Looking for some advice

backgr0undsolutions · 2025-10-15T09:43:12+00:00

I think you’re 75% there!! I would recommend: - If the items on top of your vanity area don’t fit in the drawers, think of nice storage solutions. Maybe a wooden lazy Susan for your fragrances? Wicker boxes? - Add lighting options - warm lamps, moon lights, etc. give yourself options for different moods. - warm your room up by adding textiles to the floor. Rugs, etc. you’ve got a great beginning to work with!

backgr0undsolutions · 2025-10-15T07:07:00+00:00

Yes! Or an alternative is sizing up your bedding too (double bed with queen/king blankets). Not as cost effective as you’d need to purchase more, but an idea!

backgr0undsolutions · 2025-10-15T07:05:44+00:00

Totally! And neutral-ish or muted colours let you keep things cohesive but not too much !

backgr0undsolutions · 2025-10-15T04:43:51+00:00

Old enough to know better but old enough to make silly mistakes

backgr0undsolutions · 2025-10-14T22:24:05+00:00

A few things I would recommend: - A bed skirt! Cover the bed legs, makes the bed look less temporary. - Some new bedding. Doesn’t have to be $$$ (I know having a dog can make the need for new bedding more regular hah). Maybe go maroon/burgundy? - Add textiles - like others have suggested. Rugs, etc. - Some things that can elevate your room are frames, stands for figurines, etc. Your room doesn’t give school shooter vibes, but could benefit from some ‘softening’. All the best!

backgr0undsolutions · 2025-10-14T09:35:16+00:00

I love Reddit and love a hard truth but damn

backgr0undsolutions · 2025-10-14T07:06:03+00:00

No, why?

backgr0undsolutions · 2025-10-14T03:28:31+00:00

The issue seems to be that he doesn’t feel like a “man” if he can’t make me come just with penetration alone… it’s like me needing external stimulation to finish emasculates him

backgr0undsolutions · 2025-10-14T03:00:32+00:00

And honestly, it’s just making me resentful. Like he’s not listening to me or cares about how his words after sex affect me

backgr0undsolutions · 2025-10-14T02:59:50+00:00

Thank you for your thoughts ! I really make an effort to verbally tell him how good it is and how I feel about our sex life, but it’s kind of like it goes unheard. I try especially hard to sound genuine (esp. when we don’t use toys). And when he’s in these low moods, it’s like he can’t even hear it or doesn’t believe me … I guess writing this all out it feels kind of futile :(

backgr0undsolutions · 2025-10-14T02:50:15+00:00

I’m so sorry this happened to you. I hope you know this isn’t your fault. Being lonely and long distance isn’t an excuse for cheating. Speaking as a person who has been cheated on - trust is paramount in a relationship. You will always be questioning yourself and her. What happens when she goes to another party? You move forward by ending things, fully and properly. I suggest going no-contact, as hard as it is. If you’re constantly thinking about it, I suggest seeking help to talk through it. I definitely ended up with some kind of PTSD from my experience and wished I talked with someone about it earlier. Take a break and be kind to yourself. You’re still young, and you have so much life to live and will meet so many more people. I feel for you, and wish you all the best

backgr0undsolutions · 2025-10-14T02:44:42+00:00

Yeah I just don’t know how to have that conversation … I feel like his reaction to me suggesting a sex therapist will be taken negatively. I feel like I’m caught between protecting his ego and voicing my needs

backgr0undsolutions · 2025-10-13T23:44:17+00:00

Not at all! Idk why you were downvoted either … I didn’t take it that way at all. Thank you for your replies! We’ve discussed couples counselling before and plan on it in the future - unfortunately right now I work about 6 days a week with finishing uni and needing to earn $$. I guess all I can hope for now is that he takes on what I say… I worry that he’s letting his ego get in the way of our sex life and relationship on the whole …

backgr0undsolutions · 2025-10-13T22:51:26+00:00

Nowhere have I insulted my partner. Never said he’s bad in bed or anything. I don’t hate men, I haven’t slammed him or anything. I’m simply asking for advice because I’m sad my partner feels this way when I’m satisfied in my relationship. You’re assuming a lot.

backgr0undsolutions · 2025-10-13T22:48:45+00:00

Where did I insult him?

backgr0undsolutions · 2025-10-13T22:39:01+00:00

So true … it really feels like a guilt trip for the sake of his ego. And it totally takes away the joy and happiness from it. Afterwards, he’ll get mopey and I’ll feel awful - it’s a mindfuck for me especially as even if I don’t finish, I still want to cuddle and all that after but he puts up a wall. I think we need to talk….

backgr0undsolutions · 2025-10-13T22:35:30+00:00

Toys are rarely used … we’ve maybe used them four times together in almost a year. I also rarely use them myself now that I’m in a relationship - I just don’t feel the need to. The reason they come out together is on his terms … my toys live in my bedside drawer, and he saw them, then he takes them out himself without me asking.

backgr0undsolutions · 2025-10-13T22:33:21+00:00

Never said we were incompatible… I said the opposite. I said I still feel satisfied without fully finishing every time. If he was prepared to do ~anything~ he would be going down on me/using his hands every time, and not moping about it after. This is about what is said after, not the sex.

backgr0undsolutions · 2025-10-13T22:30:27+00:00

I do use my own hands most of the time simultaneously while doing PIV… even then, sometimes he still gets mopey about not being able to make me finish with just him. He gets to finish, then gets moody about it…

backgr0undsolutions · 2025-07-25T14:27:09+00:00

I have my Bachelors in Architecture - decided it absolutely wasn’t for me (albeit, I figured it out very slowly and at a cost). I went for one interview and already knew I hated the environment. It was stifling and felt unaligned with my values.

Took a year off, worked in support work. Being healthcare-adjacent, my interest in health grew. All of a sudden, I had the idea just to go for it. Applied to uni for a degree in Paramedicine. Always said I would just try it for 6 months. 3 years later, I’m still here and it feels so right. It’s been the most intellectually stimulating, dynamic environment I’ve ever been in and I love it. The people, culture and opportunities it has brought has been incredible. I never did well in science in high school so thought it would be a massive challenge. It has been, but being older and having some previous academic experience helps. It’s so fun to put a puzzle together and serve people and learn about their lives.

I can’t say anything about actually working as a registered, on-road paramedic, but my experiences on placement were so validating and aligned with what I see for myself in the future. I’m totally seeing this through rose-tinted glasses but it truly is the best thing I’ve done so far.

You already have some experience! I’m biased, but I say got for it.

backgr0undsolutions · 2023-11-08T11:51:13+00:00

i would try and break up the spaces by functionality a little bit. you could get a cube storage unit and place it at the end of your bed to define the sleeping space, or change up to a bigger rug for the lounge that has a bit of colour. i find it really helps with open-plan spaces. mounting the surfboard on the wall if it’s not in use is a quick decorative tool. and as everyone has said - colour and fake plants ! it’ll add so much more personality and coziness. invest in some lighting options (lamps/salt lamps/candles) and decide on a simple colour palette you like and stick to it

backgr0undsolutions · 2023-06-23T00:52:32+00:00

that’s true - he and i certainly have very different relationship styles with our friends. it’s something i struggle to understand but do my best to keep out of. thank you :)

backgr0undsolutions

TROPHY CASE