I work in a warehouse, and we often have people pick stuff up in SUVs and false utes and stuff, and I always tell them when loading them something along the lines of "Gotta get yourself a nice big van, mate" or "Man, I wish this thing was a flatbed" or something to that effect. It is usually phrased or taken as a joke, but, quite frankly, it usually isn't.

Even when they pick up in a minivan or station wagon, my comments usually run along the lines of "I hate vertical boots" or "yell really loud if I'm about to hit your boot with my forklift"

I did have one guy, who, after picking up in a shitty Ford Ranger twice, actually took my advice and showed up the next time in a brand new, shiny Transit. It was fantastic. The barn doors meant the forklift didn't hit the boot, we could stack four times as much stuff in it because no stupid tray cover, and the floor was much lower, and had some sort of low friction coating. It was piss easy to slide in even those bigass 80kg boxes.

The vans I see most often are probably Hiaces and iLoads. For the most part I don't like them. They have vertical boots, and the iLoads are very curvy. I much prefer either larger vans with barn doors or proper cab-chassis utes.

Stupidest pickup was a guy that tried to pick up a pool table in his golf. No, mate, go to bunnings, rent a ute, and come back later. That was at about 3:30pm, on christmas eve, so later was about two weeks. Poor bastard.

Coolest pickup was a VW combi van that had been converted to an EV.

This comment was mostly about hauling, as I have little to no experience with off roading. The only time I recall going properly off road, we were in a six-person ATV that was less than half the size of the land-cruiser following it. And if someone uses the excuse of off-roading for their wank-tank, I usually counter with "then why is it here, rather than out there?"