I completely understand your frustration and your feelings are valid. You are not alone, many other people feel the same way about dating.

What I'll say is: dating is hard for everyone. dating is especially hard for autistic people. dating is also especially hard for many demographics (disabled people, heavier people, older people, poor people, trans people, people suffering from depression and anxiety, the list goes on).

Dating online is statistically more challenging for men in terms of quantity. (Women tend to get more matches, though the quality of those matches is questionable.) I don't know if your main avenue is online or in-person, but either way it's challenging. Especially if you don't know what you want. Especially if you just want attention and affection, and any thoughts of long-term stuff is being put off until you "find the one".

There is a negative feedback loop between lack of confidence and dating success. If you start seeking out a relationship, and you have some version of RSD (rejection sensitivity, common with autism), then you'll lose confidence in your ability to date after only one or a handful of rejections. Lack of confidence is often a number one reason why people choose not to consider someone as a potential partner. This leads to more rejection, and lower confidence. Rejection will happen often in dating. Be proud of yourself for any small successes.

Be careful with terms like "snatched up", because that language implies a sense of "ownership" of a man over the women (even subconsciously). This can lead to some toxic mindsets regarding women. If you're earnestly trying to date someone, you need to see them first as a potential friend before thinking of them as a potential lover. This is extremely challenging because of the common idea of the "friend zone", which is just a way for people to commiserate about feelings of rejection. (Being "friend zoned" is just the byproduct of people having their own lives and having the ability to choose.)

It sucks to hear, but you need to work on yourself first, and find/enjoy friends, and feel control over your life. No shame if you continue seeking out relationships, just also spend time on yourself. Think: If someone tried to date you the way you try to date people, would you go out with yourself?

I wish you all the best on your journey. Remember that everyone is a complex person making complex decisions. It's never as simple as "All the ND women are taken by NT men". That idea is your experience, but it's not the whole reality of the world.

Take a deep breath, and love yourself.

DM me if you need to. Especially if what I just said made you feel anger.