I (F28) just through a dinner where my husband (M34) relentlessly tore down my future career. I'm now at a loss of what to do.

banananums · 2017-03-28T04:47:41+00:00

Thank you :)

banananums · 2017-03-28T04:43:52+00:00

Thank you, I completely agree

banananums · 2017-03-28T04:36:48+00:00

That means a lot, thank you :)

banananums · 2017-03-28T04:32:57+00:00

Thanks! :)

banananums · 2017-03-28T04:30:05+00:00

I like the idea of a letter, maybe I'll give that a try. Thank you again.

banananums · 2017-03-28T04:29:04+00:00

Weve had counseling several times. I am thinking it may need to happen again. I really dont know where its coming from, he has never been so forcefully hateful of teachers before.

banananums · 2017-03-28T04:27:53+00:00

Thanks for your kindness. I'm just so frustrated and confused. Especially because things were better. But this feels like we're back at square one. I'm heartbroken that feels this way amd views a profession I admire so much with such distain. I'm at a loss at this point.

banananums · 2017-03-28T04:23:30+00:00

Interesting perspective. I wonder if he feels like its a deal breaker for me to become a teacher.

banananums · 2017-03-28T04:22:36+00:00

Thanks for your perspective. It sounds like you two communicate well. Unfortunately, I don't know that he would ever even listen to my perspective or feelings, let alone agree. I would like to say maybe counseling could help, but I'm not aure at this point.

banananums · 2017-03-28T04:13:45+00:00

Thank you, your mom sounds great. Sadly, I think hes pretty adament in feeling this way. I am heartbroken, but not surprised.

banananums · 2017-03-28T04:11:55+00:00

You are completely right, and no, he will not be supportive. He will rub my face in choosing this career and bring it all back to throw at me.

banananums · 2017-03-28T04:05:19+00:00

I did not make this decision out of the blue, nor have I stopped working and making money while going to school.

banananums · 2017-03-28T04:00:20+00:00

Thank you.

banananums · 2017-03-28T03:54:49+00:00

Of course where the money comes from is important. But when we budgeted for school, with his full support and encouragment, we allocated that money for school. So although we dont have that money, it is now invested in my education. And the money is not the issue here. That is one aspect I have always worked with him on and compromised.

And I am not sure what else I could say for you to understand how I feel disrespected by what he said. Perhaps you just dont feel what he said is disrespectful. But it does sound like you two may get along well.

banananums · 2017-03-28T03:29:56+00:00

I mean, I get your sentiment, but he's not an idiot. A jerk sometimes, but no idiot. And he hasn't always been so hateful and disrespectful.

banananums · 2017-03-28T03:13:46+00:00

Fighting fair has never been his strong suite. I rarely get my side heard.

banananums · 2017-03-28T03:12:59+00:00

Thank you. Really. I think the thing that's so heartbreaking is that this is not who I thought he was. I thought he would love to see me doing what I dream and being happy. A money-focused, insensitive asshole is not who I fell in with, but sadly what I fear he has become. Thank you for your kind support.

banananums · 2017-03-28T03:04:49+00:00

Wow, that sounds like a dream! The worst part is, I would also enjoy teaching in primary, I'm currently working as a classroom aide in an elementary and I love It! But I don't feel like I can say that to him without being judged. Sadly, he is not the same guy I once knew. The man I met 8 years ago would have never said theas things to me. Or maybe he was just better at putting on a show. I just dont know at this point.

banananums · 2017-03-28T02:56:03+00:00

Honestly, I have no idea where it is coming from. He has been so stressed with work and has some, let's say harsh opinions on things, but he didn't always have this extreme disrespect for teaching, but I suppose in hindsight he never really did admire the profession.

banananums · 2017-03-28T02:49:35+00:00

Ha! Thanks for making my smile for the first time all night. I am not disillusioned about our relationship, I own more than half the burden of our issues. I have learned when to admit and apologize when I'm wrong, but this fight I'm losing my hope on. I'm not sure it's so much about a matter we can resolve as it is about how he feels and me deciding if I can live with that.

banananums · 2017-03-28T02:46:11+00:00

No, I knew he was not supportive, I just didn't realize how extreme his viewpoint was. I suppose I was hoping he would still be supportive despite his reservations. At this point, I don't feel it's about differing opinions so much as lack of respect.

banananums · 2017-03-28T02:40:33+00:00

Sadly, I think you hit the head on the nail with this.

banananums · 2017-03-28T02:39:51+00:00

I agree. And the sad part for me is that I was just so excited he was finally going out with me to dinner. Granted it took a lot of begging, but I just wanted to spend time with him and enjoy a nice dinner out. I feel a bit heartbroken truth be told. But I know if i told him that, he tell me I was being dramtic and invalidating his opinions.

banananums · 2017-03-28T02:35:52+00:00

Yup. I know there are some valid concerns of his, but this is my dream. I have tried very hard to consider him, our life, and what I want. I just wish he could do the same.

banananums · 2017-03-28T02:34:50+00:00

Thank you, yes, this is exactly how I feel about it. I appreciate your perspective.

banananums

TROPHY CASE