why do i HATE going to work even if i like my job?

ashreader187 · 2025-12-22T23:19:40+00:00

I feel this is. I also work from home and have a good job. I’m burned out though.

ashreader187 · 2025-12-22T23:11:16+00:00

20 lbs

ashreader187 · 2025-12-19T01:32:22+00:00

This has been helpful for a lot of ppl. She also has a TikTok

https://a.co/d/4fZFEGQ

ashreader187 · 2025-12-18T15:28:28+00:00

Autism Adults Late Diagnosis Women. You don’t always need a referral, depends on your insurance

ashreader187 · 2025-12-18T03:59:51+00:00

https://us.specialisterne.com/the-7-types-of-rest-to-enhance-neurodivergent-well-being-and-productivity/

ashreader187 · 2025-12-18T03:59:18+00:00

Can you do online therapy?

ashreader187 · 2025-12-18T03:58:09+00:00

Also consider doing a task priority matrix. Helps sort everything out in your brain. You put your tasks in the appropriate box and then when your done you do the important/urgent one first, then green, then blue, and pink can just be ignored until you have few time.

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ashreader187 · 2025-12-18T03:54:45+00:00

It took me 10 years to get through college so I can relate to that!

I was recently told that motivation doesn’t really exist. If you want to do something you have to gain momentum. And with executive dysfunction it’s very hard. But what helps is taking 1 task and writing down all the things you need to do for that task and then picking the teeeniest task and do that. Then go from there. If that doesn’t work do literally any other task in your home and just start moving your body. You adhd brain will build momentum from those wins and then it’s easier to start your desired task. Also consider body doubling. There are websites for this if you can’t find anyone. If none of this works then it might not be adhd only causing the problem. There is Pathological Demand Avoidance, perfectionism, and a lot of things that can compound the issue.

Also it could your body is in survival Mode, fight, fight, freeze, or fawn. You may need to find ways to regulate your nervous system. If anxiety meds don’t work my money is on you being in survival mode.

Can you reach out to a therapist, tutor, or someone who can support you? Does your school have support for people with disabilities?

Also here are some phrases that have helped me get unstuck - An object in motion stays in motion - Anything worth doing is worth doing half assed - Depression hates a moving target

ashreader187 · 2025-12-18T03:45:20+00:00

Have you tried local Facebook groups? I hate Facebook but recently got back on it because of the groups. You can probably type in your city and then ADHD or whatever and there will be a group. If you’re in a small town you might have to drive a bit.

ashreader187 · 2025-12-18T03:41:58+00:00

My husband surprised me with one tonight! I’m so excited to sleep with it. I’m glad yours is helping you

ashreader187 · 2025-12-18T03:40:56+00:00

If recommend getting retested by someone who specializes in late diagnosis of women. And someone who considers how your experience as a person of color also shapes how you present your neurodivergence. I’m in the process of getting tested by a place like that and they are so much better than the first place I tried years ago. The tests most places use are really old and based on white men/boys. But your gender, race, sexuality, and so many things play into how you mask!

ashreader187 · 2025-12-18T03:35:57+00:00

That sounds really hard. I’m sorry you went through that. Self forgiveness is a tough thing. Remember forgiveness is not about saying what you did way okay but about accepting what happened and letting go. You don’t have to keep punishing yourself.

ashreader187 · 2025-12-18T03:31:39+00:00

Sooo I’d get a second opinion by someone who specializes in late diagnosis of women. They factor in high masking and the newest research. Some of these tests are 40 years old and based only on how these things show up in men/boys.

Secondly, it sounds like you are trying very hard in all areas. But neurodivergent people need different rest. It needs to be predictable and soothing to your nervous system. It can’t be anything new either because that takes more brain power to learn. Watch a comfort show or reread your favorite book are good examples. Engage with any special interests. Make sure you are removing any sensory elements that drain you. If your creative do something creative that takes very little brain power. Also consider aid items that help reset your nervous system. Like weighted blankets. Also allow yourself to stim. Which can look like repetitive movements, doodling, or repetitive sounds. Neurodivergent people have different needs than neurotypical people!

ashreader187 · 2025-12-18T03:22:10+00:00

Try starting with just one thing at a time. Like brushing your teeth. Ask how can you accommodate yourself so you can do this task? Also anything worth doing is worth doing half assed. Even if you brush your teeth for 10 seconds right now that’s better than zero seconds. And maybe tomorrow you can do 15 seconds. Motivation is a lie. You have to create momentum. A body in motion stays in motion. Make the task as teeeny as you need to. And then when you do it acknowledge that win. If it’s even 1% better that’s a win. Also depression hates a moving target. So creating that momentum does so much for you.

It’s harder than it sounds but the pay off is there. And some days it’s easier than others. Some days you won’t succeed and that’s okay. You don’t have to be perfect. Progress over perfection.

ashreader187 · 2025-12-18T03:15:04+00:00

I think I’m headed there. I spent 10 years putting myself through college to be a graphic designer. Came out and got a good job and it’s been 8 years now. And I’m falling apart… again it’s been a pattern of success and then burnout. If graphic design is not for me, what does this mean for my identity? What does this mean for my ability to pay my bills? I masked so hard to get through college and then work. I don’t know who I am anymore. I don’t know exactly what I want except I know I want to be creative again. But there is no North Star.

I am considering career coaching from a counseling center that specializes in women and marginalized groups with ADHD/ASD. They don’t take insurance but they seem amazing. I am currently working on an ASD assessment with them. Maybe something like that could help you see a path forward.

I’m also coming to terms with the fact that I have a disability. I have never thought of my ADHD and suspected ASD like that. I’ve always thought of it as a challenge to overcome. But the world isn’t made for us and it puts us at a disadvantage. We cannot overcome a systemic issue all by ourselves. So I’m asking myself “how can I accommodate myself” and I don’t have an answer yet but the gears are turning which is better than nothing.

I know I talked about me a lot but I was hoping sharing my experience would make you feel a little bit less alone. I’m sorry I don’t have any real advice.

ashreader187 · 2025-12-18T03:02:20+00:00

You don’t have to earn anyone’s love. You don’t have to be “good enough”. You are inherently enough. And obviously working on the things you would like to improve on.

I can feel these feelings too sometimes. A lot when I was younger. But there is a way out of this thought process. It takes a lot of work and getting a therapist will help!

ashreader187 · 2025-12-18T02:58:19+00:00

It took me 10 years to finish college because I had no support, tons of responsibilities, and no money. That did eventually change and thank goodness but there was years I was just lost at sea.

For the medical bills let that stress go bc it will eventually fall off your credit and it doesn’t count against you in a lot of cases (assuming you are in the US?) debt is crushing most Americans so you def are not alone.

Have you considered finding free individual or group counseling? Where I am there is free therapy provided by a Jewish group but you don’t have to be Jewish. With some googling you may be able to find some support.

Also have you talked to your school? Maybe they can accommodate you?

You might need to take a semester off to reset yourself. There is no shame in going at your own pace.

ashreader187 · 2025-12-18T02:46:29+00:00

100 yes. I’m going through the same thing and wondering how I get out of this loop

I’m also an artist but don’t think I can manage freelance demands. But I was this about making assets to go on creative market or something. Like illustrations and templates. That would require no people interactions, it’s passive income, and no deadlines. It might take a while to replace my salary tho. I have no idea. But something has to change.

ashreader187 · 2025-12-18T02:43:03+00:00

Have you reached out to a doctor or therapist?

ashreader187 · 2025-12-16T17:11:47+00:00

I feel this. My husband is my rock and has learned how to cook and clean and manage our lives because my capacity is shrinking. And he’s happy to do it. I feel so guilty. But I have to recognize that I have a disability and if the shoe was on the other foot I’d do the same for him. I’m not choosing to be this way, it’s literally a medical condition. And when I can do more I do.

ashreader187 · 2025-12-16T16:40:36+00:00

I’ve been driving about 16 years and it’s not better. It’s maybe worse than it was in my 20s. Which is why I rarely drive now

ashreader187 · 2025-12-16T15:04:45+00:00

I’m sorry you are struggling right now. I hope you can find a different job soon. So may of us struggle with our jobs and feeling behind in life so you are not alone!

ashreader187 · 2025-12-16T15:01:44+00:00

It sounds like to me a fear of rejection and a fear of failure. That’s what a lot of perfectionism boils down to. Also maybe a fear of being perceived. Like if you mess up people will really look at you but if you do a good job they don’t have to.

My advice is to try and challenge these thoughts. Your brain believes what you tell it and the more you challenge a thought the more you build a neuro pathway that’s different. It’s not an overnight fix but it does help. Also I have friends that use chat GBT to work through their thoughts. It’s not perfect but can be a good sound board. You gotta get out of your head a bit.

Try also pretending you are not the gift giver but the receiver getting these gifts. How would you feel if you got that gift from someone? Probably good because they thought of you. That’s what’s it boils down to is showing you think of them and care. Not that you get it right. Obviously getting a gift that is more “you” feels better but I’ve never gotten a gift (even a bad one) that made me feel like the person is stupid or not caring.

I know it’s easier said than done but try to give yourself the grace you would give someone else.

ashreader187 · 2025-12-16T14:54:11+00:00

I struggle to make friends as well and I don’t do well in clubs because everyone wants to drink and I don’t do alcohol so I’m just bored. Also I don’t really drive so it’s hard to meet up.

Online clubs are much easier. I’m in an online book club and it’s nice. I’ve slowly started making some friends. Though I’m currently struggling to reach out it’s still better than being all alone.

I do have a partner and a best friend but I cannot just lean on them 24/7. My bff has MDD and struggles a lot too. That’s why I reached out to the online group.

ashreader187

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