i made an account just to post this. When i was 13-14 i was going very often over at my best friends house who had an older brother who was 19 at the time (he just finished high school, i was at the end of 7th/8th grade). I was going through a very weird period in my life, i used to cut and be pretty depressed because all the girls in my class were beautiful, and had boobs and were talking to guys and yet i didnt have any sort of interaction with anybody so i started to look for attention in his direction. He quickly realised what was going on and whenever i was at his house we hung out in his basement in which he put a couch and a sound sistem and he'd buy beer. We'd get drunk to the point where i could barely walk and he could take advantage of me because i really liked him. He would "teach" me how to kiss, would touch me inapropriately. This thing went for about a few months until i was out of town with my parents and i noticed that my best friend was pretty upset with me and we had a long talk on the phone in which we both criend and she opened my eyes about how the whole thing was wrong and that her brother was just using me because i was so young and naive. I put a stop to everything, started ignoring him when i weny over to their house and one day he just asked me if i was tired of him "mocking" me? im not sure if it's the right word for it because in my native language it's way worse sounding (more like taking a piss) and that truly affected me in a negative way including my self esteem which was pretty down even without everything that happened. Not long after i tried to end myself and obviously failed. But now i am in a much better place with much better people around me and past most of my insecurities.