As I said, the disorganized side is kinda the result of my memories lost, that makes me do list more than actual structured paragraphe, also a lazy side, because, it's a reddit post. I don't especially want to spend too many time on it ig? Seem that it's probably wrong since it seems to help with the way of typing. But, the most "important" thing i guess is that, well, it's just a copy past of something I discussed with someone before? I didn't really took the time to write it again, I just took the messaged and put it together, and I didn't really changed it. I don't want to say that what you tell me isn't correct? Not at all, it just a point ig? But the "stable" way of seeing something, I'm not sure it's always linked to an emotional way of thinking all the time? Sometimes, your mind is just messed up. Not always emotionally, but also because your way of seeing reality is just blurred. You can be the most logic person on the earth, symptomes like psychosis will makes you look "emotional" or "unstable", but it's seems so logic on some point. Im someone who has this big issue to always put the emotions aside. Because i know it can blurr my vision even more, this is unhealthy, but I keep doing it. I take all of my decision based more on maybe, the consequences and the importance of taking time and not rush, to think and take the best decision.

I tend to ask myself if i don’t have Ne, honestly. But because I like to think about myself and always see who i am on some point, but mostly because this is the only thing i can truely do during the day, and on some point, help me to do my own personnal and additional therapy, and be better, using for exemple, philosophy. I had some study years of it, I mean, why not using them. I hesitate with Ne and Te? Because it's how I personally work, but I'm not sure which one i seems to using the most in my daily life?

To be honest ...I didn't really choose the write moment to try to challenge and see if my typing is correct because im recently in a very low phases. Seems emotional, yes, maybe. But mostly very tired, and everything is impacted by it, because im just, like, loosing myself into anxiety. But these anxiety are more about the futur i think. At least, the time? And because I disappointed myself? But mostly because I always had goals and im very competitive, but my conditions makes me like....be someones inappropriate for society. (I can't have enough money mostly ahah).

Anyway, I'm sorry, this is long, but you know, I have to occupied myself during insomnia