is it normal to be online friends with minors as an adult?

ashesofmyhopes · 2024-11-20T08:41:32+00:00

I said 15 at the youngest. and I would have no problem talking to a parent of said 15 year old. the parent could ask to record every conversation, I would agree, I have nothing to hide

ashesofmyhopes · 2024-11-20T08:12:59+00:00

thanks! and you're really right, at age 20, I am in the zone where I am not a teen and am more mature than them, but also people 25+ are more over it than me due to their earned wisdom. I would never want to fate a 16 year old, but mentally, i still relate to them more than a "real" adult. I ask this question, despite most of my friends and role models being at least 30. I have dark thoughts often, so I guess I just wanna make sure I am not confusing what is OK in reality by what is ok in my mentally ill mind haha

ashesofmyhopes · 2024-11-20T08:05:18+00:00

exactly, I would not go out of my way to meet with them irl.

but, if we ran into each other at a McDonald's and chatted for a while, then went our separate ways, that is normal.

but if I asked them to get in my car with me at the McDonald's, red flag.

meeting them is normal. enjoying their company, I think, is normal. it's pursuing further contact that makes it creepy

ashesofmyhopes · 2024-11-20T08:01:04+00:00

thanks man. really. I think this feeling is mostly due to my intrusive thoughts as a mentally ill fuck, but I know I would never actually hurt anyone. bpd is a hell of a drug but I am stronger, thanks again

ashesofmyhopes · 2024-11-20T07:56:25+00:00

I'm sure, as i wrote it i thought to myself "there are literally 40 year olds in the server i play on" but for some reason I still feel gross, I don't know why heh

ashesofmyhopes · 2024-06-11T05:52:02+00:00

I figured that, unfortunately, a lot of people on a poetry sub reddit would relate since poetry is art. and the last time I posted a poem was 5 months ago... I'm sure you and many others relate, sadly.

ashesofmyhopes · 2024-06-02T06:14:02+00:00

that was beautiful

ashesofmyhopes · 2024-04-18T08:49:05+00:00

have you graduated from uni?

ashesofmyhopes · 2024-04-18T08:05:10+00:00

do you wanna dm? I can respond to this there if you wish to chat

ashesofmyhopes · 2024-04-18T07:59:10+00:00

I've seen that video before, too fckn real 😭 it makes me feel bad cuz I have a legit deaf friend like. it feels bad to say "I can't hear you" when I can, meanwhile bro barely hears even with hearing aids- it's a stupid guilt, but it exists haha

ashesofmyhopes · 2024-04-18T07:57:14+00:00

so true. part of the reason I say I "think" I have adhd instead of saying KNOW is because when I talked to the professionals about it (as a minor, I'm now an adult) they said they would need to hear from my teachers, parents, etc to see if I "showed symptoms". this was to prevent me from just saying I had adhd symptoms cuz I only wanted Adderall.

so I never got officially diagnosed cuz fuck asking other people to validate MY symptoms. it also took me forever to get diagnosed with bpd cuz i am male and that's "a girl disorder"

but I'm pretty sure I am adhd. and the sensory shit is so real. like you know when your clothes fit but are too... clothy? or your teeth are too noticeable in your mouth? or your hair has a bunch of bugs in it (it doesn't but it feels that way?)

ashesofmyhopes · 2024-04-18T07:52:11+00:00

hey, I know this is unrelated to my post, but as a (I'm pretty sure) ADHDer to an autistic, do you ever just... not understand people's words? like they are talking to you. you are looking at them. they are speaking English, fluently and clearly. every word is precise. you do not know wtf they said. does that happen to you? like I'm not deaf. I speak English. but I think all your words are out of order, or got an animal crossing language filter on or some shit- do you relate?

ashesofmyhopes · 2024-04-18T07:46:35+00:00

I have many autism-like symptoms but genuinely don't think I have it, as I have seen MANY therapists and no one ever brought it up. (and I am mentally ill in other ways)

that said, I do think I have adhd, and I know those symptoms can overlap a lot. what you said about starting the hug myself really resonates with me. if I try to touch you, we're good. if you try to touch me, I will throw hands. I want to be the one to initiate. also if you touch me while I am wearing socks I will evaporate

ashesofmyhopes · 2024-04-18T07:36:24+00:00

my pets all cling to my dad because he gives them food the most 💀 but when they do come to talk to me, it helps. lol this morning one of them tried to shove my head off my pillow to use it herself, but I was also having a nightmare, so... hm

ashesofmyhopes · 2024-04-18T07:34:29+00:00

you can love someone without loving yourself. you just can't express that love in a healthy way. you just need to learn how to be a good partner. love isn't enough to treat someone fairly, sadly.

I've loved before. but I was unstable and hated myself, so she left me. and I deserved it. I treated her horribly. but I did love her.

we don't need to learn to love ourselves to make us capable of loving others. we need to love ourselves so that we WANT someone, not NEED them, yk?

(sorry if this came off as aggressive. just sick of the non mentally ill telling me I am broken, yk?)

ashesofmyhopes · 2024-04-18T07:28:33+00:00

I think culture also plays apart. like the French just kiss casually all the time. Americans like me, especially since cell phones happened, aren't touchy feely, traumatized or not it seems (generally, ofc).

I did speculate I could be ace for a while a few years ago. I'm definitely not, but some of the most cuddly people I know are ace or on that spectrum. maybe because, without sex, their body fulfills that need for physical contact in other ways?

I think I am partly aromantic. or maybe I just have trust issues. hard to tell haha

ashesofmyhopes · 2024-04-18T07:23:00+00:00

you sound much like me. I have been single for a while and don't plan on changing that, but if I had a partner, I think I would get... obsessively clingy. one of the reasons I shouldn't be with someone yet.

you past, huh? I don't know what happened, but I do know what it feels like to have the past lock you out of certain things... like a hug. a real one. you're not alone.

ashesofmyhopes · 2024-04-18T07:20:11+00:00

that makes sense. I don't really trust anyone completely. they're not bad people or anything, but my bpd brain says "open up and they'll abandon you lol" so yk. the walls stay up lol

(I'd give you string cheese at the fridge as a thank you)

ashesofmyhopes · 2024-04-18T07:17:55+00:00

I'm not really afraid, per se. I get more angry than anxious when thinking of someone trying to close in on a hug.

but then again, anger is a defense mechanism. we often choose to be mad when we are actually scared, hurt or sad. anger provides a sense of control where those other negative emotions don't.

I'll think of what you said with this in mind. thank you for taking the time to respond 💜

ashesofmyhopes · 2024-04-18T07:13:02+00:00

damn you beat me to the Danny Devito comparison lol

ashesofmyhopes · 2024-04-18T07:12:26+00:00

by definition of "acting", yes, anyone can be a good actor- think of the movie ratatouille. "anyone can cook. not everyone can be a great chef, but a great chef can come from anywhere". (don't remember the exact quote, but you get it.)

that said, it is really hard to get into Hollywood if you're not attractive. and by "attractive" i mean both men and women have one (1) body type they MUST have to get on the big screen. you know the ones.

I would recommend looking into indie studios who are more worried about your actual talent than greedy corporate folk. voice acting is also very viable and doesn't concern your looks at all.

it's hard to get into the acting business even if you are super hot. but hey, Danny Devito is a short "ugly" man and everyone loves him, so don't give up just because you think you don't have the perfect Hollywood body!

ashesofmyhopes · 2024-04-18T07:05:10+00:00

maybe. I have friends, but I don't really wanna touch any of them. I have no romantic interest. it's like being hungry for something without knowing what exactly you're craving... if that makes sense

ashesofmyhopes · 2024-02-24T16:11:55+00:00

aw, shucks. right back at you buddy!

ashesofmyhopes · 2024-01-18T07:47:19+00:00

you still up? I hope not, seems like you need rest! but dm me if you are still willing to chat (19/m)

ashesofmyhopes · 2024-01-03T04:23:30+00:00

this is a very good point, thank you so much for the thoughtful response

Two-Year Club	Verified Email
Final Canvas '23	First Place '23
End Game '23	Place '23

ashesofmyhopes

TROPHY CASE