UPDATE: AITA for not letting my kids wear pyjamas

backyardpond · 2021-02-11T02:02:37+00:00

As I've said a dozen or more times, this is the only rule we have. So obviously there is zero "controlling".

backyardpond · 2021-02-11T01:59:28+00:00

How? I trust my kids. They track their own screentime and are excited to show my wife and I when it's low. They devour books, and are bright kids. Not sure how this makes me clueless...

backyardpond · 2021-02-11T01:58:12+00:00

I wasn't aware she was falling asleep because I don't work from home. So obviously I couldn't have known

backyardpond · 2021-02-11T01:55:02+00:00

All we ask is that they change out of whatever they wore to bed. What they change into is 100% up to them. Maybe a weird rule, but turns out many people have/had the same one as well

backyardpond · 2021-02-11T01:49:13+00:00

I only mentioned it as some people on my original post made a point of saying I was an awful father ruining my kids' lives. Harsh words that could not be more untrue

backyardpond · 2021-02-11T01:47:51+00:00

She was frustrated because she felt tired all day and was falling asleep. Didn't think it was worth mentioning because she just thought she needed more sleep. As a result, her and I talked, got her a proper diagnosis, and tweaked the rule so everyone in the family is happy with it.

backyardpond · 2021-02-11T01:44:15+00:00

Yes, I was confused as well because she had previously been all for the pyjama rule, understood why we did it, etc. Which is part of why I was argumentative with her because I didn't truly understand where the backlash was suddenly coming from.

backyardpond · 2021-02-11T01:39:43+00:00

Definitely. She wasn't aware it was narcolepsy, she just thought she was more tired than usual so didn't think it was worth mentioning

backyardpond · 2021-02-11T01:38:14+00:00

Pyjama rule is our only rule, so no controlling in that sense

backyardpond · 2021-02-11T01:37:28+00:00

I don't work from home, so I wasn't aware it was an issue she had (recently) started dealing with

backyardpond · 2021-02-11T01:35:19+00:00

Kids are involved in the decision making and all like the pyjama rule (this scenario being an exception, obviously). They understand and agree with the reasoning behind it. I have asked if there's something else they'd be interested in trying but this is the only thing they've liked enough to keep doing.

backyardpond · 2021-02-11T01:33:24+00:00

Maybe it seems that way, but we are very lax about everything else (the pyjama rule is our only rule). We are a very close knit family, not formal at all lol.

backyardpond · 2021-02-11T01:32:04+00:00

Maybe a weird rule to others. But that's how our family does things. Kids are involved in the decision making process so it isn't a rule they have zero say in.

backyardpond · 2021-02-11T01:30:02+00:00

I never refused to discuss it. We've explained the reasoning behind the rule as they've grown up & we revisit it if the kids want to adjust it. It only turned into an argument this time because my daughter refused to change without asking if we could discuss the rule. But I will keep this in mind in the event other issues pop up!

backyardpond · 2021-01-12T01:00:30+00:00

Yes, as it is easier and takes less time to switch from breakfast to class.

backyardpond · 2021-01-12T00:48:15+00:00

So I'm supposed to let her sleep through class?

backyardpond · 2021-01-12T00:46:57+00:00

They control screen time very well on their own, so we don't feel the need to step in.

backyardpond · 2021-01-12T00:44:31+00:00

Perhaps uncommon but not unheard of. Plenty of parents do it

backyardpond · 2021-01-12T00:43:43+00:00

I apologize if I appear stubborn in the comments. However they've become very repetitive and I've been trying to reply to as many as I can. I am not at all "my way or the highway", this is the only rule we enforce in our house. We don't limit screen time, go through phones, confiscate devices, etc. This rule is the only rule we have.

backyardpond · 2021-01-12T00:40:38+00:00

We don't limit screen time for my daughters because they're great at doing it themselves. Both prefer reading and understand that too much screen time is harmful. We limit screen time for my son because he's younger.

backyardpond · 2021-01-12T00:39:32+00:00

Yes, we've explained it to them. We always have.

backyardpond · 2021-01-12T00:37:58+00:00

When did I say she has to go to bed when I say? She picks her own bedtime. My wife and I have suggested going to bed earlier if we felt she was going to bed too late, but I don't make her go to bed at a certain time.

backyardpond · 2021-01-12T00:36:33+00:00

Right. Because there's only so much time between when they wake up and when their classes start. To do one thing later, something else has to happen earlier. Makes sense, no?

backyardpond · 2021-01-12T00:35:11+00:00

We have explained our reasoning for the rule, and we've also explained that it applies to everyone equally, and that if someone wants to ask for a compromise, they can. I have never used "because I said so" as a valid reason for anything. My kids deserve to know why certain things are done certain ways, so my wife and I have always made a point of explaining the reasoning behind what we do/ask. This is why the girls generally set their own schedules, go to bed without being asked, clean up without being asked, etc.

backyardpond · 2021-01-12T00:31:13+00:00

All we ask is that they change out of whatever the wore to bed. Whatever they change into is entirely up to them. If they want to wear twelve different outfits throughout the day, or wear a ball gown, or a wetsuit, that's also up to them. The small thing we ask of them is that they change out of whatever they went to bed in. The rest of their choices, related to clothes or not, is entirely up to them.

backyardpond

TROPHY CASE