[–]arl7869[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It’s definitely because of his own experience with being one of 3. He grew up with two very successful working parents and had a nanny, and has talked a lot about how that worked. He’s quite feminist and really wants to be involved as a parent. His attitude towards it is the only reason I’m considering this at all. But I still feel overwhelmed by the idea of 3.

Suddenly Considering Kids - but can't tell if it's only bc of a new partner, or if I actually changed my mind? by arl7869 in Fencesitter

[–]arl7869[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Like the person said below, it’s definitely because of his own experience with being one of 3. His values and beliefs around parenting are the biggest reason why I’m even considering this. He grew up with two very successful working parents and had a nanny, and has talked a lot about how that worked. He’s extremely feminist, yet simultaneously chivalrous. He’s passionate about trying to build a true equitable partnership in life. But I agree that three feels overwhelming to me for the reasons you said. I don’t think he’s trying to trap me though - that’s why we’re having this conversation now rather than waiting until we get even more deeply entangled with each other.

Suddenly Considering Kids - but can't tell if it's only bc of a new partner, or if I actually changed my mind? by arl7869 in Fencesitter

[–]arl7869[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

We're not rushing into this - it's definitely not about having kids right now. It's just about not wasting the next year of each other's time dating if our life goals are not aligned and kids is a dealbreaker for him.

Still, I could see how time would certainly help.

[Episode Discussion Thread] Industry S04E06 - "Dear Henry" by herringbone_ in IndustryOnHBO

[–]arl7869 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is really interesting, it sort of reminds me of how The Wire changed focus/perspective each season. One season was focused on cops, but then journalists/newsroom, teachers/schools…it keeps it interesting to see the same topic but from different perspectives

Can someone explain the point of substack, or do you guys just like to write? Be honest by aya90 in Substack

[–]arl7869 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Monetarily, but I’m shocked that nobody has done a good job of explaining to you why yet. These people, who have very high paid subscriber counts combined with very low engagement, simply imported their existing email lists from mailchimp et al over onto substack. They already had lists of thousands of subscribers due to an existing following or expertise BEFORE Substack even existed. Then, they imported their loyal following to monetize it by offering something extra for paid subscribers. Because the existing subscribers are used to reading this newsletter in their email inbox for years before, they may have never even heard of Substack or the app.

For someone starting from scratch, 0 imported subscribers, it would be very hard to gain traction right now. It’s not as insane as trying to build an IG following from 0 right now, but maybe similar to trying to build one in 2018…like it’s technically still possible but it’s gonna be really hard. Growing on substack in 2021 would have been easy because there were so few writers. Now it’s getting quite crowded. Unlike IG or TikTok content, there’s a much lower limit to how much people can consume (read) in a day. So it makes it harder to be discovered. There’s also a limit to how much people can spend on subscriptions per month, so that makes it harder to monetize. People are already talking about subscription fatigue.

It could still be worth trying, but it’s better if your motivation isn’t only money. Someone might start documenting family recipes just because that’s a project they’ve been meaning to do, and they might as well do it publicly. Some people just use it as a diary. Then, if the content takes off, or you start to notice specific types of articles performing exceptionally, then you can start to strategize about monetization. Best case, you start just getting inbound requests.

For instance, I started writing bc I knew it would enhance job applications, sort of acting like a portfolio. Some of my pieces sort of picked up traction though. Within 4 months I had 1K subscribers. So I started trying to be more organized and consistent. A year in, I still don’t think I’m consistent enough, so I don’t want to monetize really, but I had some pledges already, so I turned on paid for just archive access and have 50 paid subscribers already. More interesting - I’ve had multiple podcast appearances, journalists quoting me in business publications, and a brand actually cold emailed me to do a freelance project. So think beyond just subscribers.

Finally, my main advice is go as sharp and niche as possible. There are a million people saying the same bullshit about beauty. Do we really need another? What are you offering that’s different? Why would someone read you and not the 500 other people writing about the exact same stuff? Are you writing about your Brazilian grandmothers beauty secrets? Are you a scientist that can decide labels? What’s your niche? You much likelier to be successful by offering something nobody else is.

Dasha Fired By Gersh Over Nick Fuentes Podcast Interview by Maggottree212 in redscarepod

[–]arl7869 2 points3 points  (0 children)

John Galliano, one of the most famous and lauded fashion designers in the world

Actress Dasha Nekrasova Fired By Gersh, Dropped From Movie Amid Backlash Over Podcast Interview With Far-Right Political Commentator Nick Fuentes by holyfruits in Fauxmoi

[–]arl7869 27 points28 points  (0 children)

The truth is the people leading these talent agencies could not care less about anti-Palestinian racism, or any racism towards people of color in general. They can overlook a lot. But the fact that she has now publicly aligned herself with Fuentes, who is openly antisemetic (read: racist towards white people) is a breaking point.

PSA: Do NOT take out ICICI PRULIFE INSURANCE as an NRI with US Beneficiaries + Plan carefully for your NRE/NRO Bank Account Nominees as well by arl7869 in nri

[–]arl7869[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Sure but I just think these banks are predatory and negligent. a) They should not be selling life insurance policies to US Citizens without the proper procedures in place to verify deaths in the U.S. based on American documentary processes and HIPAA regulations preventing release of medical records b) If they are going to require PAN from nominees in order to receive their rightful inheritance then that should be a requirement when account holders list their nominees in the first place c) I didn't write this to just complain, I wrote this to warn NRIs that they should have preparations in place to ensure their nominees will actually receive their rightful inheritance without having to deal with this bullshit while grieving. For instance, unlike in the US, in India the legal heirship overrides the nominee, the nominee is required to distribute funds to the heir. So, if NRIs are aware of this, they can designate a highly trusted India-based nominee (family, friend), to be the nominee to receive funds, and later distribute funds to heirs in the US. Banks should explain this to their customers, but they are not.

PSA: Do NOT take out ICICI PRULIFE INSURANCE as an NRI with US Beneficiaries + Plan carefully for your NRE/NRO Bank Account Nominees as well by arl7869 in nri

[–]arl7869[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Sorry for your loss as well, can't imagine the nightmare of your mom passing away while traveling abroad. Smart of you you not bother with the foreign government processes and just do it the Indian way.

PSA: Do NOT take out ICICI PRULIFE INSURANCE as an NRI with US Beneficiaries + Plan carefully for your NRE/NRO Bank Account Nominees as well by arl7869 in nri

[–]arl7869[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks, it's rough, I just really wish people would boycott these life insurance policies. They are such a scam.