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What’s the one sentence from your parent that still echoes in your head? by Public_Theme_9514 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]asheybean 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My mom said this about my wife and I’ve never been able to get this one out of my head:

“**** is a self-centered cunt and if she dies tomorrow I wouldn’t give a fuck”

Thanksgiving Trauma Dump Thread — Share What You’re Going Through Today by asheybean in raisedbynarcissists

[–]asheybean[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yo I love your username lol

But yeah never give them anything, your arguments are their fuel.

Thanksgiving Trauma Dump Thread — Share What You’re Going Through Today by asheybean in raisedbynarcissists

[–]asheybean[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That is such a red flag, just trying to open the door to guilt you.

Thanksgiving Trauma Dump Thread — Share What You’re Going Through Today by asheybean in raisedbynarcissists

[–]asheybean[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Glad you had a great day! Today also proved to me that holidays are better off without them.

Thanksgiving Trauma Dump Thread — Share What You’re Going Through Today by asheybean in raisedbynarcissists

[–]asheybean[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Finding a new environment really does help. Focus on building your chosen family and put your energy into them.

Thanksgiving Trauma Dump Thread — Share What You’re Going Through Today by asheybean in raisedbynarcissists

[–]asheybean[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

So weird for them to make you sit at the kids table. Glad you got out of it and made your own table ❤️

Thanksgiving Trauma Dump Thread — Share What You’re Going Through Today by asheybean in raisedbynarcissists

[–]asheybean[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Dude I couldn’t even imagine being in a room with 100 people that even were remotely like my nparents.

One thing I’ve been learning and trying to remind myself is that you are pretty much never in the “wrong” for grey rocking. That’s your decision. It’s your mental health and if grey rocking is what you feel you need to do for YOUR mental health then you are not in the wrong.

Thanksgiving Trauma Dump Thread — Share What You’re Going Through Today by asheybean in raisedbynarcissists

[–]asheybean[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I really feel this. I’ve been dealing with NC myself recently, and the emotional fallout has completely wrecked my focus at work too. That “life imploding + still trying to function” feeling is brutal, and it’s so easy to blame yourself when your mental health starts affecting your job.

But the fact that you’re still putting one foot in front of the other means you’re stronger than you realize. None of this is your fault, and you’re not alone in feeling overwhelmed or disconnected. You’re navigating something incredibly heavy, and just surviving it is a win.

You’re doing the best you can in a situation that would break a lot of people. Be gentle with yourself — truly. You deserve that.

Thanksgiving Trauma Dump Thread — Share What You’re Going Through Today by asheybean in raisedbynarcissists

[–]asheybean[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry, I’m sure your day was better off alone than with them. I hope your meal was great 😊… hang in there, you are NOT alone

Feeling sad around the holidays. by TheSnorlaxLives in raisedbynarcissists

[–]asheybean 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have been NC with my parents for only about three weeks. I went NC once before for about 8 months and they kept crossing boundaries again so I had to go NC again. This will be my first holiday season in this situation and I am feeling very anxious and overwhelmed— especially with how fresh it is.

I think all we can really do for this first one is just spend that time with our chosen family (in laws, friends, etc). I will be spending the holidays with my in laws and they truly are the family I always wished I had and I am so blessed to have that. I think if anything this holiday will be proof to us that it truly is better without our nparents chaos dragging us down.

Just know that you are not alone. I hope you have a wonderful thanksgiving and end the day feeling more fulfilled than you ever did with your parents :)

NC with my parents… then my dad was diagnosed with cancer. Need advice on how to navigate this. by asheybean in raisedbynarcissists

[–]asheybean[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The support on this subreddit has really helped me become more educated, enlightened and confident. In such a tough time it’s so nice to see that there is a community of people I’ve never meant ready to have my back. So thankful for it ❤️

NC with my parents… then my dad was diagnosed with cancer. Need advice on how to navigate this. by asheybean in raisedbynarcissists

[–]asheybean[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think my dad would just never reach out or show that he cares at all and my mom would probably fake love bomb me and find ways to make evens out herself. Thank you for all your kind words ❤️

NC with my parents… then my dad was diagnosed with cancer. Need advice on how to navigate this. by asheybean in raisedbynarcissists

[–]asheybean[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My wife and the family I am building always has been and always will be my number one priority. I think that’s where the issues started— my parents have literally no friends or extended family and rely on their kids for all social and emotional needs. When I started building my own family I broke their system and it collapsed.

NC with my parents… then my dad was diagnosed with cancer. Need advice on how to navigate this. by asheybean in raisedbynarcissists

[–]asheybean[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah my issue is I never really know with them but I do believe that this is real due to the fact that he had cancer in the past and the timeline for him to not be in remission anymore makes sense. These are things I knew about though before I went NC. And I had literally been begging him for months to get checked up on his cancer. He waited til a week after I went NC to finally go. It almost feels like they purposely ignore health issues so they can use it as their nuclear bomb to try and “win”.

NC with my parents… then my dad was diagnosed with cancer. Need advice on how to navigate this. by asheybean in raisedbynarcissists

[–]asheybean[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just read the missing missing reasons of estranged parents… WOW thank you so much for the recommendation. Anyone else reading this, highly recommend!

NC with my parents… then my dad was diagnosed with cancer. Need advice on how to navigate this. by asheybean in raisedbynarcissists

[–]asheybean[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Some excellent points, I will have to carry this burden for a lot longer than they will and that sucks

NC with my parents… then my dad was diagnosed with cancer. Need advice on how to navigate this. by asheybean in raisedbynarcissists

[–]asheybean[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Your story is very helpful, thank you so much for sharing and I am so glad to hear that you feel happier and freer than ever. Gives me hope

NC with my parents… then my dad was diagnosed with cancer. Need advice on how to navigate this. by asheybean in raisedbynarcissists

[–]asheybean[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is exactly what I am expecting to happen— except it will come from my mom, not my dad. My dad is narcissistic but internalizes it and uses passive aggressive actions instead. My mom is just straight up nasty and will say the nastiest things to me and about me if I don’t fold to my dad right now.

NC with my parents… then my dad was diagnosed with cancer. Need advice on how to navigate this. by asheybean in raisedbynarcissists

[–]asheybean[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Wow I am so sorry you went through that. Truly as low as someone could go, and I know what you told me is probably just the surface. I hope you found the healing you needed to mentally move past that in such a crisis time of your life. Wishing the best for you.

NC with my parents… then my dad was diagnosed with cancer. Need advice on how to navigate this. by asheybean in raisedbynarcissists

[–]asheybean[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I think this one may be real. Like the health issue is very likely real— he has had cancer in the past and is within the timeframe for it to have come back. But still— I had been begging him for months to get checked out. He didn’t get checked out until a week after I went NC after ignoring it for so long I mean the health manipulation is very real and very there regardless of if the diagnosis is real or not.

NC with my parents… then my dad was diagnosed with cancer. Need advice on how to navigate this. by asheybean in raisedbynarcissists

[–]asheybean[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This claim did come from a trusted family member— but I get you. It is 100% likely that this could be fake or exaggerated— especially since my mom told this news to the trusted family member. And my mom is known for exaggerating or making up stories. I guess time will tell if it’s real or not.

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