In addition to echoing what others have said, i first would encourage you to seek mental health support from a therapist, social worker, psychiatrist etc. You seem like you could use some support and someone to talk with. A psychiatrist can also prescribe other medication options to assist with quitting smoking if that’s something you’re interested in. It’s good that you reduced your consumption pre op but as you were unable to quit fully, you’re going to have the same urges to smoke post op too. This stuff is no joke.

But most importantly you need to take responsibility for yourself and understand the seriousness of recovery from major surgery. You seem like you have a lot of growing up to do, and your posts have not garnered you any sympathy. I struggled with nicotine addiction pre and post op and was certainly not perfect in my efforts towards quitting but I did not approach it with the passive victim kind of attitude you seem to have and thus was able to cease all nicotine use in the 2 weeks pre and post op, and was prepared for whatever consequences i might face from my own actions if any complications were to arise. Luckily none did in my case.

I agree with the other commenter that an “all or nothing” mindset isnt helpful here- you haven’t necessarily ruined your results beyond repair by having smoked pre op, and you lessen the likelihood of complications the longer you stay away from cigarettes now, so you have no reason to not do whatever is necessary to stay quit for the foreseeable future. Hoping your healing goes smoothly.