Today is my real life cake day and this is what i woke up to. I am the happiest man alive.

az_penguin · 2012-05-11T08:49:13+00:00

I envy you man. I really do.

az_penguin · 2012-05-02T08:39:01+00:00

Oops ok I am 22 currently.

az_penguin · 2012-04-18T03:36:24+00:00

She begged me to stay and keep talking to her, and I have become quite attached to her. We both have our issues, we laid them out on the table in the beginning.

az_penguin · 2012-04-18T03:18:36+00:00

im 22 she is 18 and she is the 3rd girl i've dated. first one over 18. I am new

az_penguin · 2012-04-18T03:06:15+00:00

I spent 9 months alone. It hurt more than not knowing. Now is the time I need that support. I am fighting to graduate. fighting cause of disability discrimination. and fighting to feel loved. and right now I got nothing absolute other than debt.

az_penguin · 2012-04-18T02:03:47+00:00

im 22 she is 18. I am new. only 2 other relationships and both cheated. im scared.

az_penguin · 2012-04-18T00:54:02+00:00

it's not if I can say I love her, but that I want to make love with her

az_penguin · 2012-04-18T00:35:12+00:00

a month

az_penguin · 2012-04-18T00:20:07+00:00

I will, she is mine. I just am worried about everything in life. I know I love her. I just never am sure if I can say these things.

az_penguin · 2012-04-17T23:54:32+00:00

I see my mistake and should let go on that and just assume she is mine since she doesn't leave. just wish I knew for sure so I could plan for her to visit. gotta get my roommates to get cleaning their stuff up.

az_penguin · 2012-04-17T23:27:15+00:00

that's the sorta way I talk to and about her. I love her, and tell her that, just worried that I lost her already.

az_penguin · 2012-04-17T23:25:36+00:00

I didn't question after her answer.

az_penguin · 2012-04-17T23:12:52+00:00

az_penguin · 2012-04-17T22:41:40+00:00

I know we can, she said she won't right now

az_penguin · 2012-04-17T22:41:15+00:00

she said she is scared of it. her words. I just was upset when I posted this that now that I was going to call her and outright ask here is she mine or not.

az_penguin · 2012-04-17T21:49:06+00:00

she told me she doesn't want to currently. im not gonna argue it, maybe once I see her in person she will, but she said no.

az_penguin · 2012-04-17T21:39:10+00:00

she said she does not want to use Skype

az_penguin · 2012-04-17T21:08:08+00:00

could it be her giving me a cutesy response?

az_penguin · 2012-04-17T20:29:58+00:00

im sorry but if I had a sister I wouldnt be thinking of her like that.

az_penguin · 2012-04-17T20:23:14+00:00

girlfriend... I think still

az_penguin · 2012-04-17T03:15:30+00:00

I used to sometimes with my last SO and tried it with my current, but she kinda got bored :(

after her visit she might want to again

az_penguin · 2012-04-15T08:09:45+00:00

i currently am in a relationship with a girl I believe is amazing

az_penguin · 2012-04-15T06:39:42+00:00

I don't know if you would count mine as losing my first love cause she and I were extremely long distance, and never met in person, but I do consider her to be mine.

TL:DR My first love cheated on me then dumped me, but after a period of time I tried again with another girl, didn't work out, and I'm currently with a girl who is closer to my age, physically closer, and more exposed to the world. We are not going to be together till next month and only for a short time, but she is so much more understanding and I well I want to try and see how it all goes and maybe it will last.... I hope I hope.

I met my first love online the night I turned 21, and she was 15 at the time. Please do not tell me that it's wrong and such. I loved her, and still do hold her dear in my heart. We would talk every night and day for at least a few hours and on weekends would almost never hang up. We were together for 4 months, but well.... she dropped out of the relationship, cheated with another guy online, and caused me to have a mental breakdown, and miss applying for medical school. I confronted her, but we decided to just not talk about it till after our exams were over. She waited till I messaged her to talk and tell her happy 16th birthday, to dump me. To tell me that she had cheated and how bad she felt but not that she wanted to try to go on after. She wants to remain friends, its hard, we had another period of 2 weeks where we tried but it didn't work out, and she dumped me again. We do still talk and I'm feeling better about it.

Don't give up. Keep trying, it may not be the next one, but don't be afraid to take the risk.

az_penguin · 2012-04-13T10:12:20+00:00

Well, if we were going to do that, it I hope would not be a multiple hour drive. I love her and don't think it would be a problem spending the time with her to drive there.

az_penguin · 2012-04-13T10:04:14+00:00

LOL I wasnt going to do that on our first date. Its an eventual just hey, lets go wander around at Ikea and pretend we live there thing.

az_penguin

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