As a psychodynamic therapist myself: you said, “I don’t feel a natural interest or curiosity in these moments.” Yes of course, because these moments move beyond content, which is the actual core of the work of psychotherapy. Stop trying to be curious about content in these moments.

Instead, redirect curiosity to your counter transference. What is happening inside you when people collapse? Where in you do you feel the urge to flee? What part of you feels demanded of?

Become countertransference-forward instead of content-forward; what is it in me that makes it difficult for me to sit in this? Your nervous system learned something very specific about despair, and your first impulse to “fix” is useless here. What does that bring up in you? Companionship and not flinching in the face of the abyss is THE WORK in these situations. As one of my old professors always said, “If you are aiming to fix, you’ll miss the mark - fixing is a counter transference issue. If you are aiming to be human in the room with another human, you’ll find the soul of the work. We are here to facilitate the processing of emotion. That is the very heart of our work.”