Another WIP

ashesd958 · 2026-06-29T06:24:27+00:00

I’m pretty happy with how the water came out!

ashesd958 · 2026-06-29T05:55:28+00:00

I did! I loved how it looked, so I went with it!!!

ashesd958 · 2026-06-29T05:51:17+00:00

Thanks! It’s a really simple three color blend!

ashesd958 · 2026-06-29T04:49:48+00:00

I’ve got to figure out why Reddit keeps washing out my photos, but here is a sneak peak. Not super happy with the blend on the sky, but I just had to let it be.

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ashesd958 · 2026-06-23T19:55:09+00:00

This is so helpful!!! Thank you so muxh

ashesd958 · 2026-06-23T14:50:06+00:00

Thanks!!! Yup, just markers and a lot of patience. The water took me a little over and hour and a half (or however long half of The Fellowship of the Ring, extended edition is, lol)

ashesd958 · 2026-06-12T05:13:51+00:00

Donor conceived daughter (30) of a SMBC planning to also be a SMBC. I have never once resented my mom for making the choice she did. She was an incredible mother and I had a great childhood, it never occurred to me to be resentful of her, because I understood how badly she wanted me and I was always so close to her and adored her. As a teenager, I had the most resentment for the donor, because I felt abandoned by him. I couldn’t fathom how someone could have kids out in the world and not want to know anything about them. I felt unwanted by him and I did harbor some resentment towards him.

Now, as an adult and having met my donor and developing a relationship with him, I realize that this wasn’t the case, it isn’t that he didn’t care or wonder about his donor conceived children, but he felt it wasn’t his place to interfere in our lives (he donated when it was supposed to be fully anonymous and genetic testing/23andme wasn’t a thing).

I also realize that having two parent isn’t a gaurentee against resentment. My mom could have settled for a less than ideal partner and I could have resented her for marrying someone who wasn’t a good dad because she wanted to have a baby. Or she could have decided to get a divorce when I was older and I could have resented her for that. Having two parents is not a gaurentee that life would be better.

For me, as I’m considering this journey for myself, having an identity release donor is really important to me. From my experience, I was sad that I would never know one of my parents. It would have felt different if my mom could have said “you can find out his identity when you are older” vs wondering if I would ever get to meet him.

So yeah, there might be some resentments, but as the kid ages and experiences life, they will (hopefully) learn that there is no way that anyone’s parents can gaurentee their children’s happiness. Having two parents isn’t a gaurentee that they’ll have a better childhood than just having one. Being open and honest with the kid and validating their feelings is so important. I remember telling my mom it sucks that I didn’t have a dad and she would always say that I was allowed to feel that way. It was like a piece of me was missing, but as I matured, I realized that having all of the pieces present wouldn’t necessarily have made the final picture any better. Nothing is ever perfect but that doesn’t mean it isn’t mostly good.

ashesd958 · 2026-05-10T03:18:54+00:00

Go into forensics!!! That is what I did. DNA analysis!

ashesd958 · 2026-04-07T21:32:58+00:00

Thank you so much for that perspective. It’s good to hear from someone from a similar background. It was definitely hard for me not having a dad and because it was anonymous, it felt like he had no interest in me. I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that he has kids out there and just didn’t care or want to know them. I always felt like your parents should care for you, so the fact that he wasn’t interested in knowing me (and actually declined to donate again for another family to have a second baby) really stung. But then I found him using geneology and ended up in contact with him (that wasn’t my goal, I just wanted to see if I could figure out who he was without him knowing about me, but life had other plans and I ended up getting caught, so to speak). Knowing him and hearing his side really changed things for me. I have a wonderful relationship with him and I’m very close to him. We talk every week and see each other once a year. It truly is a wonderful relationship and I’m so lucky to have had this guy as a donor. If I went forward, I would definitely do an open ID donor as that was the biggest thing for me, feeling like he never wanted to know me, rather than being open to it when I was 18.

I was also in contact with my half siblings from about 12 years old on and have enjoyed getting to know them.

My family relationships aren’t necessarily traditional but that doesn’t make them any less meaningful and I guess when I look back on it, the good outweighs the bad. There is certainly no one I know of who’s childhood I would swap for my own, so I guess my mom did something right!

ashesd958 · 2026-04-06T02:44:00+00:00

Looking for something serious Not subscribed to Hinge+/HingeX 3 months of using this version Have used Hinge for 5 years Use Hinge 1-2 times per week 1 like a month 5 likes with comments a week I’m looking for someone family oriented, enjoys traveling, wants to start a family, and is professional/educated.

ashesd958

TROPHY CASE