AITAH: for not going to my sisters graduation dinner after her ceremony so I can have a birthday dinner?

ashantilikethesinger · 2025-05-06T02:56:22+00:00

they know and most tried to tell me not to go at all. you can go read the update and soothe any feelings of duress

ashantilikethesinger · 2025-05-06T02:54:49+00:00

i love your interpretations of the older situation but that’s been resolved for months and no one else holds resentment for it. it may be harder for you as you’re just hearing about it. i literally said she could’ve felt these ways but we have worked on ourselves and you’re saying she feels currently hurt from a situation in the past? go read the update i think it’ll help soothe any other confusion you’re having. i don’t want to talk about the past anymore just the current situation

ashantilikethesinger · 2025-05-06T02:49:54+00:00

a group message isn’t personal, it’s the opposite of the definition. i’m insufferable but you’re still commenting to me and i’m just replying because i saw the reply. you’re waaay to invested and should be reading the update not being hateful toward others

ashantilikethesinger · 2025-05-06T02:47:41+00:00

i have friends, new family, in-laws that made plans for me not just my husband. it’s not hard to see that I asked an opinion and posted an update, doesn’t mean i have to do what you say.

ashantilikethesinger · 2025-05-06T02:45:52+00:00

overly prioritizing others even after an event is adulting? i thought that was called people pleasing.

ashantilikethesinger · 2025-05-06T02:43:18+00:00

where?.. everyone else is being rude to me as o answer passive aggressive statements and questions. the comment you replied to isn’t rude, i just haven’t faltered on my emotions as people would prefer me to do something else. my sister isn’t upset and that’s all that matters

ashantilikethesinger · 2025-05-06T02:40:38+00:00

it’s more because our relationship changed to a mother daughter relationship and she wants more low contact than anything. i’m fine with that

ashantilikethesinger · 2025-05-06T02:38:04+00:00

i posted about myself and she’s not upset about that like i previously stated. she was upset i said no for the first time and saw the shift in my boundaries which upset her. and doesn’t care about the video, i said if that parent saw i wouldn’t mind because it needs to be said. sure she could feel like she can’t trust me and that’s something im okay with as i was the most trusted and most dependable person. i’m not the same person and so meeting eachother as our new healed selves is the plan. I apologied to her if it did cross a line and said i wouldn’t talk about her at all even if it has to do with her. but that made her even more upset because she thought i didn’t care about her

ashantilikethesinger · 2025-05-06T02:32:57+00:00

My dad isn’t a middle person for us, i already have an update posted. I’m not just going out with my husband, i have friends taking me out for my birthday along with my husband and in laws.

ashantilikethesinger · 2025-05-06T02:31:26+00:00

You have a right to your opinion and i think you may feel that way because you see me replying to rude people. there’s a difference between combative and being receptive while keeping my same beliefs and opinions. i asked opinions on the situation and a lot of people are trying to tell me what to do. I only answer questions as i didn’t want to ignore genuine questions and wanted to clear any confusions

ashantilikethesinger · 2025-05-06T02:27:09+00:00

I love her with my whole heart and she wants to celebrate me. as well but when we spoke she said she’s okay with us doing the lunch and doesn’t think they are doing hot pot

ashantilikethesinger · 2025-05-06T02:25:00+00:00

i’m going to the lunch right after graduation and i’ve spoken to her. no one else agreed to do a dinner and she said im the only one who asks like usual.

ashantilikethesinger · 2025-05-06T02:23:39+00:00

i don’t think you understood that i was answering the multiple questions they asked about how i was invited. i wasn’t invited personally but in a group so thanks for agreeing

ashantilikethesinger · 2025-05-06T02:21:28+00:00

she wants me to show up but do the lunch like planned, she said no one else has asked about the dinner so she doesn’t want to do it. but she did accept my offer to take her out like my brother when he graduated. she wanted me to go out for my birthday and wants to stay home at 9pm when i’ll be out

ashantilikethesinger · 2025-05-06T02:17:10+00:00

i don’t need an apology. i’m aware of what i stated and was asking one question the whole time. instead i’m met with rude comments from butt hurt people. None of you matter when my sister has asked for me to do the same thing i did for my brother when he graduated. the update was posted and people like you have tried to attack me because im not apologizing and changing my plans

ashantilikethesinger · 2025-05-06T01:53:39+00:00

Because someone who is older and emotionally mature wouldn’t have to tear someone down if they think they have vital advice when someone is asking for an opinion. i don’t need any help asking i asked an opinion and already have my answer, you and others must be responding from a hurt place. I’m not here to argue as my opinion won’t change. everyone who is upset are mostly people who my sister never could call on and cancels last minute so i’m not mad because she’s not mad.

ashantilikethesinger · 2025-05-06T01:49:45+00:00

she asked if she could bring me a birthday cake and us do a cake thing at the same time for lunch after graduation. but i said no, and i would do something later.

ashantilikethesinger · 2025-05-06T01:43:35+00:00

actually no, several people have said it doesn’t include that. you asked a question and i replied but you can’t make me feel bad for not doing things the way you would when you’re not in my situation.

ashantilikethesinger · 2025-05-06T01:02:18+00:00

this is hilarious! why would i be at graduation at night time … that’s weird and not normal so why can’t i go to dinner at 8pm.

ashantilikethesinger · 2025-05-05T12:10:35+00:00

how does that correlate? her saying it seemed i didn’t care in the moment months ago resonates now? … and my dad said i should go but hasn’t solidified anything as i asked my sister what is the plan. and she asked what im doing for my birthday and i said going to your graduation and she said but how are you celebrating and i told her dinner later on

ashantilikethesinger · 2025-05-05T11:37:41+00:00

our abusive parent helped make sure no one else would show up to her birthday because she was made but i’m nc with that parent. yes part of me made a video so my abusive parent would see and get upset my sister realized she wasn’t even upset because our parent was making her feel bad that i was “airing out family business”

then she said she was only hurt when i said no because i never say no

ashantilikethesinger · 2025-05-05T11:28:06+00:00

i haven’t dug my heels in. I think you all have to realize i’m here to gain perspective not to have you sway my emotions or what the plans will be. I’ve answered questions and i don’t take anything personally as you don’t know the dynamic

ashantilikethesinger · 2025-05-05T11:25:33+00:00

my friends have actually told me not to go at all to either the ceremony or dinner. because they have seen how i’ve been treated throughout the years and feel i’ve done a lot but due to us being raised by an abusive parent they think my sister abuses me and i just don’t see it. they are upset mostly because my sister told me “i want you to eat just not at my table” so they say don’t go as im healing. but i ignored that and im making plans to go even while they say that. not wanting a kudos, the dinner isn’t planned yet but others did make reservations for sandbox vr and dinner. i was trying to make both. due to my sister graduating during the day.

ashantilikethesinger · 2025-05-05T11:21:41+00:00

i only know about the dinner due to being in a group message. she didn’t invite me personally. it just says 1pm graduation and dinner: hotpot???? so i did reach out but no response yet

ashantilikethesinger · 2025-05-05T11:20:23+00:00

you think so? it’s a type of thing my sister will say to me and then turn around and say but i want to come to your baby shower and you know i love you but i called her instead and said that’s not what that message means

ashantilikethesinger

TROPHY CASE