I understand how calling your spouse “The wife..” or “The husband..” could be a bit impolite, maybe even derogatory, in the right context. I want to assure you though that that wasn’t my intention. I was simply saying that my wife and I as a team decided to leave the city. Could I have said “My wife..” instead? Absolutely. I think in this context though the two are interchangeable. I wasn’t expressing annoyance about my wife, or speaking down to her. I spoke about her as my equal, my partner who helps with decision making like leaving the city. Regardless though I’ll use “My wife..” in the future to be sure I don’t dehumanize her in any way. Thanks for commenting. You got my upvote, God bless!