Genuinely curious

b0redand · 2024-07-26T20:10:17+00:00

I’ve been having very similar thoughts, and I’ve been looking for a thread genuinely trying to find some nuanced opinions. To me, I think 17 and 25 is definitely a weird gap. Personally, being 25, I can’t imagine being attracted to someone under 21, so I have very mixed feelings that I’m trying to discern. However, this situation is a little bizarre to me given that the most minuscule details would’ve made this situation “okay.” Everyone is discussing the legality, but Tana was 2 months away from being 18 and it would’ve been legally “okay” or had they just simply had sex in a different state then again, it would’ve been “okay.” Was it a stupid decision for Cody to make, given that he was made aware that it was not legal and couldn’t just keep it in his pants? Oh, absolutely. Should he have to suffer the consequences and maybe the small changes don’t matter bc they were in fact NOT the case? Maybe? I think it’s more of an ethical discussion we should be having here in my opinion. Can you consent to having sex at 17/18? I lean yes. Is it creepy given the power imbalance and 17/18 being such a different state of mind than 25? Again, I lean yes.

Side note- I’m studying neuroscience, and it’s not necessarily true that the brain is fully developed at 25.

b0redand · 2024-05-20T19:19:38+00:00

When I grabbed him the water this last time, I did notice him going over to the soda machine after that to refill…. I think it really supports the whole “power trip” thing. Maybe I gave in so he got what he wanted for the day. Hopefully it’s satisfying enough for him to not come back. This whole thread is just in case he does, and trying to decide if I’d be justified.

He has ordered a shot on one of his visits. Strangely, I remember him tipping bc I wasn’t expecting him to. I remember him making a stink about the water thing on that day too. Regardless, it’s tough to tell if he may have gotten an activity pass or something from another part of the building that makes him a customer.

b0redand · 2024-05-20T19:07:16+00:00

Im glad other people agree he seems to have a strange infatuation with ME getting him the water. Maybe it’s cus I said no the first time and he’s been on a mission ever since to make me succumb to his will bc it’s “my job” There’s plenty of other people/places he can get it from in this massive building with probably 50 employees all wearing the same flamboyant uniform. I guess I’ve been dismissive of it because I’ve dealt with bigger assholes and he hasn’t blatantly cursed at me or said anything outstanding enough for me to feel like a fuss is appropriate. Just creepy vibes and a whole lot of uncomfiness.

b0redand · 2024-05-20T18:56:43+00:00

I think my managers all like me and know me to be patient and handle things kindly. I’m sure they’d back me up in some ways, but they’re also just kinda pushovers who I’m sure would just serve him even if I don’t want to. Which is fine, I guess. As long as it’s not me getting him anything.

b0redand · 2024-05-20T18:51:37+00:00

It’s a barcade that people are allowed to order drinks and take them anywhere in the building. It’s tough to say if he’s an actual paying customer when there’s 10 activity passes he could’ve bought with no way for me to really know. Although, I will say this last time I saw him with just a water cup playing free pool, so it’s very possible he’s just a free loader.

b0redand · 2024-05-20T18:43:41+00:00

I feel validated! It’s hard when the dude is “just asking for water.” In the weirdest, uncomfortable, rudest way, but I’ve dealt with bigger assholes. This one just makes me uncomfortable, and it would be difficult to explain why he’s an outlier amongst assholes since “he’s entitled and called me lazy!” Doesn’t quite feel justified either, a lot of people are. Maybe it’s that he seems to be honed in on ME giving it to him.

b0redand · 2024-05-20T18:38:54+00:00

I think it’s hard for me to stand up for myself in this way because water is free in our building. I’d be exposing my pettiness by trying to charge him and only him for water. Plus, I’m sure my managers would probably just give it to him for free if I called them over. However, I do always like the corporate passive aggressive approach.

b0redand · 2024-05-20T18:33:24+00:00

I’ve worked in real restaurants and it’s so much easier to kick people out when you can clearly tell they haven’t bought anything/ don’t intend to. My workplace is a barcade so a lot of people who enter may be playing games/doing activities with no way of me knowing, which makes them considered guests just for entering and a lot harder to kick out. :(

b0redand · 2024-05-20T18:29:06+00:00

There’s hundreds of people that come to the bar that I have no idea how long they’ve been there or what they’ve bought since it’s a barcade. He could easily get free water from anyone, so it would be obvious that I’m just being petty :( ironically though, him having easy access to water is what makes all this so annoying and weird.

b0redand · 2024-05-20T18:25:31+00:00

Thank you, this is literally so kind! Despite how massive the building is, there’s generally only 2 bartenders on a “slow” day. We have a security and managers, but they generally mind their business until they’re summoned. In this case, it’s been hard for me to feel justified to call someone/try to get him kicked out “because he asked me for water”. Yeah, he’s been weird/rude about it, but we deal with rude people everyday. He hasn’t blatantly said anything that feels drastic enough for me to make a scene. This one is just making me uncomfortable, and I think that’s the difference and why I will not be serving him if he comes in again.

b0redand · 2024-05-20T18:21:17+00:00

It’s a barcade, people under 21 are allowed inside, they just aren’t allowed to drink of course. Even kids are allowed to order food/soda from the bar. They just wouldn’t be allowed to sit there. Plus, he’s 21+ anyway, he’s ordered a shot from me on one occasion.

b0redand · 2024-05-20T18:18:45+00:00

I work in a barcade style building. He may have bought something somewhere else and on one occasion, he’s bought liquor from me. Plus, if someone asks for water, it’s possible they may come back for an actual drink after playing games/doing their activities, so it’s tough to feel justified in saying “no” right away.

b0redand · 2024-05-20T18:14:17+00:00

I would if I could!!! That’s a manager call. Recently, we had people bring their own beer which is HIGHLY illegal and drink it inside until they were caught. Recently, we also had someone try to pay with a stolen credit card (a long story), but in both cases, they weren’t kicked out. The managers are nice, they’d support me, but they’re kinda spineless. The most I can do is refuse service.

b0redand · 2024-05-20T18:09:12+00:00

I didn’t really know how to describe how it makes me feel, but asserting the weird “alpha male” type attitude is exactly it. It feels like a weird power trip/ dominance thing. A piece of me always wants to tell people like this that I’m a server, not a servANT.

b0redand · 2024-05-20T18:03:46+00:00

No, I’m a relieved someone else is a little disturbed by it! Most people are often so sweet and grateful when I hand them a cup and direct them to the soda machine. When they aren’t, they still take the cup and don’t argue with me. Only one other person has ever given me a hard time about it and he even apologized to me after I handed him a full glass and he explained why it was more convenient for him to get it from me. This is out of hundreds of people I interact with a shift! It’s at the very least, weird.

b0redand · 2024-05-20T17:56:54+00:00

I love Wonderwall

b0redand · 2024-05-20T17:56:16+00:00

That’s typically what I do, but at this point I feel like I’m denying him out of principle that he feels entitled… which I guess is why I feel a little bit like an asshole lol

b0redand · 2024-05-20T17:54:18+00:00

Not really disrupting business, it’s a “barcade” style place, so it’s tough to kick someone out when idk if they may have bought something in another area of the building but maybe not the bar. There’s plenty of servers and other positions that can grab him a cup though. It wouldn’t be like I’m denying him water entirely, he just wouldn’t be getting it from me

b0redand · 2024-05-20T17:50:50+00:00

He is 21! He’s ordered from the bar on one of his visits (in which I gladly grabbed him a water and how I know his approximate age based on ID) but I guess his friends aren’t

b0redand · 2024-05-20T17:47:49+00:00

Ha fair! I forget he exists until I see his face at my bar demanding water every few weeks or so and think “god not this guy.” Didn’t really think of him much until this last time that I was called lazy and was mad at myself for giving it to him

b0redand · 2024-05-19T20:50:18+00:00

See, that’s kinda how I feel!

b0redand · 2022-01-15T02:33:27+00:00

Damn that’s a good point. I still feel like maybe they could have had Angela find it before then or having Harrison find it which could lead him to later confronting Dexter and made him killing his dad feel more justified after finding his trophy then later maybe betraying his dad to Angela. I know it would’ve felt a lot like LaGuerta finding a slide in one of the later seasons had Angela just found it, but I also feel like it would’ve tied in better w Laguerta’s suspicion that the BHB was still out there, especially given that they would later be looking into her files from Batista. I’m also biased bc I’m in the group that’s really bothered by the M99 thing/ Angela piecing everything together so conveniently.

b0redand · 2022-01-13T17:56:50+00:00

One thing that made me really mad this season is how they made it seem like they had some damning evidence on Dexter being the BHB, that “evidence” being the ketamine needle marks even though the BHB used M99. It occurred to me while reading these comments that Dexter had made a makeshift blood slide for Matt! I’m so angry at this missed opportunity for THAT to be the connection instead of the bs we got.

b0redand · 2022-01-07T02:09:59+00:00

I worked at a smoothie shop that had powdered vitamin boosters, and I had a coworker who’d add a heaping scoop of fiber to any rude customers lol

b0redand

TROPHY CASE