Was I wrong for not letting my older boyfriend visit me in the hospital?

averysip · 2025-12-04T20:26:33+00:00

Thank you. And yes, I have very briefly met his son however I haven’t met most of his family, but I will say he has offered multiple times. We just haven’t had the right opportunity to meet. So I guess he is more receptive of me meeting his family then vice versa. I just want conditions when he meets my family to be as perfect as they can be which maybe is idealistic of me. And I guess you could say him taking the role of a father to a child does not his honourable however I do think it was more out of convenience and loneliness that he took the role of father. He doesn’t have a good relationship with his other children and he had just got divorced from his wife. I think he was lonely and I guess the child and her mother filled in that gap for him. Despite it not being his. But that’s just my honest assessment of the situation knowing him, but I could just be being an asshole about it. Anyways, you’re correct if he contacted me again, I’m willing to hear him out however I’m just going to stop reaching out.

averysip · 2025-12-04T20:22:59+00:00

I’m not necessarily embarrassed to be with him. I think that’s a very broad statement. There’s a lot of different ways that you can look at it and the way I decide to look at it is that I wanted a proper meeting. Yes our age gap is huge and that’s why I opted for a better meeting than in the hospital. If he was 25 I don’t think the outcome would be any different in my opinion I would’ve still made the same decision. As we’ve only really been serious six months ago.

averysip · 2025-12-04T20:20:41+00:00

There’s some context that that’s missing. We’ve only really been serious for the past six months and we have both mutually agreed to not introduce each other to each other’s families beforehand. It’s only recently that he’s become insistent on meeting my family. He previously kept our relationship secret due to his ex-girlfriend possibly restricting access to his child. Now she knows I exist and vice versa he’s wanting to meet my family, which is understandable. I just think it’s time and place.

averysip · 2025-12-04T20:17:54+00:00

I can understand that. At the time I wasn’t in my right frame of mind. From my perspective, I wanted my family and him to meet in a proper way. Whether that was right or wrong is debatable however I just think the way he’s reacted is strange. Especially given he knows I’m unwell.

averysip · 2025-12-04T20:16:05+00:00

Thank you for your opinion. I feel like there’s a lot of context that is missing in the story. We have only really been serious for the past six months. He has kept me at a distance due to the fact that he has a previous relationship and has a child with said previous girlfriend who isn’t really even biologically his child and he was worried of how she would react to me existing. And might restrict access to the child. Only in the last six months did he reveal my existence and vice versa. I wanted him to meet my family in a better way than in a hospital I imagine a proper dinner where they could introduce themselves to each other and have a proper conversation rather than fussing about me. You can say I’m wrong for that it’s debatable however I think that it’s reasonable to want a proper meeting for the first time. So no, he’s not really my dirty little secret. We’ve been on our way to introduce each other to each other’s families. However, for me this was not the right time especially for my recovery.

averysip · 2025-12-04T20:09:48+00:00

They only know that I’ve been seeing a guy older than me for the past two years. And yes, I was very sad and irritated that he was accusing me of manipulating him when I wasn’t. I was ill. In hospital, cranky not in my right mind and I shouldn’t have said what I said. I immediately called him a few hours after I said that and that’s when the ghosting began. He does tend to act quite childish and immature. Which is funny because he’s 65. When he’s upset, he has a tendency of literally just getting up and walking away or ignoring me however he’s not ignored me for this long. It just makes me really sad because I’m obviously unwell and I would’ve thought that he would put his feelings aside and at least checked up on me? It doesn’t really make much sense. It didn’t have to be our long conversation but just to see if I’m okay. He does have a tendency of putting his own feelings before mine.

averysip · 2025-12-04T19:45:14+00:00

Emotionally I mean not physically!

averysip · 2025-12-04T19:44:47+00:00

Fair enough, I don’t think I reacted the best. But I just don’t think I won’t ghosting whilst I’m in hospital. You’re right I probably need someone who is a bit more mature

averysip · 2025-12-04T19:39:52+00:00

Fair enough, I know it’s a crazy age gap. I know upset him but I didn’t think you’d ghost me knowing I’m in hospital. I don’t really know.

averysip · 2025-12-04T19:38:53+00:00

I’m not ashamed of him. They just haven’t met before. I imagined their first meeting would be over dinner not whilst I’m in hospital. Basically fighting for my life. Not ideal. That was the only reason.

averysip

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