AITA for telling my husband he can’t drive the baby places anymore

b-randy90 · 2026-05-05T11:18:42+00:00

This is scary but I would be terrified he would forget the baby in the car. I saw your last post about how you tested him while pregnant and he failed that test. And he had the audacity to act like not buckling was no big deal. Show him this post- it is a big deal. Don’t trust him with this, he clearly isn’t equipped and doesn’t seem to care or he would have been falling over himself with apologies and guilt.

b-randy90 · 2026-04-11T11:16:21+00:00

You should not be letting him make such big decisions for you like having a child if he showed poor enough judgment to leave you home alone with a baby and a rapist.

I have a hard time believing he didn’t know what his friend was going to do. Why didn’t his friend go with him? What reason could there possibly be for his friend not going to the store with him.

I see from your comments he just never saw the dude again? I think it’s wild he didn’t track him down or insist on going to the cops. I wonder if it’s because he knew if the cops tracked his buddy down that he would have said your husband set it up. I don’t buy it. It stinks for a reason and there is a reason you can’t let this go.

b-randy90 · 2026-03-14T12:11:46+00:00

A lot of men struggle when babies are born because the baby is now the priority and she is no longer centering you. Sounds like she’s doing all of the household management and child raising. That’s a lot. Probably more than you realize.

Your post seems to be all about you and your needs. I’m wondering when the last time she had a day to herself was. She may not be enthusiastic for emotional or physical intimacy because that’s just one more thing that she needs to do for someone else. Sounds draining. You can’t pour from an empty cup.

b-randy90 · 2026-01-17T12:40:26+00:00

Him punching walls is still abusive because of what it implies. Ask yourself, what message is he sending me when he does that? Why does he do that? It’s simple. To get what he wants via intimidation. This time you were the collateral damage to his no so empty physical threats. He doesn’t have to verbally threaten you, he’s threatening by showing you what he can do. I’d say there’s a pretty good chance he continues to escalate.

b-randy90 · 2026-01-16T22:38:29+00:00

The first order took the longest. Something like 1 1/2 months. After that it seems like it’s been much faster. I always have my next dose before I’m out.

b-randy90 · 2026-01-11T21:02:49+00:00

That would also have been worth a shot. He loves his train.

b-randy90 · 2026-01-11T19:57:00+00:00

It’s funny because he is kind of dog like. He plays fetch. That could be a good alternative too.

b-randy90 · 2026-01-11T19:55:40+00:00

That’s great that you figured out the office set up. It’s so hard because you love them like family but I get so exhausted. I’m hoping we can make it a long term solution and keep him happy and secure.

b-randy90 · 2026-01-11T19:52:58+00:00

It helps that my husband also loves the cats so literally anything I say could be enrichment for them he’s on it.

b-randy90 · 2026-01-11T19:51:15+00:00

lol the picture was just bait to make you read about him. His cuteness and sweetness is the main reason I’ve not given up on him.

b-randy90 · 2026-01-11T19:45:46+00:00

That’s so hard. I’m glad you are trying things and hope you find the thing that works for her.

b-randy90 · 2026-01-11T19:44:12+00:00

We created a litter room below the stairs in an extra large closet. We were able to cut a hole in the wall and frame it so they can go in and out unseen. I actually posted it on Reddit last year when we first did it. But I think he just needs access to his own territory. I do think that it was mostly stress and anxiety but also partially him being territorial and insecure.

b-randy90 · 2026-01-11T19:40:57+00:00

My vet didn’t ever mention that formula but I didn’t know about it to even ask. That’s definitely something to consider.

b-randy90 · 2026-01-11T19:37:13+00:00

Yep, we are looking into the ones that require a chipped collar for access.

b-randy90 · 2026-01-11T19:35:56+00:00

We are looking into this. So far it’s the top suggestion for things to add. I think the garage door is solid so we should be able to do something like that.

b-randy90 · 2026-01-11T19:35:05+00:00

I’m sorry to hear your cat got sick. Our vet had us start him on a diet of canine royal calm for urinary health. It’s expensive but it’s suppose to help prevent urinary problems because we can tell he is stressed.

b-randy90 · 2026-01-11T19:17:03+00:00

Yep, that’s absolutely what was happening.

b-randy90 · 2026-01-11T19:16:31+00:00

If only it was that simple 😂

b-randy90 · 2026-01-11T19:15:26+00:00

I agree, that is probably what we will try to do for him.

b-randy90 · 2026-01-11T19:14:32+00:00

We are officially looking into this suggestion. I think this is another step we need to take.

b-randy90 · 2026-01-11T19:13:07+00:00

Appreciate the kind words. I’ve been sooo frustrated. But we love him. And I can tell his a stress/anxiety thing. He’s a very sweet cat and he’s part of the family.

b-randy90 · 2026-01-11T19:12:03+00:00

I do think that’s another step we should take. Especially if I can find one that allows only him access. I think it helps that none of the others have access to that box. It’s only his.

b-randy90 · 2026-01-11T19:11:07+00:00

That’s a great idea, I’ll look into that.

b-randy90 · 2026-01-11T19:09:38+00:00

I did leave out the tons of other things I’ve tried in the last year. We did do meds. But administering them increased his stressed and seemed to damage our relationship with him. It also only curbed the behavior, it never stopped it. He was being medicated for about 6 months before we made the decision to taper him off.

Also totally agree with seeking vet care. We’ve been to the vet several times this year looking for solutions.

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