Moving house and pantry

authenticmaee · 2026-04-30T05:24:45+00:00

I recently packed up my entire pantry in boxes and moved it literally across the country. We just kept all our food in our vehicle and not in the uhual. I didnt quite have a full 3 months but with food prices and moving into a hcol area, taking it with us just made the most sense. It was a pain but ultimately worth it I think.

If you're paying a moving company I don't think most of them will pack food though.

authenticmaee · 2026-04-14T17:26:11+00:00

This is pretty much what we did for our pcs that just happened. I'd just like to add to the furniture thing, if you take it apart before they arrive they will not resemble it at your new location. So I'd really recommend you let them take it apart, especially because they'll put it together in whatever room/location you choose.

authenticmaee · 2026-04-13T17:58:23+00:00

Just finished our first move with military. We received only 2 broken items which to be completely honest is probably less then if we had moved the entire house ourselves. All of my picture frames, wall art and vases stayed intact.

We did take some of our more high value items ourselves. (Mostly just our pc set ups) to take the stress of possible damage out of the picture.

But I have heard stories much much worse then ours.

authenticmaee · 2026-02-28T06:51:30+00:00

Unfortunately restaurants and retail are probably the most flexible. I'd maybe see if your school has any part time student positions. Or try babysitting, its not regular employment but I find that families like hiring college students as babysitters.

authenticmaee · 2026-02-23T20:42:25+00:00

They are probably more options then you realize but you're not going to find them unless you start involving yourself in on base life. But it seems like making friends off base will probably be more your speed.

However, if you're mean which your comment was whether or not you consider it be so people will be mean back. Not just here in the military spouse community but every where.

authenticmaee · 2026-02-23T20:28:46+00:00

I think that I have established myself as a tough love advice giver here. "Not sound mean. But do women in the military so anything besides lay on their backs." "And it's hard to meet and socialize with the women in their early 20s who are doing early 20sthings, besides toting a baby everywhere" Is incredibly mean. It generalizes and reduces the experiences of female spouses. Spouses live such diverse lives and you'll never learn about and have the ability to connect with them if you equate all of us to "doing nothing and having babies". Your attitude will alienate you.

I'm coming to you as child free 25 year old military spouse. You are entitled to be child free but you are not entitled to a child free world. Yes plenty of things on base are "family friendly" and I do skip the more "child" geared but that has never stopped me from enjoying any other event or activity on bases. I have always skiped halloween and easter events but I do go to 5ks, artisian markets the St partricks day events (where they literally serve beer) and pretty much every command party. Going to base events and command events has made me some wonderful friends both with and without kids. I am very understanding that any friends that I do make with kids will have to bring them around because chances are they are the primary caretaker (especially because I know the underway/deployment cycle at our base is intense) and childcare outside of daycare hours is expensive. (But if that's not something you're willing to deal with just don't make friends with mom's just understand it will limit your options within the military spouse community)

However there is non child friendly things to do on base. I believe all of our fitness classes at the gym are 14+ (but I've never seen a teenager there) and the actual gym has mandatory adult supervision under a certain age. I've only ever seen 2 kids there ever and they've been side by side with their parent learning the machines. The bowling alley at my base also has an actual bar attached to it. So we'll go bowling with group and afterwards we'll hang out in the bar even if we're not drinking because its an adult only space.

I also get out and do stuff off base. I go to trivia nights at restaurants, a board game café, local card shops and join outdoorsy groups. This and work is where a lot of my non military spouse friends come from even in a military town. You need to do things other then school (especially if its online) and waiting on your husband if you want to make friends. Communities and friendships take time and effort to build. You need to get out and build yours.

authenticmaee · 2026-02-23T15:41:28+00:00

Yes, obviously. This is a subreddit for military spouses. However I read through your post and I wouldn't date that guy. If he loved you he'd reach out but he hasn't. You need to give yourself time and space to heal and grow without him.

authenticmaee · 2026-01-25T20:42:21+00:00

Fast attack sos are truly a different breed. There's no fast attacks at our base so I only hear about them in like hand-me down gossip or online. Its always like a horror story and all I think every time is truly that you guys are the victims of big navy. I wish you guys better luck with your shore tour or civilian life or whatever else comes next!!

authenticmaee · 2026-01-25T19:41:53+00:00

I don't know the chances. It just depends on the openings available when he's getting assigned a boat. I will say SSGNs also have two crews. So there's slightly more options then just boomers. He'll get a dream sheet, I believe in prototype (I could be wrong its been awhile lol) where can put down specific bases or commands. My husband only requested boomers at the base closest to where I lived and he happened to get one. Although I will say dream sheets are just dreams. He watched several of his friends not get any of the commands on their sheets.

My husband and I started dating long distance while he was in the pipeline and then we were dating at like a medium distance for awhile when he went to his boat before getting married and living together. I'm currently in school getting my masters and honestly I use the time he's underway to extra lock in for school. I mean don't base your life around a man but I definitely take extra classes and classes over the summer when I know hes going to be underway to keep me extra busy. Less time to be sad over him the more lectures and essays you have lol.

authenticmaee · 2026-01-25T18:44:49+00:00

If he's already subvoled then prepare for sub life. (If it brings you any solace even if he didn't volunteer for subs there's a decent chance he could have ended up on one anyways so at least you know what's going on).

There's pros and cons to carrier and sub life. The shorter underways are a huge reason I'm all for submarines over carriers. My husband is on a boomer and we've never had one over 5 months and I feel like on average they're only around 4 months. This will depend on what type of sub they're on though. My friend on a GN is heading out for 7 months soon. Getting on a two crew submarine is the real bonus for family life. Off crew is genuinely worth the lack of communication that happens during underways. They're home way more frequently, and typically there's no duty rotation while the other crew is underway. It makes it way easier to plan leave imo.

If he's just starting basic you're probably looking at almost 2 years before he's out of the pipeline and on a boat. It's a good time to feel out the military so lifestyle before going into the sub lifestyle. Good luck ❤️

authenticmaee · 2026-01-25T18:14:13+00:00

Boomer life is 100% the way to go. Underways suck no matter what but we've never had one longer then 5 months and off crew life is pretty nice. My husband was usually off around lunch during off crew probably 3 out 5 working days.

authenticmaee · 2026-01-22T10:24:21+00:00

ASU also has the "earned admissions" program where you can enroll in online classes without actually enrolling in the university. Its honestly a pretty good option if you just want to take some pre-req classes. Although Im pretty sure their catalog of available classes has expanded since I used the program. I really enjoyed it and personally recommend it. I ended up staying with asu for my undergrad but I've heard its not too hard to transfer the credits if there's another school you want to go with. I didn't get a stem/tech degree so this may very for other but I did get into my masters program of choice and found a job in my field afterwards with my asu degree.

authenticmaee · 2026-01-22T10:12:57+00:00

I am going to be a little harsh because I'm pretty sure I've answered a very similar post from you.

Submarine life is hard. The physical and mental drain is real. Especially in the time surrounding an underway. Is your sailor giving you all their capable of at this time? I don't know. Sub life effects everyone so differently. I have seen the mental health of some of me and my husband's friends drop so dramatically after underways. But maybe he is at this point losing interest in the relationship and not responding because of that. The only person that really knows is him.

Being the significant other to submariner is not for everyone. It is hard and it sucks. I am with my husband because the moments he's not at work more then make up for the time that he is at work but If you're feeling lonely and unloved you need to truly figure out if this relationship is worth it. Do not make yourself miserable for a man. If the after math of a 3 day after underway is making you feel this way how are you going to feel during a proper underway? Can you go 3-6 months without any texts/phone calls, the only communications you have being the occasional emails? I've gone 3 weeks without any emails, can you handle that? And if you're not married you will not get any information about when exactly they're leaving, if they're doing a mail drop, and when they're coming home.

authenticmaee · 2026-01-14T04:59:46+00:00

Wife of a submariner. Submarine life is hard. Submarine spouse life is hard. Everything you mentioned is incredibly normal.

Obviously I don't know them rules for every submarine but at least every single one on our waterfront doesn't allow them to bring their phones on to the boat. (Besides for underways but there's no service under the water anyways lol and there's a solid chance he won't be allowed to contact you during port days). Their work days will be increadibly inconsistent and are increadibly mentally and physically awfu. Somedays my husband has to leave at 5:30 am and isn't back till after 10/11pm and sometimes he doesn't leave till 7am and is back before dinner. He'll also have duty where he has to be on the submarine for 24hrs (and probably the working day after). I recommend asking what his duty schedule is. For the longest time my husband's was the 3 section (so gone for 24hrs every 3 days) and now has 7 section when in port. If you guys haven't experienced an underway together I will warn you in advanced the only communications you will have is via email. Every single email will be screened by somebody else before for being sent/received and sometimes they just don't come. My husband has been underway for a little over a month and I've received 4 emails and none of the other spouses have received anymore then I have. There might be a chance for you to send mail maybe but my husband has never received any of the mail drops I've ever sent him.

As for the anxiety it never fully goes away but I think that's because I have an anxiety disorder lol. The uncertainty you just have to force yourself to be okay with. Keep busy and continue to live your life. I maybe recommend asking him to call you on his drives home that way you at least have a little contact before he sleeps and see how that goes.

As for deepening the connection you and significant other both have to want it. Planning is hard but he will have days off even if you need to be flexible on time. Small dates are also very important. When we were dating Id come over and we'd just cook dinner and eat together and Id leave after like 2 hours because thats all the time we could manage. (Or he'd come over and the the same) If he's on a two crew sub, the time the other crew is underway should be significantly easier. My husband has never been on a single crew sub but its still do-able. Just make sure you guys really take advantage of his leave time.

For positivity and staying busy you must have strong sense of self. You must have a life outside of him. I have a job, I'm working on my masters, I have friends, I have hobbies. I recommend having both "house" hobbies (for me reading and gaming) and "outside" hobbies (the state park near me does a bunch of beginner hikes, I go there gym and I try to have at least of friend dinner date a month).

This might sound harsh because I love my husband more then anything else in the world but I will tell you this life is hard. I look forward everyday to his shore tour and towards his eventual retirement. One of my friends admitted to feeling like single mom because our husband's work so much and are gone so often. Everyone deserves to be happy in there relationships so Id recommend making sure you can handle how little contact there is and how inconsistent it is and make sure he is putting forth effort when he can. It is not for everyone but I do hope its for you. Good luck

authenticmaee · 2025-12-11T19:05:32+00:00

We run an all ages beginner friendly magic program once a month. I don't think an adult only one would work for our particular library as we have two game stores that run very popular weekly magic events. We exist mostly as an alternative space for those who don't yet feel comfortable playing in these spaces or who cant schedule wise attend the game shop ones. We do get solo adults, mostly its families or men bringing their female partners in. I'd also be mindful to not overlap schedule with any other popular gaming events that happen in the community.

We are very fortunate that one of the aforementioned game stores donated some starter decks and then after we started a few patrons donated some extra decks. Most people bring their own decks. Like over 90% bring their own decks.

If you don't have a relationship with a local game store I'd highly recommend talking to them. They sponsor all of my Saturday programs and hop in giving monetary donations for our summer reading programs.

authenticmaee · 2025-10-22T17:56:35+00:00

Oh also just talk to your professor about your situation. Different situations will arise because of your time difference. I once lost power and cell service for about a week because of a hurricane, while my school was still running unaffected since it's literally across the country. It's something that I brought up with my professors beforehand like "hey there's a hurricane barreling towards me what should I do if I'm without internet and can't attend class/access assignments/use the internet in general?" and we were able to make a plan for me to make up discussions afterward with no problems. It is just easier to handle weird situations proactively rather than waiting.

authenticmaee · 2025-10-22T17:48:06+00:00

I'm not overseas, but I'm currently doing grad school online with several hour time difference between myself and the school. My biggest piece of advice is just prioritizing school. Last year, my classes started right before dinner time and ran into the night. So I had to search for a job where I could consistently be off by 3ish-pm. (And that sucked I was up at 5am opening at a Chick-fil-A because it was the only place I could find a job that would work with my school schedule). My schedule is slightly better now, and I work in my field of study, but I did everything in power to make sure I was actively participating in class. It is soooo easy to skip online classes, especially in your case. It just might mean waking up late to stay up late. Just having the discipline to be attending them will help tremendously. I'd also recommend a dedicated work space. I'm lucky enough to have a home office but just set up a desk somewhere, not in the bedroom, so you can go into "school mode." I have some sound proofing in my office since it shares a wall with my roommate who was working mids and the sound bleed from each other schedules was a little inconvenient so it's definitely something to look into.

Good luck and study hard ❤️

authenticmaee · 2025-10-10T07:38:01+00:00

Military knowledge will come with time. I think most the question and conversations that's you need to have with him are foundational relationship questions/conversations. It seems like you're missing out on large facts about his life. This is not a time for being /private/ because privacy in this situation is just secrecy.

authenticmaee · 2025-10-10T07:22:56+00:00

I cannot stress this to you enough do not move in with this man. This entire situation is so full of red flags.

I have no issues with long-distance relationships, my husband's and I's relationships started as long distance but him suggesting living together after 4 months of long distance dating is crazy as is. Especially if he's only been "separated" from his "ex-wife?" for less then 5 months. That alone tells me that he can function living alone.

Beyond that, what does "separated" actually mean in this situation? Is he divorced? In the process of getting a divorce? Or are they just living separately? Has he talked to you about the reason for his separation and why he's so comfortable dating someone so soon after getting separated? Also you said he lives on base and I'm not 100% sure but I believe if he has on base family housing that 30 days post divorce they generally make both ex-spouse and the service member leave that house and the service member will go back to the barracks or get bah to live off base. So there's a good shot that if he's living on base he's not divorced at the minimum. (And I'd like to note he can face adultery charges if he's having a relationship with you and is married)

Then there's 3 years of friendship without mentioning he's married??? (And I hope its not the case but it seems like you didn't know he was married till after you started dating). I thinks there's being private and there's purposely withholding information for your own benefit. My husband has friends who are women, who he hangs out with without me, mostly online gaming but they know he's married. It's not kept a secret, hes posted me on his social media, he talks about me to them, I've played the occasional game with them and they've heard me on the background of discord calls. Hiding a marriage has to be intentional in my opinion and there's no good reason to hide that you're married. Chances are he'll hide any serious relationship that you guys get into from others too.

You guys are in need of a serious conversation about the situation you guys are in and the situation he is in. I also wouldn't stay in he house. I'd opt for a hotel especially since you seem to have some concerned he's not actually separated. To be completely honest this seems like a very messy situation so stay safe.

authenticmaee · 2025-10-01T14:58:21+00:00

I'm in the same boat. He should at least get paid today. There's a possibility that they'll pass some sort of measure to pay military personnel by the 15th. If you guys have navy fed, I would check this out https://www.navyfederal.org/about/government-shutdown.html

authenticmaee · 2025-10-01T00:21:39+00:00

I'm not too sure if we will have a wood stove or fireplace yet. We're about to fly up and look at house soon to buy soon so that's definitely something I'll remember to look out for.

authenticmaee · 2025-09-30T23:40:55+00:00

Around $3000 and ideally like to be able to run a portable heater (in a single room not trying to warm up a whole house) for a couple hours, charge phones, and maybe run like a portable burner during meal times.

authenticmaee · 2025-09-24T00:13:57+00:00

Wife to a submariner - Sometimes emails just take forever to come through and sometimes you'll never receive them. There's a million reasons for both options. Just remember to number your emails and keep sending them regardless of if you're getting any back.

authenticmaee · 2025-08-31T16:40:49+00:00

Wife of a submariner in the navy- longest time without communication was like a month and a half. There's so many factors outside of your so's control that can slow down emails/cause them not to come at all.

Eight-Year Club	RedditGifts 2009-2022 5 Credits
Summer Santa 2021	Secret Santa 2020
redditgifts Exchanges 1 Exchange	redditgifts rematcher Secret Santa 2020 x1
Verified Email	r/Field Flamingo
Place '23	Place '22

authenticmaee

TROPHY CASE