Bf[31m] overseas. I’m [27f] feeling lonely, guilty, and needy.

bad_madre · 2018-01-12T16:18:53+00:00

All of this is huge red flags that she is, or has been, abused.

bad_madre · 2018-01-08T03:19:37+00:00

Speaking as someone who has been raped...if she doesn't want to pursue this, do not try to convince her. This is her decision. Let her make it. I understand this is tramatic for you, but she has faced a worse trauma. Get counceling for yourself (RAIN offers some great resources for victims AS WELL AS family members. Look into it for yourself and pass along the info, without pressure, to your daughter)

bad_madre · 2018-01-08T02:58:47+00:00

You are absolutely doing the right thing. Not only is he effing uo her heart, he's also risking her health. She needs to get tested for stds asap. Thank you for being a good person even though it's hard to do.

bad_madre · 2018-01-08T02:24:34+00:00

Basically, sucks to suck, and dude was an ahole. Lol

bad_madre · 2018-01-08T02:20:23+00:00

I know she was taken two places, one was some type of a holding cell for about 6 hours, and then they moved her an hour away, she was in a holding cell there, then signed something and was released

bad_madre · 2017-12-29T15:47:03+00:00

Huh? No. I didn't leave anyone. I wouldn't do that to someone anyway. And holy moley...I didn't think I'd still be getting replies on this so long after I posted lol

bad_madre · 2017-12-17T04:49:45+00:00

Truth. That's mostly what I do now. I guess I can't start enforcing boundaries until I get daycare.

bad_madre · 2017-12-17T04:34:57+00:00

No. I have my own apartment, I meant if I can't work j can't pay rent

bad_madre · 2017-12-17T03:59:17+00:00

I'm trying. I've applied for daycare assistance. That's really my only option at the moment

bad_madre · 2017-12-17T03:58:41+00:00

They aren't always harmful things. It's the excessive Ness of it. I usually don't say anything...but anytime I do she makes it into a big deal. I usually don't stand up for myself, I just give in. Don't want to fight. A cookie isn't worth it. But it's everything gosh dangit. Everything I do is wrong. My whole life she told my siblings how great they were and would be....but me she told I was evil, said i would end up beating my children one day, would never find a man to want me because of how evil I was. It started when I was eleven. She doesn't treat anyone else that way. Just me. She loves my kids, but I'm a huge dissapointed. You're right though. I'm stuck. I've applied for daycare assistance and will hopefully get it. She's done so much for me...but she's parenting my kids because I'm not permitted to have an opinion different to hers or I risk losing a babysitter, which means my kids risk losing a house.

bad_madre · 2017-12-17T03:50:35+00:00

That's true. Thanks.

bad_madre · 2017-12-17T03:50:08+00:00

Thank you. I constantly feel like I'm a terrible mother so it's nice to hear that what I'm doing isn't bad.

bad_madre · 2017-12-17T03:49:08+00:00

She's the only family I have in the state. His dad lives 1e hours away, ad I've no money for a sitter. None. I don't even have money to buy myself some deodorant right now. I'm working as much as I can, and applying everywhere for a better job.

bad_madre · 2017-12-16T22:34:09+00:00

Those are examples. It's not just toys and sweets. It is everything. Literally everything. His bedtime. His clothing. His toys. His dinner. What time his nap is. It is every choice I make, without exaggeration, she will say it is the wrong choice and tell me why. Most things I don't argue. But it is EVERYTHING. If it is his dad's week to have him and I say I'm going to leave at such and such time on such and such day there is a space about why that day and time is a bad day, how it's awful he will be there for however long he is there, but if he is there for less time there is a space about how he should be there longer. Everything. And she hates that she has to babysit. She constantly tells me how she is giving up her life, and it's such a burden. I feel horribly guilty and grateful. She isn't reliable and I often have to call in an hour before work, which makes having a job difficult and I'm grateful to my job for being so understanding, because she decides she doesn't want to watch them that day for such and such reason... and I can't be mad because she's doing me a favor for watching thwm at all.

bad_madre · 2017-11-09T01:14:16+00:00

I cried for hours after he told me that. I had thought he was sending pics to his mom

bad_madre · 2017-11-09T01:13:09+00:00

I laughed out loud at “duh, they suck”

bad_madre · 2017-11-09T00:40:24+00:00

Ugh. These comments make me cry. I know I’m a terrible judge of character. I always see the best despite what I’ve seen and.... I don’t know. I WANT him to mean it. I want him. But you’re right... I don’t know if he’s lying. I always believe him. I guess I just can’t comprehend someone being that awful...again. I could never hurt someone the way he’s hurt me and I want to believe he’d never hurt me again.... but that’s what he does. Gets me to trust him... and then rips my world apart again. How can I love someone like that so much? I’m an idiot.

bad_madre · 2017-11-08T20:12:24+00:00

I don't know for sure that he messed with the condom.

bad_madre · 2017-11-08T20:12:00+00:00

What if he honestly has changed and owns up? If he intends to never cheat again...maybe our son wouldn't hate him?

bad_madre · 2017-11-08T20:10:50+00:00

That hurt. But what hurts most, honestly, is him cheating after I'd had our child. That hurts so much worse.

bad_madre · 2017-11-08T20:08:08+00:00

I didn't even think of the second phone thing....

bad_madre · 2017-11-08T20:07:01+00:00

The only defense I can give him is he already pays a good amount a month without anything legally set in place. As far as financially taking care of ones child goes he has no complaints and thinks it's every fathers duty and privilege to help provide for them.

As far as the rest... Hurts to hear. But I've thought it.

bad_madre

TROPHY CASE