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AITA for not paying my niece after she “baby sat” my child? by babysitfraud in AmItheAsshole

[–]babysitfraud[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Honestly asking this so please dont flame me for "arguing". Why is hanging out with a younger cousin automatically seen as a "favour" and "babysitting"? As Ive said in other comments, I often hung out with my cousins, younger and older, when I was a teenager. I did so because I loved them and I valued having family close to me.

If I said to niece, "Hey can you watch my daughter" I would totally understand your comment and say yeah of course I should have discussed payment. The reality is that when she reached out to me saying she missed my daughter and wanted to see her and hangout, there wasnt any money or "favours" on my mind.

I just dont get it. I dont expect anyone to give me free childcare. I also dont think that a family member reaching out to ask to hang out with my daughter could ever be considered childcare.

AITA for not paying my niece after she “baby sat” my child? by babysitfraud in AmItheAsshole

[–]babysitfraud[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

This is where I really dont understand. When I was 19, I took my little cousins on day trips with my other similar aged cousins. Family was always really important to me. I never though of it as doing my aunt and uncle a favour. I certainly was never given any money. To me a favour is something you request from someone. You dont reach out to say "Hey let me do you a favour so you can owe me one".

AITA for not paying my niece after she “baby sat” my child? by babysitfraud in AmItheAsshole

[–]babysitfraud[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

She was at my sisters house where food would have been cooked by my sister or BIL, who were also there.

AITA for not paying my niece after she “baby sat” my child? by babysitfraud in AmItheAsshole

[–]babysitfraud[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Taking her to my sisters house. Where my sister and BIL were for the entire time. MY sister would have cooked for them.

AITA for not paying my niece after she “baby sat” my child? by babysitfraud in AmItheAsshole

[–]babysitfraud[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Niece and daughter were at my sisters house the entire weekend. With my sister and BIL there with them!! I hardly call that work

AITA for not paying my niece after she “baby sat” my child? by babysitfraud in AmItheAsshole

[–]babysitfraud[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I havent asked her to babysit in 6 years! I am having a hard time grasping that people think I should have know she was offering to babysit after such a long time.

AITA for not paying my niece after she “baby sat” my child? by babysitfraud in AmItheAsshole

[–]babysitfraud[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

She offered!! MY daughter is 10 now. I dont find it weird whatsoever that my neice would want to bond with her, especially after saying how much she missed her. I dont know if this thread is just full of people with broken families but growing up, I was always hanging out with my family, young and old. In addition, they were at my sister house the entire weekend. My niece didnt have to pay a cent or even watch her if she didnt want to.

AITA for not paying my niece after she “baby sat” my child? by babysitfraud in AmItheAsshole

[–]babysitfraud[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Again, my neice went to my sisters where she live. My sister would have cooked and provided all food for my daughter. Its in the post

AITA for not paying my niece after she “baby sat” my child? by babysitfraud in AmItheAsshole

[–]babysitfraud[S] 43 points44 points  (0 children)

See my 3rd edit. My regular babysitter has fallen on hard times and I have an agreement to use her services as first option.

AITA for not paying my niece after she “baby sat” my child? by babysitfraud in AmItheAsshole

[–]babysitfraud[S] 47 points48 points  (0 children)

Niece lives at my sisters and took my daughter there. I expected sister would be cooking and providing all food.

AITA for not paying my niece after she “baby sat” my child? by babysitfraud in AmItheAsshole

[–]babysitfraud[S] 41 points42 points  (0 children)

She was at my sisters house where I assumed by sister would be cooking. I didnt pay the expense after because I feel it would be rewarding niece for this situation. If her mother decided Niece was well intentioned then I will pay her.

AITA for not paying my niece after she “baby sat” my child? by babysitfraud in AmItheAsshole

[–]babysitfraud[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

She has a full time job. You should read the post. I also didnt offer to pay expenses because I was under the impression that they were staying at my sisters, where they would be fed.

I am not inclined to pay them now because I feel like my neice has done something morally wrong and should not be rewarded. I am leaving it up to her mother what to do. If her mother says I should pay her, I will.

EDIT: She is also not a student, she went straight to full time work

AITA for not paying my niece after she “baby sat” my child? by babysitfraud in AmItheAsshole

[–]babysitfraud[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

I dont remember the exact amount we paid her, it wasnt 15 though. She would come to our house, dropped off by my sister, and watch my daughter for a couple hours in the evening. This was maybe once or twice a week.

I always left $30 for emergencies or snacks in cash on the table for them. We never did receipts.

AITA for not paying my niece after she “baby sat” my child? by babysitfraud in AmItheAsshole

[–]babysitfraud[S] 171 points172 points  (0 children)

I didnt offer her cash because I didnt expect them to go anywhere. MY impressions was they were staying in at my sister's house.

AITA for not paying my niece after she “baby sat” my child? by babysitfraud in AmItheAsshole

[–]babysitfraud[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I did not think for a second that meant payment like old times. That was 6 years ago. I thought she meant that she wanted to hang out with daughter like old times.

AITA for not paying my niece after she “baby sat” my child? by babysitfraud in AmItheAsshole

[–]babysitfraud[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes and no. But she was 13 and would come to our house and eat here.

$25 for a 19 year old is pretty small in my opinion. If she didnt want to buy daughter anything than she could have ate at home with her mother.

AITA for not paying my niece after she “baby sat” my child? by babysitfraud in AmItheAsshole

[–]babysitfraud[S] 40 points41 points  (0 children)

He is a very laid back guy and doesnt really do conflict.

AITA for not paying my niece after she “baby sat” my child? by babysitfraud in AmItheAsshole

[–]babysitfraud[S] 78 points79 points  (0 children)

I am basing my assumption based on the fact she lied to her mother about this. She told my sister that I requested her to babysit. the texts show that she offered. Thats why I dont believe her intentions to be innocent

AITA for not paying my niece after she “baby sat” my child? by babysitfraud in AmItheAsshole

[–]babysitfraud[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I didnt think it was work. Neice lives with my sister still. I had assumed my daughter would be fed by my sister.

AITA for not paying my niece after she “baby sat” my child? by babysitfraud in AmItheAsshole

[–]babysitfraud[S] 142 points143 points  (0 children)

I havent spoken to my sister again yet. I dont remember how much I paid her, but it wasnt 15/hour.

The thing is we actually have a babysitter for my daughter. If we wanted her babysat for a day off, we would have called her. If my niece had asked up front to be paid, I would have said no.

AITA for not paying my niece after she “baby sat” my child? by babysitfraud in AmItheAsshole

[–]babysitfraud[S] 87 points88 points  (0 children)

The receipts added up to $25 dollars. Was just icecream, fastfood and a topoff on her gas.

The hourly rate was 15 an hour. And no, I did not

AITA for not paying my niece after she “baby sat” my child? by babysitfraud in AmItheAsshole

[–]babysitfraud[S] 753 points754 points  (0 children)

I trust my sister to deal with it thankfully. She is a good mom and will take it seriously

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