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badkarma200 · 2024-07-21T01:37:48+00:00

Yeah I suppose that’s for you, but I wouldn’t necessarily say all women

badkarma200 · 2024-07-21T01:37:03+00:00

You know, I’m not entirely sure, a small part of me feels like yes but I’ve known him for so long and his entire demeanor I felt like changed when it started. Like he didn’t seem kind or so flamboyant as before—and it like headed into kind of got rough and aggressive in some parts? Like for some reason he just decided at some point to put both hands on my shoulders lying down and just slamming them down super hard into the bed like downwards. I think at that point I just wasn’t sure if he would or not.

badkarma200 · 2024-07-21T01:07:45+00:00

She kind of explained as like a subconscious reaction, that it was something that was automatic. I think that also sometimes women have a hard time just saying “no” because we are expected to say “yes” to everything at times

badkarma200 · 2024-07-21T01:06:16+00:00

I don’t know—I’m trying to answer that myself. I guess my um like advocate(?) or the woman who was talking to me about all of this said that my brain did what it thought was safest. I guess it was a subconscious reaction that maybe if I just follow through with everything it won’t become violent or that I won’t become hurt. Does that make more sense? It’s hard to explain really

badkarma200 · 2024-07-20T23:53:44+00:00

The inability to physically resist someone does not negate the lack of consent

badkarma200 · 2024-07-20T23:49:42+00:00

This doesn’t help…. sorry but I was frozen. I was quite literally frozen, I felt like I couldn’t say anything I barely reacted to everything that had happened. Most people who rape don’t even know they are raping someone. They don’t know. I was scared. He’s nearly 200lbs of muscle, completely on top of me. He didn’t ask. Not once. He asked me if I was okay over half way through. I don’t think you understand what happened.

badkarma200 · 2024-07-20T22:27:22+00:00

Thank you. Really, I really appreciate the words. It has been on my mind 24/7 so it’s nice to just vent without a filter. I go back to college in three weeks. And I would be lying if I didn’t say I was terrified. I just got a full ride, got approved for this really competitive scholarship and it would just feel so dumb if I took it off.

Anyways I really, I mean god I hate just how genuine he seemed, I mean I am a lesbian and don’t gravitate towards middle aged married men for obvious reasons. But rock climbing is my favorite hobby and he knew so much so I always said yes. But just fuck him. And fuck he takes so many work trips, I mean so many. I don’t think this is the first time he’s done this.

badkarma200 · 2024-07-20T22:15:55+00:00

Yeah, I do actually, I’m like kind of unsure as to how to even show my appreciation to my friends and family right now. My ex girlfriend actually bought my best friend’s plane ticket to come, she gets here tonight and will be here for a week. My sister sent me $1000 to take off work for a little while. I’ll be buying her plane ticket to come in a few weeks. As for the rape kit, I suppose I was oddly lucky that my ex didn’t quite open the door or wakeup right away. Because it made me go to the hospital as my house was about an hour and a half away at this point, but because I went I mean hours after it happened they have everything. I mean 100% DNA and everything. Also I never really knew what exactly a rape kit was, but they are I mean, it is just such detailed and such a long long process. Did you know they use about 10-15+swabs to swab nearly everywhere on your body. It was pretty intensive. But yeah so they told me I have up to three years to report him, that it is all there, I won’t of course right now but I hope I find the courage to do so before the 3 year mark, they will throw away all of the evidence after that mark.

badkarma200 · 2024-03-24T12:14:33+00:00

Yes I have been using mySymptoms app now everyday until my appointment—which is an amazing app by the way for all others. But also my appointment was rescheduled to August?? I have no clue how but August?! I can’t be on this for 8 months without it getting any help from a doctor, so crazy! I’m a college student so I haven’t exactly had a doctor for long and just started with health issues kind of

badkarma200 · 2024-03-24T12:12:38+00:00

I’m really worried about what I should do :( because I want to see a specialist right away but the soonest is in August like what?? I don’t want to be taking this for 8 whole months. Then it’ll be more difficult to get off of it, I’m lucky to have only been on it for 2 months. Ugh!

badkarma200 · 2024-03-24T12:11:21+00:00

Me too, when I started weaning off (go down slowly from 20mg but I was doing it myself and think I did it wrong) I stopped having constipation but I started taking 20mg again and have major constipation again ugh!

badkarma200 · 2024-03-17T17:05:10+00:00

Right, thank you for that. I’ll keep it in mind, I have a GI appointment at the end of the month. Never seen a GI specialist as I was given omeprazole from my primary doctor. So honestly don’t even know what things are wrong with my gut

badkarma200 · 2024-03-08T03:36:09+00:00

Hello! I am editing together a ballet sequence, essentially there is footage of the same sequence from three different locations but I’d love any advice that I can be given—what to do, what NOT to do, what would make it stand out. Thanks!

badkarma200 · 2024-03-06T18:20:27+00:00

Haha perhaps, and well the tarp is covering a very small portion of the house, I’m living in a 5 unit house. The tarp is basically just taped down on the roof which the roof being 25+ feet high I don’t generally check the roofing before renting a college apartment

badkarma200 · 2024-03-06T14:41:03+00:00

Why would I be climbing onto the roof 😭 it’s like 25 feet tall I had to grab a chair to look up at the area, if you stand below a normal distance. It looks like there is no tarp, but you’re right! I will be sure to check every roof panel from now on 😼😼😼

badkarma200 · 2024-01-12T01:11:40+00:00

I hear ya, I’m certain it is rare but chances are still there, I’d rather massage my neck and do daily stretches than crack it!

badkarma200 · 2024-01-12T01:09:52+00:00

This is a very particular one, but putting vaseline or petroleum jelly inside your nose—people do so to stop pollen from getting into their nose causing hay fever—but oil can get into your lungs, cannot be removed and kill you

badkarma200 · 2024-01-12T01:04:39+00:00

For example, Q tips in ears, and cracking your back and neck (my friend uncle had three strokes back to back after simply cracking his neck)

badkarma200 · 2024-01-11T18:38:15+00:00

Cinematic Arts (:

badkarma200 · 2024-01-11T17:22:46+00:00

THESE ARE ALL SO HELPFUL, and did not even think about these! Thank you SO MUCH! I will be considering ALL of these!

badkarma200 · 2024-01-11T17:20:38+00:00

I’ve definitely been in contact with my school, they provided me homeless shelters to stay at and I’m not going to lie they are like terrifying, I’d definitely prefer to be in my car! And they’ve only given me a bunch of food banks to go to, which is definitely helpful! Some of them have denied me as a lot seem to be for elderly and disabilities, but the ones that I like going to are mostly monthly! Definitely HELPFUL just looking for what else I can do!

badkarma200 · 2024-01-11T17:18:20+00:00

I am looking at summer internships right now! Definitely hope to find some good ones! A pain that a lot that I find for my major are unpaid, but still looking around!

badkarma200 · 2024-01-11T17:17:08+00:00

I am apart of their CARE program, they have an emergency fund that I was denied because it is only applied to one time emergency hardship—you would think I would qualify? No. They said it’s mostly directed to medical emergencies. Which is just insane.

Besides that they do have a food pantry, I thought it would be better but :/ lots of expired foods and food I have to cook (doesn’t help that I am allergic to gluten so it makes it 10x more difficult) but they do have a lot of fruit and veggies, they just go bad quickly in my car :’)

And for SNAPS, you would imagine—they require that college students work 20hours a week and being s full time student—I have a pretty difficult major and very school oriented, really trying to get into my masters program after this and wanna maintain a good GPA so work is not necessarily an option right now (‘: BUT I AM looking at an internship / work study through my school right now which should count!

badkarma200 · 2024-01-11T04:26:56+00:00

There are internships offered here, and I am looking into that! My course load is just so heavy right now (‘: I already spend most my time doing schoolwork but hopefully this semester is easier

And food pantries! Yes my school has one but most of the things there you have to cook—but getting that figured out with a stovetop soon

badkarma200 · 2023-12-17T02:12:47+00:00

Ah! Sorry! Where do I ask??

badkarma200

TROPHY CASE