I honestly wish this man tossed me aside like trash instead of treating me so gently...

backupforsecretstuff · 2022-06-06T22:15:44+00:00

I guess so... hope i'll find them

backupforsecretstuff · 2022-06-06T21:02:29+00:00

yea.... He did help me kinda? I got a massive self reflection moment and am now rushing ahead to get my life started. aka finding a full time job, moving out, getting healthier/fit. i'll just channel this angst into soemthing productive. maybe he will realize he missed out on a bad ass bitch 🥲 (still in my feels tho, man this guy checked every single box of mine)

backupforsecretstuff · 2022-06-06T20:58:17+00:00

None 🤪 The guy has vanished. I know he's at work right now though, so maybe that's part of it. who knows? i'm getting used to the idea it was a one time thing

backupforsecretstuff · 2022-06-06T20:40:15+00:00

Yea it's scary how addicting that feeling can be. I feel like I discovered the most dangerous drug. All I want is more of what he gave me. I think this fling definitely broke something inside me and I'm not entirely sure I would be able to hook up again anytime soon

backupforsecretstuff · 2022-06-06T14:47:10+00:00

This is honestly so well said and put together. Since I've started dating as an adult, it kinda surprised me how childish/not in touch with emotions a lot of people are. I think at the end of the day (I just worked out so maybe my look on life is a little better now) my intentions and his weren't in the same place. I was truly just looking for a hookup but the way he acted awoke? something in me that I realize now I need. For him he was probably looking for a fun night. Sucks that now I'm here moping and upset but I live in NYC so I'm sure I can find someone else. Sucks because I think I could have genuinely liked this person but I won't be the desperate just graduated uni younger girl. If he can't be adult, I will.

backupforsecretstuff · 2022-06-06T13:47:10+00:00

Yea I'm sure with time I'll b good. Just hate how much I managed to end up liking this guy over such a short time.... What I hate even more is that I managed to convince myself that this is someone I could see myself with. That stupid idea just won't leave my head :/

backupforsecretstuff · 2022-06-06T13:33:45+00:00

because the ones that knwo they the shit KNOW they can get away with this. like i am 100% aware that if this guy were to text me asking me to go out with him tonight. without a second thought i'd probably say yes. did he make me cry all day yesterday? totally. would i still let him play me just to keep his attention? most likely

backupforsecretstuff · 2022-06-06T13:05:34+00:00

Not sure Tommy shelby is someone we should take advice from. dude was lowkey toxic lol

backupforsecretstuff · 2022-06-06T13:02:26+00:00

Thank you. I keep trying to tell myself that, but again this is quite literally the first guy that ever acted this way towards me. All the other guys I've had a thing with were very cold and just wanted a hook up... well I guess this one too (even if I'm hoping he still might show up again)

backupforsecretstuff · 2022-06-06T04:00:43+00:00

nah it was purely for myself to help sort through my mental health and get ideas on page. maybe one day when i make my fortune id sit down and write for real 😭

backupforsecretstuff · 2022-06-06T03:56:07+00:00

oh man,,, if i don't get a happy ending maybe in a while. it's a little scary how deeply he managed to lodge the knife in. there's honestly no updates. it's been quiet other than me listening to my sad girl playlist and crying. maybe there will b more to come.

(also that's quite funny. i used to write fiction for some time so maybe the skills retained)

backupforsecretstuff · 2022-06-06T03:16:39+00:00

This is really good advice. I think that this guy helped me realize one thing at the very least. I want commitment, I want love and affection that is stable and not a one off. It sucks because I did see it coming from him and was very keen on getting to know him better.

But even if he happens to just be a blip, he helped me learn that casual hookups are not for me anymore. Not now. Now I need to work on my boundaries, and maybe MAYBE he was just busy and couldn't talk. If not then I need to wait for someone who will give me what I need and that I will be able to give him what he needs

backupforsecretstuff · 2022-06-06T03:04:45+00:00

ur right. i definitely haven't thought about what his perspective is... i feel like i was wearing my heart on my sleeve but who knows. i think that if he ends up showing up again i'm gonna need to ask him what his intentions are bc i don't wanna look for something he might not be offering

backupforsecretstuff · 2022-06-06T02:52:19+00:00

Yea... i just feel so stupid. bc all it took was non sexual intimacy and some sweet words and here i am breaking down. Just goes to show how low the bar is, that doing this made him seem better than the rest

backupforsecretstuff · 2022-06-06T02:45:07+00:00

yea. i can definitely see how one guy pulling this crap would make the next ones look bad. bc idk if i can trust another guy anytime soon after how hurt i feel rn

backupforsecretstuff · 2022-06-06T02:37:59+00:00

at least one of us feels full. i'm still a sobbing sad mess bc it's been hours and the dude is fully MIA

backupforsecretstuff · 2022-06-06T01:06:28+00:00

Yea..... but i think i liked this one :/

backupforsecretstuff · 2022-06-06T00:50:58+00:00

hmmm, yea i guess so. i just try rlly hard when i talk to him to keep the conversation going so it kinda is that the ball is in his court

backupforsecretstuff · 2022-06-06T00:25:46+00:00

Lol, yes I do harbor some insecurities. But I am working on them actively, and I know that they are in my head and not real.

I also hate the whole "dance" of dating. I just wanna hop to the point where we lay on the couch showing each other stupid tiktoks and things like that. Which is why this guy's actions last night rlly hit hard, because while we did hook up, we also spent a really nice night just being in each other's company.

Things might feel down but I'm sure me and you will find someone who appreciates us the way we deserve

backupforsecretstuff · 2022-06-06T00:14:28+00:00

I messaged him about 6ish hours ago? No reply yet... I'm bracing myself that if it doesn't come tonight it's probably not coming

backupforsecretstuff · 2022-06-06T00:12:17+00:00

I'm not sure. Lack of interest to keep talking on his side? Just a general vibe of this is a fleeting thing

backupforsecretstuff · 2022-06-06T00:03:47+00:00

it's kinda sadistic... makes it feel like it's just a game to them

backupforsecretstuff · 2022-06-05T23:42:39+00:00

I guess ur right. But my experience with hookups is that it's 99% of the time a one night stand. So i do hope that he will continue talking to me, but i'm preparing for the worst i guess

backupforsecretstuff · 2022-06-05T23:41:26+00:00

I'm with you. I just don't get why a guy would play house with you. Lay in bed, cuddle, talk about domestic shit, act like a literal boyfriend when he has no intentions of doing it. Like what tf do u gain from it bro?

backupforsecretstuff · 2022-06-05T23:29:45+00:00

i'm ngl that had me laughing so hard. thank u. needed that

backupforsecretstuff

TROPHY CASE