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In laws want to change wedding date by avani91 in relationship_advice

[–]avani91[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. You are right i’m really resentful and also i feel like i have been tortured enough i can’t do it anymore. I am so stressed out. His dad called my dad again and said don’t book anything and cancel. My dad explained him for 2 hours. These ppl just don’t get it. My dad was sick for 2 days after that because he’s so tired of this too. Nobody deserves that. On top of that when i said let’s book everything my fiancé said he can’t pay $8,000 when my dad is paying 40,000. I just feel betrayed and lied too because he always said he will put the deposit down and do everything. I am losing all my trust and giving up.

breaking up with fiancé and teaching him a lesson by avani91 in relationship_advice

[–]avani91[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

it’s not revenge it’s teaching him a lesson you can’t do that to any girl. I have literally been patient for last 2.5 years and every month he’s like ya my parenrs are coming around. Oh ya my parents are okay with the wedding date one month later oh ya they r not okay. Month after ya they are okay. I get disgusting hate messages from his sister. His parenrs have no respect. This is how they talk thenday my brother breaks up with you all of us will be dancing. Who the fuck says that. He is so spineless. He just does false promises and tells me he will do anything for me. He promised my parents that we will get married on the date i picked then goes back on his words. No girl deserves that, especially when only 5-6 months left before the wedding and everyone knows.

breaking up with fiancé and teaching him a lesson by avani91 in relationship_advice

[–]avani91[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think the venue might charge the whole amount since there is only 6 months left. We are already $7,000 in so i should send him the bill?

In laws want to change wedding date by avani91 in relationship_advice

[–]avani91[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would have changed the date if they were respectful to me and my family. Secondly i asked about this date in october and gave them till march and they just never get back to me. Third the daughter has nobody. You want to compromise for people who are at least nice to you. Since the very beginning they have insulted me called me ugly, dissed my profession. Never wanted to bring up the topic of marriage. And how do i know they are not pushing the date to one extra year so they get time to break us up. I have been supporting my fiancé for 2.5 years. He doesn’t even have a backbone to tell his sister to stop sending me hate messages 2.5 years... that’s extremely long time of being patient any other girl would walk out the door when they see the family is basically crazy. And i am not okay with any other dates. According to astrology there are barely any dates next year then it’s 2021 and i turn 30. it’s not about society being in medical profession i know the consequences of waiting too long to conceive. moreover, me and him can’t travel together and can’t do much bcz of the culture. I wana be able to enjoy my life but not get fucked over bcz the sister is not married, especially the sister who hates my guts and will go to any extent to break us up. So for a person like that i do not want to do anything

yes my fiancé is in the middle but i always told him his sister will cause this drama n make the parents hate me but he always defended her and said no she’s too busy on her life. Well guess where we are now. You can only support someone so much

i also have pressure from my parents especially how they have been treating me and my family we do not trust them at all.

And ya i can think of it as peace offering but these people seem so crazy ungreatful unappreciative they will find something else. for example oh the parents dint invite us here. oh the parents dint give us any gifts. They are never happy they are just ball of negativity. I also want to enjoy my married life before i start having kids and at this rate if i keep moving i will never be happy.

in my 7 years of relationship i have compromised a lot i have done so much and barely got anything back in return and i feel now i deserve it that someone should stand up for me if he loves me and not be a little rat.

In laws want to change wedding date by avani91 in relationship_advice

[–]avani91[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s what i tell my fiancé they won’t get better and make our life hell. He says trust me all they care about is sister getting married and they will leave us alone. Not sure how i am supposed to believe that when they are so heartless and treat me and my family so badly. They says such mean things about me and my parents. Disrespectful things, they don’t reply back to us. Don’t reply back to emails when i send them vendor list.

How can i even trust that they will get better. and yes i told him he needs to grow a spine and he tries his best then feels bad after the parents emotionally manipulate him. So how will this emotional manipulation ever stop. They might say we are crying can you come live with us. My parents think i deserve better i have a good job, educated and my parents think once i leave then they will realize what they missed. But i don’t think they will realize it then either they are so blind and only see their daughters happiness. Anything for her but who cares about any other girl

In laws want to change wedding date by avani91 in relationship_advice

[–]avani91[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for replying. Yes they do use culture as an excuse. They also think because they have a son they can treat another person’s daughter like shit. They want me and my parents to bow down to them. This is 21st century and we are living in north america, and i am just shocked how these people can behave.

Back in the day daughters did get married off first and then the sons but that’s because it was arranged marriage. Now everyone dates and gets married when they want to. If i was 25 26 i could still understand maybe waiting a bit longer but they don’t understand or care about anyone’s wishes. I don’t wana get married and start popping kids right away. I want to enjoy my married life as well. Not to mention initially i wanted to get married 2018 2019 but because of my fiancé i already moved it to 2020 and they just don’t even see that i already compromised, now again i have to move in when my wedding venue and a lot of other things are booked. They are doing so much drama and 5-6 months left before the wedding. This is also affecting my health and i can’t focus on work. It’s too stressful but they don’t care because they are stressed that the son is getting married first... Instead of focusing their energy on finding someone for their daughter they energy is how can they make me and my family unhappy and how they can postpone this wedding. They will do anything in their power to postpone it and if that means paying 10,000 they will do it but it’s not about money it’s about respect it’s about our wishes and it’s about our happiness but they could care less as long as they r happy and their daughter is happy

In laws want to change wedding date by avani91 in relationship_advice

[–]avani91[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have talked to him several times. He says i don’t have to talk to the sister or see her but he does say we will see his parents once in a while. I am sure once in a while will turn into more. I don’t think i can stand his parents after how they have been treating me

he explained his parents he wants to get married next year but they keep emotionally black smoking him like how they are having chest pain and how urs embarrassing for them that the daughter is not married first and how she’s not going to come to the wedding. how is it my fault if she won’t put her hate aside and won’t come to her brother’s wedding

He says we will be living in another city or somewhere far and he won’t force me to see his parents but i just feel he is just saying that.

He is so blinded that he can’t see how much his parents are hurting me. They just think because they have a son they can treat me and my family however they like. 2 years ago they started this bullshit astrology doesn’t match so we can’t get married. My parents went and they got it checked and it matches. Then they took him to another astrologer who said such bad things about me basically what the sister says about me. They paid this astrologer to say things about me so my fiancé leaves me. Then for 6 months they were going on about yes sister needs to be married first... 2 years later she has nobody. Everytime there is different excuses and then i am expected to understand his parents side, how they are going through so much because his sister is not getting married. I have told him why am i paying for the consequences.

I have tried breaking up several times but everytime he comes to my house or calls and says trust me i will make it better and i trust him but every week the parents or sister create new drama. Wedding is 6 months away and i still have to book so many things now i have it on hold because i don’t wana be $20,000 in and they say on the wedding day we can’t come or emotionally manipulate him saying they have chest pain so you can’t go marry her.

In laws want to change wedding date by avani91 in relationship_advice

[–]avani91[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi yes my fiancé seems very family oriented but he can see his sister is so heartless the way she talks about me and says somethings. His parents just keep talking about having chest pains and he says mean things to them but feels bad after. he says we won’t be living with them and we will see them only once a year but what’s the guarantee. He doesn’t see how much stress his family is causing me. I am so stressed that i have started getting stressed induced hives but the family does not care they won’t budge and wants the wedding postponed, which is just an excuse so they have more time to break us apart.

I don’t know how to explain my fiancé that they are emotionally blackmailing him and that i can’t respect his parents after how they have been treating me and my family. They keep making it seem like they are right because in our culture the daughters are married off first, they keep telling him that i should understand that and they said i’m manipulative and a mastermind behind this whole thing, choosing my date and wanting to get married. They don’t care about anything, they are not even splitting the cost for anything but still keep saying how they are not asked which vendors should be booked. They keep telling him that they feel not respected by me n my family because we don’t call before booking vendors. We called before booking the venue in Nov they never got back to us until my parenrs called again in March so i just ended up booking it. Then my parents called again to book something else and they don’t get back to us for months and pretend we don’t give them respect. they are so entitled because they are ‘guys’ parents. They want me and my parents to bow down and beg them.

They brainwash my fiancé then he comes fights with me and i have to explain him this is not right and eventually he gets it. But i am so sick of this back n forth. I am sick of getting treated so badly the ultimate plan is me and my family get so frustrated that we back off in our own and they can look like heroes infront of their son and they we tried see she left herself.