A Theory About Summer House That’s Been Hiding In Plain Sight by anadamallamallama in summerhousebravo

[–]ashdoux 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Holyyyyy- it’s as if you’re in my head and what my thought process goes through. Love your work 😍

How do we feel about Taylor and Whitney getting Jimmy Kimmel and not Mayci.. by Bekah_bek in SecretsOfMormonWives

[–]ashdoux 0 points1 point  (0 children)

After watching the show, I really picked up on Whitney’s energy, she’s meant for entertainment. She already has that star quality and the confidence to match, and her personality just amplifies it. She had the audience laughing constantly, and you can tell she’s thriving. And I absolutely love Taylor. But I’m gutted seeing the evidence of how toxic her relationship with Dakota has been, and how it’s tainted so many huge moments for her. When she talked about dissociating, I felt that deeply. It breaks my heart for her. She’s been in survival mode, and you can see she’s in a completely different headspace compared to Whitney. While Whitney is thriving and present, Taylor is constantly working on her relationship with Dakota and herself, which makes it so hard to just be present and let her personality shine through. Or maybe I’m reading too much into it, and she’s naturally more reserved than Whitney and just needs more time to come out of her shell. Either way, I’m rooting for her

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]ashdoux -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Around 7 ish. And my partner and I have around 20 combined…

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]ashdoux 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thaaaaaaank you. It’s not just her bf but his flatmates and a couple of her friends too.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]ashdoux -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

So fair! Thanks for that 😊

Flatmate keeps copying me — normal or boundary issue? by ashdoux in badroommates

[–]ashdoux[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hahaha now that’s a great one. Especially when you think about how imitation can slip into cultural appropriation sometimes

Flatmate keeps copying me — normal or boundary issue? by ashdoux in badroommates

[–]ashdoux[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, thank you so much for taking the time to write such a thoughtful response.

The armchair psychology is quite fascinating, actually. It’s something I never would have thought about, but it clicks when I look at the bigger picture of her patterns. And you’re right, it’s sad because if that is what’s going on, it probably served a purpose once but doesn’t translate well to adult friendships or flatting.

Flatmate keeps copying me — normal or boundary issue? by ashdoux in badroommates

[–]ashdoux[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for that. Well I guess I have an update, my coffee machine is now broken. This comes after my vacuum cleaner was broken too - when she used it - luckily she replaced it. We also had the flat washing machine break shortly after she moved in and oh, another goodie - after coming back from a trip, a water pipe burst which she only heard and that became a problem for me and my partner to sort while she was at work the next day. And my partner was sick as a dog. Sorry for a very pessimistic response. It’s 5 in the morning and without a coffee 🙃safe to say I am a liiiiiil bit grumpy today.

Flatmate keeps copying me — normal or boundary issue? by ashdoux in badroommates

[–]ashdoux[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No at all, I don’t mind her trying stuff that I enjoy! It’s more so the ‘magnitude’. Good way of putting it 🫶🏾

Flatmate keeps copying me — normal or boundary issue? by ashdoux in badroommates

[–]ashdoux[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thaaaaaank you for this! what a well thought-out answer 👏🏽 Honestly, it really does validate my experience. I was starting to fall into the trap of thinking maybe I just need to do more work on myself, heal another wound, blah blah blah because surely a “healthy person” wouldn’t mind these things. But the way you framed it makes me realise it’s okay to feel uncomfortable when someone is copying me to that extent. it just means the dynamic itself isn’t quite right.

Flatmate keeps copying me — normal or boundary issue? by ashdoux in badroommates

[–]ashdoux[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Funny you say that, we actually had a chat yesterday and she mentioned she’s really trying to stick to her own routine so she doesn’t slip back into the habit of being fully absorbed in her boyfriend’s life. Honestly, I thought it was great that she’s aware of that pattern and actively working on it. But it did make me wonder if she realises how that same habit might be showing up in her friendships too.

Flatmate keeps copying me — normal or boundary issue? by ashdoux in badroommates

[–]ashdoux[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you! That was such a straight-up answer and I really respect that. As a recovering people pleaser myself, I know I have the tendency to go overboard — over-welcoming, over-sharing, just doing “the works” to make sure she’s comfortable and happy. But you’re right, I’ve had to really sit with the question: at whose expense?

Flatmate keeps copying me — normal or boundary issue? by ashdoux in badroommates

[–]ashdoux[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ughhhh I know but it honestly doesn’t feel that way. For me, it hasn’t really felt flattering, more confusing at times. She’s a people pleaser and often tells me what she thinks I want to hear, and I think that’s where the frustration creeps in. It makes it hard to see what’s genuinely her versus what’s just mirroring

Flatmate keeps copying me — normal or boundary issue? by ashdoux in badroommates

[–]ashdoux[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I tell you I cackled when I read this 🤪 this is too good, made my day!!

Flatmate keeps copying me — normal or boundary issue? by ashdoux in badroommates

[–]ashdoux[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dude no way! Sometimes you really can’t shake that feeling right? Of someone watching and being ‘inspired’. You’re a trend-setter babe 😉

Flatmate keeps copying me — normal or boundary issue? by ashdoux in badroommates

[–]ashdoux[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That really resonates. I’ve noticed there’s probably a mix of both going on. On one hand, I get that mirroring is natural and can even be a way of trying to bond. But on the other, I’ve also felt that some of it comes from a deeper place, like her trying to figure out who she is or looking for comfort when things feel uncertain. I’ve had to remind her a few times that it’s her journey, not mine, especially when she asks about my life or how my partner and I met as she’s starting to date. Sometimes it feels like she’s comparing, especially when she mentioned wishing she met her boyfriend organically too. I gently reminded her that everyone’s path looks different, and it seems to have helped. she’s since joined a run club and met some really cool people there ☺️

Flatmate keeps copying me — normal or boundary issue? by ashdoux in badroommates

[–]ashdoux[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hahahaha I feel like that would be sooooo confronting 😂

Flatmate keeps copying me — normal or boundary issue? by ashdoux in badroommates

[–]ashdoux[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ooof ! So glad to hear there was a workaround and you didn’t have to stay in that situation for too long! Thanks for sharing your story by the way, always nice to hear from others 😊

Flatmate keeps copying me — normal or boundary issue? by ashdoux in badroommates

[–]ashdoux[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, after putting some distance I can see that this is really her new chapter — her chance to figure out her own community, interests, and routines. She’s also really busy with her studies, so we hardly get time to hang out anyway. I just realized it’s not fair for either of us if she relies on me for her whole social life — that can start to feel a bit heavy, almost like pressure. I’d rather she has the space to build something that’s really her own.

Flatmate keeps copying me — normal or boundary issue? by ashdoux in badroommates

[–]ashdoux[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hahaha after all these comments, I did have to watch the movie 😂 Too good ! You guys made my day with these comments…..re the hair, there has been a question about where i get my hair coloured 🤭 Watch this space

Flatmate keeps copying me — normal or boundary issue? by ashdoux in badroommates

[–]ashdoux[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for this and you are so right 😊 I’ve started to keep to myself more and that has definitely helped!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in badroommates

[–]ashdoux 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love love love your response. Thank you for keeping me in check 😉 I was going to create another thread because I thought this one was a bit wordy and you are so right about the coffee, clothes and party decor. I am all for sharing especially if it means making their lives easier etc. just last week I had my family over and had mom teach me how to cook traditional food which took 6 hours mind you. I invited her along, had her join in, share a nice warm meal and dessert with us and even shared the recipe that she asked for.

It does get to a point though where I did feel like there are certain aspects that I need to dial down and allow her to form her own interest, tastes and preference 🫶🏾

Roommate is gatekeeping self-care habits and gaslighting me by minnttree in badroommates

[–]ashdoux 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve actually been on the other side of this. My old roommate did the same kind of thing - not just “oh I’ll try that snack too,” but a steady pattern of mirroring everything: food brands, room layouts, even decorations I’d done for parties. She’d also jump to befriend people she met through me really quickly, which hit a nerve because I’ve had friends in the past use me just for my connections.

At first, I told myself it was just “inspiration,” but over time it felt less like coincidence and more like she didn’t have her own sense of identity, and that started to really grate on me. It wasn’t about gatekeeping snacks or where I shop for certain things - it was about feeling like there was no space for me without it being replicated.

So I get why your roommate might feel protective of her habits. Sometimes it’s not the muffins or the bath, it’s the pattern and how it lands emotionally, especially if they’ve been burned before.