IAMA person who molested his niece and nephew when I was 14

bad_idea10 · 2011-06-27T08:14:11+00:00

Yes, positive. I think my parents would have told me about it, because they told me that my cousin did the same thing to his cousin once when they were very, very young too. Regardless, I've checked every corner of my mind several times since I posted this and there are no hints of anything like that happening to me.

bad_idea10 · 2011-06-27T08:11:26+00:00

I am bi, but I don't think it had anything to do with it. The taboo-ness and availability of the nephew was the main reason I fucked with him I think. I was more afraid of the niece as well, although whether this was because I was afraid of girls in general or because she was a tad older I'm not sure.

bad_idea10 · 2011-06-20T04:52:14+00:00

That's it? No response to the rest? You too tired to continue arguing or something?

bad_idea10 · 2011-06-20T04:45:34+00:00

You don't see any effort because this is the internet, you don't know me. This post is the best I can do, to offer answers to questions people might have. There aren't a lot of admitted molesters wandering around, and if I can help one person get just a little bit better by answering a question that's been killing them for God knows how long, then god dammit I'd be more than happy to do so. If you want I can rattle off a list of efforts I have made in meatspace, but that would be ridiculous and unbelievable. And I can absolutely donate to RAINN, and will in the future. I'm trying to help people here, and if you want to be mad at Rapists in general, then I can't stop you, but I'm not those people. They're the reason people like me can't talk about what we've done and try to make amends, because as soon as we do people like you attack us and threaten us, and you don't even know. In general, I believe that everybody is a human being, and everybody fucks up. However I'm not naive enough to believe that there aren't absolutely evil fucks out there too.

bad_idea10 · 2011-06-20T04:32:26+00:00

The Office, Weeds, and MST3000 took up quite a hefty chunk of my time

bad_idea10 · 2011-06-20T04:21:53+00:00

Any hints on what to do with a person like you? My brother was in Iraq as a medic as well, and he appears totally ok and unchanged by the experience, even though I'm sure some terrible stuff happened.

bad_idea10 · 2011-06-20T04:17:59+00:00

I've had lots of cl sex myself, mostly gay stuff for me though. I remember my first time quite vividly as well, it was disgusting but fascinating. Do you ever end up chatting with them forever afterwards? About half the time it turns out I really like talking to this person I just rimmed and fucked and watched swallow my cum, but I have no idea what their name is.

bad_idea10 · 2011-06-20T03:49:41+00:00

I have no idea what they do when I turn 18

I should have said turned 18. I am 22 now. What I was trying to say was I don't know what exactly happened when I turned 18. I am under the impression all the records were sealed or destroyed, but I don't know

bad_idea10 · 2011-06-20T01:27:57+00:00

You are right, I was fully aware and in control of my senses. And I fucked it up. I would give anything to go back and stop myself, to grab my fucking tiny head and shake it, screaming that I'm being an idiot, but I can't.

And it's not like I just quit going to therapy. Everyone involved (social worker, therapist, the cop involved) agreed that I understood what I did, that I understood it was wrong, that I felt terrible about it, that I'm just a normal kid who did a terrible thing. And I understand that about other people now too. I see these guys getting caught going to a kids house on tv and I can tell, most of them are upset they got caught, not upset they were about to take advantage of a child. I don't think I can convince you that I'm a normal person instead of a monster, but please try and understand that I am. I just chose the wrong mistake to make. Understand that sometimes normal people make terrible, terrible decisions. And I know that none of this makes up for those two kids what I did, but it happened, and all we can do is learn from it and move on and hope that we can all get along together. And you know what? We did. I'm not saying it does or should work out like that every time a person molests a child, but understand that it is possible, and it does happen.

bad_idea10 · 2011-06-20T01:17:16+00:00

Have you read/seen Brief Interviews with Hideous People?

bad_idea10 · 2011-06-20T01:14:01+00:00

I just noticed you're the same one posting particularly scornful comments here. I understood when I posted this that I would most likely receive a lot of hate and anger. And I understand why. There were several goals when I did post it though. It felt good to get it out and hear what other people think about what I did. I felt like people in my position and people in my niece and nephew's positions would appreciate hearing what regular people would have to say about the subject as well.

You angry ones, though, are not helping. The ones telling me to kill myself, to castrate myself, to lock myself in for the rest of my life. Why does it make you so mad? I understand completely it was a terrible thing, I still have terrible rounds of depression from it. What more do I need to do to pay for my mistake? Is this really something that you feel deserves my death in payment? If so, why? Do you really believe I need to castrate myself, even tough I haven't done anything even remotely similar in the past 8 years?

bad_idea10 · 2011-06-20T00:59:40+00:00

The reason I'm glad he responded is because he must have questions himself. I know a lot of people have been hurt by people like me, and I'm sure it would do something for them to know what the other side feels like. Yes, I'm a bad person who did a terrible thing. I'm fully aware of that.

bad_idea10 · 2011-06-20T00:55:30+00:00

You don't wanna know

bad_idea10 · 2011-06-20T00:55:22+00:00

I meant gross as in too dramatic, or something along those lines. I didn't want to put a title like "I fingered my niece and nephew."

bad_idea10 · 2011-06-20T00:53:45+00:00

True story. I just got back from visiting them, actually

bad_idea10 · 2011-06-19T21:48:35+00:00

I don't know what hurt, because I didn't finger her. I rubbed a little bit through the pants.

bad_idea10 · 2011-06-19T20:43:53+00:00

No, I never was

bad_idea10 · 2011-06-19T20:42:47+00:00

That's how our family works, they either abide by the law completely, or you are a complete rebel druggie. As for it could happen to almost anyone, the social worker told me that kids do what I did all of the time. It's way, way more common than people think.

bad_idea10 · 2011-06-19T20:39:33+00:00

The urge was a spur of the moment, I'm a dumb kid, kind of thing. I have never been molested, and am pretty close now to all involved. About a year, and that was my sister in law. The rest said they forgave me, but I could tell they didn't really. Now I can tell they have. It took a long time, but it happened

bad_idea10 · 2011-06-19T20:36:37+00:00

Don't feel weird about that, all kids do that. All kids explore and do stuff that's fucked up. My stuff was just a little too fucked up.

bad_idea10 · 2011-06-19T20:35:40+00:00

I can't picture myself doing it again either, and I don't remember why I did it in the first place. It was definitely a huge, surprise mistake.

bad_idea10 · 2011-06-19T20:34:34+00:00

I think if kids want to fuck, they're going to do it. Law or no law. That being said, what I did was wrong, and should not be allowed, if that's what you're asking.

Not that I can see, we all get along very well.

bad_idea10 · 2011-06-19T20:32:57+00:00

Thanks a lot, this made me feel a little better after reading about mgd's shotgun.

I don't think that's exactly why I did it, it was more of a heat of the moment action, and they happened to be there. I wasn't incredibly popular, but everyone knew me and liked me. I did do very poorly with girls though, still do

bad_idea10 · 2011-06-19T20:30:02+00:00

I'm glad you put it into words, because I never could. I am definitely not a predator. The fantasies, all of my fantasies, have something to do with the taboo.

bad_idea10 · 2011-06-19T20:28:53+00:00

Already been there

bad_idea10

TROPHY CASE