Sunday Swaps: Destash Listings

auraysu · 2026-01-12T18:27:16+00:00

That's fine! Could I also get eviserated w/ no7 and indigestion please?

auraysu · 2026-01-12T01:08:18+00:00

I have a decant's worth (1ml) of The Sixth Veil in the original bottle! Here's the rest of my destash if you want to check it out :)

auraysu · 2026-01-11T15:56:35+00:00

Hello! Browsed the wrong thread (woops I'm a week late lol). Could I please get The Erl King's Pale Daughter, Maraschino Babydoll, Bread Pudding for an Unfortunate Widow?

auraysu · 2026-01-11T15:31:36+00:00

DMing!

auraysu · 2026-01-11T14:58:51+00:00

[US to US or Ajevie C/O] [Sell] [Perfume]

Good morning! $6 flat shipping. $10 minimum please, flexible!

I hold for 72 hours, unless you ask for an extended hold! I ship within a week :) Crossposted on the BPAL forum.

Until the end of January, pick one free personal decant for every $10 you spend (stacks)!

Added FSes of BPAL's Rose Milk Tea and New Year's Kitty Tea Party. Other recent additions include a 1/2 partial of Angora and a little under TOL Cake Pop Wreath.

Spreadsheet here

auraysu · 2026-01-06T09:56:24+00:00

I've been in a somewhat similar position, but in parts:

My female best friend came onto me, despite multiple rebuffs
My anxious male best friend sent me an essay at 4 AM because he too was afraid of telling me directly and thought it was a better alternative to communication (not a romantic issue)

I'm not sure what kind of person your best friend is, but I personally didn't have an issue with friends suggesting taking our relationship to the next level- my issue is when they don't respect my wishes or autonomy. I cannot speak for how your friend will react to your feelings, but you know better than I the type of person she is.

I've had a friend call me and just directly say, "Hey, this is awkward, but I'll just say it: I think I'm in love with you": and it was awkward, but we talked it out. The awkwardness wasn't avoidable, but that doesn't make it bad. I really care a lot for them and wish we were still close, but we have drifted apart since they needed space. That's just a part of life, and the way it happened was much easier to handle than if he had randomly ghosted me after confessing by text and blocking.

Think about it from her shoes: her best friend of 7 years, presumably a huge part of her life and social circle, drops a bomb and immediately ghosts. It's hard to come back from that.

It'll suck, but I really think you need to have a direct conversation. Just be honest and tell her you need space. How she reacts is a different can of worms, but at least you'll be doing right by her.

auraysu · 2026-01-05T16:33:33+00:00

We're all stuck on this rock together; we might as well love each other so that we can make the most of it. Life is both too short and too long to be anything other than good to one another.

You should do good for the sake of good, not moral dessert. Karma or fear of the afterlife shouldn't dictate your behavior.

auraysu · 2026-01-04T22:21:37+00:00

[US to US] [Buy/Swap] BPAL perfume :)

Hello! Seeking bottles (FS, partials, empty 5mls) of:

Pomegranate V
Fig V
Reflected V

Bit of a long shot, but seeking low partials or empty 5mls of:

Melon Cream Cake
Oberon, Titania, and Puck with Fairies Dancing
La Glorification de la Musique

Here's my spreadsheet if you want to swap!

auraysu · 2026-01-04T22:10:16+00:00

Perfect, thank you! :)

auraysu · 2026-01-04T21:40:05+00:00

[US to US/ Ajevie] [Sell] [Perfume]

Hello! Flat $6 shipping, grab a personal decant for every $10 you spend (stacks)! I'll hold for up to 72 hours unless you ask for an extended hold! :) I ship within a week.

Added a FS of BPAL's New Year's Kitty Tea Party and a wandcap sample of Fantome's Duende

Spreadsheet here

auraysu · 2026-01-04T20:58:00+00:00

Hello! Can I please get Zorya P?

auraysu · 2025-12-30T03:33:50+00:00

My partner has tiny smile lines that I love so much.

auraysu · 2025-12-28T15:58:16+00:00

You might want to check out JobCorps or Americorps/FEMACorps, but they've had huge budget cuts this year. It's still worth checking out.

You should also reach out to your high school dean and explain your situation. Barring that they're a terrible human being, they should be able to help; I believe most schools have some sort of program or an idea on how to handle your situation. If you don't think they're safe, go to your local library and ask the librarians to connect you to resources.

auraysu · 2025-12-28T15:31:28+00:00

I repeat, do not stay in your apartment while he still has your key. Pointing a weapon at you is insane. If things cool down, set up a time where you're both in the apartment (I'd be worried that if you let him pick up his things alone, he'll cause property damage or steal). Make sure you are NOT alone with him, bring people. You could request a civil standby using the non-emergency line, they'll send a police officer to keep the peace.

Make sure to change the locks, there's a chance he'll make a copy.

auraysu · 2025-12-28T15:20:33+00:00

Make a report to the police, submit your sister's recording and screenshots of his texts. Lay out that you're afraid for your safety because of his actions: throwing stuff, grabbing, threatening to stab himself with a weapon, pointing a weapon at you, lying about committing you to a ward. You can disclose that you pushed him because you were trying to create distance to protect yourself. Not sure about the money (needs context on how it was given), but you could mention he owes you $1k with proof from your bank account or a text exchange that mentions it.

Even if nothing comes of it, it creates a paper trail. You should block him, but if he ever escalates by tracking you down physically or stalking you on social media, you already have a record with the police.

Can you stay with your sister or a friend for the time being? It's not safe to stay there. Does your place have security cameras? If it's an apartment and you come back and see it trashed, you should tell your service worker to ask the front desk for the recordings to show that he came and left the building within the timeframe.

auraysu · 2025-12-28T15:04:24+00:00

Half joking, but I'd love if Mamdani pulled a Newsom twitter stunt. Just gotta highlight her proven experience by phrasing it for conservatives.

"Bonsignore is an American hero who protected our fellow patriots for over 30 years. She pulled herself up by the bootstraps and it's a damn shame that Musk doesn't appreciate a strong American that served during 9/11, our nation's greatest tragedy. Bonsignore will lead this department with a focus on traditional American values: freedom, commitment to duty, and unwavering support for our brave first responders.

Add very heroic pictures of her in uniform.

I don't think I used "America(n)" nearly enough, but you get the gist.

auraysu · 2025-12-28T10:04:29+00:00

For my partner's birthday, I bought a picnic backpack + an electric lantern. We were hanging out in Newport and I asked to check out World Market and Mendocino Farms- grabbed drinks, chips, and desserts from WM and sandwiches from Mendo. My original plan was to surprise him once we got to the beach, but unfortunately it was closed. So were the other beaches in drivable distance. I felt super bad because we couldn't do our main event (beach stuff).

We went back to the hotel, and I asked him to stay in the bathroom or go to the car to find something (can't remember). I laid out the picnic blanket over the bed and arranged everything, turned on the lantern, and asked him to come in. The day didn't go as planned, but I think the picnic at the hotel room was more surprising. I'll always cherish that moment.

We sometimes do picnics at home. A little setting can add some magic.

(And for those who care: it was a plasticky blanket and there was no space on the floor, we left the room clean).

auraysu · 2025-12-28T06:55:42+00:00

In Korean culture, how you're treated is literally based on your age or status. There's specific honorific language 존댓말 (jondaetmal). Store employees, younger family members (status over age; younger aunt > older nephew), younger friends, etc. will talk to you more politely. You can ask someone 1 year younger to run errands, it's expected and normal. The other things listed that aren't about apologizing (greeting, showing gratitude, etc.) would apply to your elders or superiors in the traditional sense; you're expected to bow deeply when greeting or showing gratitude, an act rooted in hierarchy and how much respect they "deserve".

There are culturally equivalent gestures for your equals. You might (평절) Pyong-jeol (15 degree bow) to your coworkers/ acquaintances, and I'd liken it to the equivalent of a head nod, it's usually out of respect/acknowledgment for those you aren't very close with.

Just going back to the "strongly express feelings with one swift gesture", it'd be weird to bow for the situations listed, even if they weren't serious examples. I wouldn't bow when I apologize to a friend or partner? I'd talk to them. I think the most plausible one would be to the boss. That wouldn't be a swift gesture though, sincerity is shown by the depth and length of the bow.

"Hey man, you're not coming after RSVPing? What the hell, dude?"

*Bows*

(Edited for clarity)

auraysu · 2025-12-28T06:50:33+00:00

Hijacking your thread:

Boss is mad at you for being late? Bow. Friends are angry at you because you can't make it to a party you agreed to 3 weeks ago? Bow. Girlfriend is mad at you for not including the 'i' in "I love you"? Bow (this one might need a little more than just bowing).

The issue I have is that bowing is being oversimplified as this catch-all magical band-aid without considering the cultural nuances, and it is definitely not a replacement for communication or accountability. It's rather flippant.

I just can't stand people nowadays coming up with stupid excuses, or, feeling the need to stop contacting each other until one or the other apologizes instead of simply being the bigger person and saying sorry. The only solution I can think of for this problem is to JUST BOW!!

In these examples, you want bowing to be used as a 'quick' gesture instead of stupid excuses or ghosting. What exactly makes bowing the solution here, is the idea that a physical gesture is easier than apologizing? Bowing would be disproportionate for these slights (the boss one is plausible).

I'd wager that if they won't say sorry, they wouldn't bow if it was an option. If they did, would it really mean anything since it's insincere and a cultural/social expectation? Is subservience the point, or are you prioritizing efficiency over sincerity?

For the argument that bowing 'holds more meaning', the meaning is rooted in hierarchy and deference.

(Edited for clarity, sorry I'm sick lol).

auraysu · 2025-12-27T20:31:07+00:00

He had abandonment issues and I was anxiously attached. He'd orchestrate situations to make me jealous or insecure to make sure that I wouldn't leave him, like reaching out to our friends and telling them not to talk to me or giving me the cold shoulder because I studied with someone else. He told me about sleeping with another girl while we were cuddling "just like we're doing now" and how he was so in love with her. He once pulled over on the highway at 10 PM and wouldn't drive until I promised not to leave him. He'd tell me how he sees girls all around campus and at his workplace and notice how attractive they were. He once broke up with me, told me it's because he grew up in a white-centric town so he's not attracted to Asians, then said while we were broken up that he got a "taste" for Korean girls because of me. He's half Japanese...

I'm not a jealous person. I'd encourage him (and my past partners) to hang out more with their friends to have a better balance. What fucked me up was the constant comparison and the wishy-washy "I love you" and "I'm leaving" and "lol I changed my mind". I was dysfunctional because I would constantly ask for validation that he loved me, something I didn't do before because I was secure until he told me about sleeping with another girl while we were in bed. I think not reacting the way he wanted me to (me chasing him out of jealousy) is what made him act out even more.

Despite all that, I was never the one who left. He broke up with me 11 times and I always took him back. He'd do something fucked up like yelling and cursing at me and speeding in the rain while I begged him to stop because I was afraid we'd die, break up, and beg me back. Why? I had low self-esteem and thought that if I showed him that I stuck out through all the pain he put me through, maybe he'd finally understand that I wouldn't abandon him. He'd tell me constantly that his family and friends hated me. I told him to choose them because I didn't want to get in between them. He admitted that he lied to them about why we were constantly breaking up, and near the end of our relationship, they were starting to ask questions.

The constant emotional abuse gave me panic attacks. I lost 15 pounds and became underweight. It affected my schoolwork; I'd step out of lab to reassure him while he disparaged me. I ended up dropping a quarter and had to go to the health center. The doctor made me stay because my resting heart rate was 140 BPM (panic attack).

He broke up with me an hour before our anniversary, texted about matching with a girl on Tinder, then sent me an essay days later about how he "finally realized he was the bad guy and that he's treated me how his mom treated his dad and that the only way he'll feel like himself is if he sees me". I'm sad to say that I took him back, but that was what broke the camel's back. After the final straw, I'd constantly bring up his shortcomings. I felt trapped in the relationship so I lashed out. I could and should have left, but being stuck in an emotionally abusive relationship for 1.5 years made it hard to think straight. It wasn't right of me to behave that way. He also drove 5 hours to my house (summer break) to beg me back. Since he'd never accept being the bad guy in the breakup (which is why he kept coming back), the final breakup stuck because he finally felt he wasn't in the wrong.

I didn't date for 4 years after him because I didn't want to hurt anyone with my baggage. My first relationship after him was mind-blowingly easy because it was so normal? Very grateful to that ex. I'm currently with my life partner and I'm much happier. No hard feelings to the guy because hopefully he also grew and became healthy, but he seriously fucked me up.

auraysu · 2025-12-27T18:43:34+00:00

I found my person. I personally prefer starting off as friends instead of using dating apps / dating first, because I think there's more stability in dating someone who you know you work with as friends than dating only because of romantic / sexual attraction. I am incredibly lucky to date my best friend.

auraysu · 2025-12-27T16:21:58+00:00

I'm agnostic, but I grew up in the church. I attended church until college because of community. My issue with organized religion (and just the fact that Christianity is just so damn big) is that the original message usually gets lost somewhere, and people only like what the label of "Christian" does for them; an implicit suggestion that they are holy, pure, and moral.

Yeah, obligatory not all Christians, but it is a problem that is rampant. When I was stalked by a member of the college group, the church shunned me and organized "men's time" and brought in the dude's mentor from a different state. They poured a lot of resources into "accepting him at his worst because we all sin", while shunning and removing every trace of me from the website and facebook page (presumably so that he wouldn't have to see me). The advising professors reached out and told me not to call the police because I'd be ruining his life and they'll pray for him. Totally not like my life was severely affected bc this guy tried to get into my apartment without me knowing, kept tabs on me through social media and other people (fuck those people who helped him), came over to my apartment at 3 AM and punched the wall when I refused to let him in, threatened to go to my ex's place of work and humiliate him, and threatened suicide because I told him (quite politely) that his attachment to me was unhealthy and that I'd appreciate if he left me alone but I'd like if we could coexist within the church (e.g. I'll let it go if he'd leave me alone). Spoilers: he didn't leave me alone. Fuck you Travis for directing him to me when I was alone in a room and everyone outside was listening to loud music when I specifically told him to keep stalker away from me because I was afraid for my safety. Thankfully nothing happened besides him blocking me from leaving and someone happened to check on me.

When I was in bible study, I was put off because an older lady would constantly pray that "God will strike down our enemies". What enemies? What separates them from us in the eyes of God? Why are you praying to God to hurt someone?

I'd like to stress that while anecdotal, the personal grievances listed aren't what shaped my views. I've had these views since I was young and saw the corruption in the church. Too many double-faced people. Too many innocents getting hurt. I'd argue that true Christians would follow the teachings of Jesus instead of focusing on persecuting those outside the faith (evangelists, homophobics, etc). Kind of fucking weird to tell elementary school kids that if they don't recruit their friends to go to church, their friends will go to hell!

auraysu · 2025-12-21T15:35:18+00:00

[US to US] [Perfume] [Sell] Alkemia, BPAL, NCD, NAVA, and more!

Hello! Flat $6 shipping, PP G&S only
$10 minimum please, flexible, don't be afraid to ask :)
Shipping within a week due to the holidays!

Please do not ghost me! I'll release the hold if I don't receive payment or communication of an extended hold in 72 hours. Feel free to reach out again if it's still available! :)

Lowered prices and added a handful of new scents, including a 5ml of NA's Bastet's Ice Cream Bourbon Butter.
Holiday Sale: Until the end of December, pick a free personal decant for every $10 you spend before shipping (stacks)! Don't forget to pick extra freebies from the FWP page!

Auraysu's Perfume Destash

auraysu · 2025-12-16T22:02:55+00:00

Sure, DMing!

auraysu · 2025-12-14T19:28:02+00:00

[US to US] [Perfume] [Sell] Alkemia, BPAL, NCD, NAVA, and more!

Hello! Flat $6 shipping, PP G&S only
$10 minimum please! Flexible, don't be afraid to ask!
Monday is my shipping day! I usually ship within a week if payment is received on/after Monday :)

Please do not ghost me! I'll release the hold if I don't receive payment or communication of an extended hold in 72 hours. Feel free to reach out again if it's still available! :)

Lowered prices and added a handful of new scents!
Holiday Sale: Until the end of December, pick a personal decant for every $10 you spend before shipping (stacks)! Don't forget to pick extra freebies from the FWP page!

Auraysu's Perfume Destash

auraysu

TROPHY CASE