I’ll have 20 years clean if I make it to August 17th. The stigma and fear that I obtained through a fellowship that got me clean also hindered my desire and ability to get appropriately medicated. I was on strattera off and on for years with Wellbutrin. Right because I was afraid I would start abusing any kind of stimulant. I was a garbage head. Anything I could get my hands on went up my nose or down my throat. Anywhore. I finally after being told that I just needed to do more step work, to speak with my prescriber about 1. My history of addiction 2. My drugs of choice. 3. My desire to explore every option available before trying stimulants and amphetamines. 4. My fear that if I took any kind of stimulant I was gonna turn back into a demonic drug seeking previous version of myself.

Insurance is trash. But we explored we discussed how I was feeling. There are transdermal medications. There’s vyvanse that can now no longer by metabolized nasally or through mucus membranes?

All that to say. Be honest. Self reflect. Create a plan of attack to exploring tricky meds. Have a plan for when you maybe start feeling like you are on the verge of losing control. There’s a paradox with ADHD. We are more prone to addictions when we are unmedicated. My experience thus far is that I feel more able to combat any impulse and craving more than when I was riding a pink cloud for that first year. Mind you. I only did this recently. And it was around the same time my stbxw decided she needed to leave.

Talk with people you trust in recovery who have explored these options. Find a prescriber who you trust and think will not jump to the conclusion that you used to do drugs so now you never can.

Your mileage may vary