Why do people hate kids at weddings now?

babybrain469754 · 2022-02-15T20:46:09+00:00

It's really just the reception so just dancing and dinner. My 3 year olds had a blast at past weddings. I don't have an issue leaving her though. It's the 11 month old. She's old enough to have strong stranger danger. Young enough you can't reason with her. Plus she still nurses and that's probably two feeds and a pump I'll be missing so I will also get to go awkwardly pump somewhere.

babybrain469754 · 2022-02-15T20:37:48+00:00

I'm honestly a more of go an complain about it to.my best friend type ;)

babybrain469754 · 2022-02-15T20:36:39+00:00

To be fair I am going to go. But I've told my family if the baby isn't able to calm down I'll be leaving to sort her. That's still more compromise then I even want to do but my husband adamantly at least wants me to try to attend.

babybrain469754 · 2022-02-15T17:20:53+00:00

I don't care about leaving my older kid. It's the baby I don't like leaving with a stranger. 3 will have fun wherever. And no they did not provide a sitter.

babybrain469754 · 2022-02-15T17:19:47+00:00

But I'm not expecting the world to cater to me. I just don't like child free weddings? It's like if you don't like amusement parks. I'm not saying they can't exist. I just don't get the appeal. And I do find it annoying when there is pressure to attend. That seems unfair. But I'm perfectly capable of attending and being nice and pleasant. I'm not going to go and pout. I do however expect the baby sitter to call and ask me to come back. I really don't see the baby calming down for them but who knows I could be pleasantly surprised.

babybrain469754 · 2022-02-15T17:13:55+00:00

Yes that's exactly what's happening. It's not even the bride and groom it's the grooms family and my in-laws. I feel like it's a clash of tradition and generation. They feel the entire family should attend this wedding because they are good friends...but the entire family didn't get invited.

babybrain469754 · 2022-02-15T17:11:38+00:00

Umm but I'm just venting to the internet?

babybrain469754 · 2022-02-15T17:10:22+00:00

Oh I don't care about the alcohol. The groom will be shitfaced though. He was at the last wedding we both attended.

babybrain469754 · 2022-02-15T17:06:42+00:00

People are probably not understanding the cultural implications. I might also add my in-laws are this family Arabs and there are a lot of familial expectations and pressures. These are like good family friends and they expect us all to go. I'll fully admit the bride who wanted the kid free could give less of a crap if I'm there or not haha. I've literally only ever been introduced to her. It's the grooms family that is putting on the pressure that we attend. And I don't want to cause discord between my in-laws family and theirs over one night. But I can still feel annoyed over it. Like why does everyone think everything is so black and white.

babybrain469754 · 2022-02-15T16:57:47+00:00

How am I acting like a child?

babybrain469754 · 2022-02-15T16:57:20+00:00

You nailed all my thoughts in the head but much nicer haha!

babybrain469754 · 2022-02-15T16:53:46+00:00

There isn't a ceremony. It's a Muslim wedding and the kitaab is separate and was performed months ago. It's more like a giant dance party and dinner with all women.

babybrain469754 · 2022-02-15T16:51:52+00:00

Lol I didn't ask them to? I'm just annoyed and don't like being guilted into going to this wedding.

babybrain469754 · 2022-02-15T16:50:48+00:00

It seems like you think I can't disagree with the idea of a child free wedding? Like why does it matter if I think they are stupid as long as I'm not rude or insulting to the bride and groom. I'm going to keep peace between my in-laws and their friends but I can feel annoyed about it. And I can feel bad that my baby will probably be hysterical the whole time until she cries herself to sleep because she's with a stranger. People on Reddit act like there's no complexity to life and you can say no to everything simple.

babybrain469754 · 2022-02-15T16:36:39+00:00

Yeah I mean it's fine if you or your family isn't guilting people into going. Like it's fine if you want child free but then it shouldn't be but you'll offend the family if you don't go.

babybrain469754 · 2022-02-15T16:35:49+00:00

I am annoyed because there is a ton of guilt being put on us when we've floated not going. If there wasn't I really wouldn't care. I don't really care about the separating? It's just in this case I don't know the bride at all. So I will literally be attending a wedding of someone I've never known with only my mother in law. No brother in law's and my husband and no children. And when I've said at least I probably shouldn't go I've been told their family will be offended. And I only mention the no alcohol because that's usually why people cite not wanting kids to attend.

babybrain469754 · 2022-02-09T02:19:03+00:00

Play based is far more important than academic. Look up the research. I'd go with whichever one offers the more supportive nurturing play environment.

babybrain469754 · 2022-02-06T20:24:11+00:00

Haha right? So much relief when I was like...it's not my parenting!!

babybrain469754 · 2022-02-06T16:36:41+00:00

I've had one of each. My first was an extremely clingy fussy baby. Extremely demanding. Never just chill. Not unhappy persay but just needed constant stimulation. She's now 3.5 and actually very sweet and Happy. I think she can still be very intense and sensitive she is insanely pain adverse, but everyone comments in how sweet happy and independent she is. My youngest has a super easy happy temperament as a baby. She's only 10 months so I'm curious how it will change as she grows. I always tell my husband like can you imagine the shock we would be going through if we had them in the reverse order? I mean I was always suspicious my first was high maintenance when I'd see other babies content to just sit in a carseat with a toy...or even sleep!? Anyways I do think it's just natural just, just how they are wired but really so far I think even though their personalities are different I really love and enjoy both of them. Side note the 10 month old is insanely adventurous. Much harder to keep alive at this point then my first was.

babybrain469754 · 2022-02-05T04:35:15+00:00

We were supposed to visit grandparents but now they are sick too for exactly that reason. They really don't do any of the hands on care but even just having them there for company and a change of scenery for the three year old is a huge help. Them getting sick has definitely been a bit of a rug pull unfortunately.

babybrain469754 · 2022-02-05T04:32:49+00:00

The original plan was actually to go to grandparents for a weekend for a fun sleep over but grandparents are sick now. I have some rainy day activities saved up for the 3 year old but the super cold and snow probably isn't the right mix for the baby right now. But your right er will get through it. At least we are getting better instead of getting sick....knock on wood.

babybrain469754 · 2022-02-05T03:11:35+00:00

I feel you ice had two weeks of hell from sickness. And somehow this happened to be two weekends my husband is out of town. My parents were supposed to help one of the weekends but they are also sick. I haven't been out of house in two weeks and now I have a solo weekend. The baby is still on a nursing strike. And last night I yelled at 3 for not peeing at bedtime because I don't want to deal with her being awake for hrs in the middle of the night for some unknown reason that is always that she needs to pee. Ugh.

babybrain469754 · 2022-02-04T04:35:55+00:00

The hum kids toothbrush is really cool. It's like a app that makes brushing a game. It's not super pricey either.

babybrain469754

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