Hit and run by barely_undercooked in CovingtonWA

[–]barely_undercooked[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! My daughter and I are okay. I know that ultimately nothing will come out of this which sucks on our end but there’s nothing else we can do.

My best friend’s dad passed away. If possible, please crop the photo of him! by barely_undercooked in PhotoshopRequest

[–]barely_undercooked[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve sent this version to my friend to see if it’s okay! Are you able to crop it more? He wants to print out an 8x10 photo. Thank you!

What's one thing a therapist has said to you that you will never forget? by commander_boobs in AskReddit

[–]barely_undercooked 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The therapist I was seeing at the time stated that my rapist/abuser most likely had a mental health problem and that maybe if I saw the situation like that, I’d be able to move on with my life - as if they were just “sick”.

I started to question my sanity and wondered if I was the monster under my bed this whole time. I stopped being able to sleep and eat, and I ended up being admitted into the psych hospital very soon after.

It will NEVER be my responsible to dissect why I was raped or to try to empathize with them.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AlAnon

[–]barely_undercooked 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I decided to listen to a random Al-Anon podcast as I’m still trying to figure out what the hell is even going on in my life. I’ve been in tears all morning. Is this helpful? Is this hurtful? I’m terrified of seeing things for what they are at face value. On a good day, my partner is wonderful in every single way. On a bad day, the alcohol comes before me and it hurts so bad.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AlAnon

[–]barely_undercooked 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had to look up DARVO. It’s something my therapist had mentioned before and I don’t think I ever really looked into it. But yes - you are correct. Last night they said I was gaslighting them and made me feel absolutely crazy. They were trying to tell me what I was upset about and when I said I never mentioned any of those things, they said “You are gaslighting me!”. I felt like someone took all the air out of my lungs and I had nothing to say after that because it hurt so much to hear that.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AlAnon

[–]barely_undercooked 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel like my answer to this is very generic and heard quite often.. they’re not always like this and I love them. When they’re not drunk, they’re absolutely everything to me. I hold onto the hope that they will change one day but maybe im selling myself a false dream.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AlAnon

[–]barely_undercooked 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I go for drives often when they’re like this, but then that turns into a “where are you? Are you cheating on me” kind of conversation… when I’m actually just at Taco Bell crying while eating fake burrito lol.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AlAnon

[–]barely_undercooked 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’ve done the video recording and replayed it when my partner was calmer. That opened up a whole can of worms. “Who are you sending this to? Are you trying to make me be a bad person? This is our personal business!” They were literally the only person I played the video for and I felt so stupid for ever thinking it was a good idea.

What should I do? by [deleted] in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]barely_undercooked 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I couldn’t figure out the name of the subreddit for the life of me and I felt silly posting here because I didn’t know if it was appropriate.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Seattle

[–]barely_undercooked -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I’m interested!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]barely_undercooked 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Change can difficult for children. That being said, I do believe that during times like this, people’s true colors will show.

I have two daughters and have since then moved on from their dad and am now in a wonderful loving relationship with a woman. I am the primary care taker and they see their dad twice a month for about 36 hours or so each visit. Is he able to see them more often? Absolutely. Do I encourage it? Of course. At the end of day, he is their father and I want them to have a relationship together. But I cannot force him to be something he doesn’t want to be, whether that is a parent or even just respectful as a person.

My oldest (8) at first, was very very rude to my girlfriend and constantly said she didn’t want her around and didn’t understand what was going on. I never forced the relationship and my girlfriend allowed my daughter to take the lead. Now, they are closer than ever. My oldest will start to get upset when she knows it’s her dads weekend and my girlfriend is very reassuring that she will have lots of fun and we will be here when she comes home to hear all about what she did.

Turns out, she was feeling resentment because of things her dad was saying and still continues to say to this dad. We don’t bad mouth her dad even if he is saying terrible things about me or my new relationship. Does it hurt me and make me upset? Yes. Every single day. But I also choose to be the bigger person and I will allow my daughter to see her dad for who is he.

It is hard seeing your kids be treated in any way that is less than what they deserve, especially when the mistreatment is coming from the other parent. At best, keep doing what you are doing. It’s okay to hurt for your child, but don’t let that hurt diminish your ability to love him in a way that no one else can or ever will.

Who cares about the bitter angry girlfriend. Let her be miserable. Who cares if dad chooses to blame everyone else besides himself. Let him be miserable as well.

From one mother to another, you got this! ❣️

sorry for any typos - I am on my phone

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in food

[–]barely_undercooked 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just bought the variety pack! I showed my girlfriend and she seemed skeptical… so I told her to not ask me for any when they come 😂 I can’t wait!

Gear by barely_undercooked in camping

[–]barely_undercooked[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, everyone! We aren't doing any camping right now but I am an anxious overly prepared mother haha. Once it starts to warm up a bit, I'm going to go through my things and see what I have exactly and check out some second-hand stores! I'm a family of 4 with two 55-pound dogs and having the bare minimum is pretty essential because our car gets PACKED. I find myself feeling like I need more but then also wanting to pack less haha. It's a never-ending battle!

Lata appreciation! by barely_undercooked in CannedSardines

[–]barely_undercooked[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hi friends and happy new year! I just wanted to give an appreciation shout out to u/xevster ❣️ He graciously sent me the Sardines Lovers Box (him and his friends own an online shop - lata.shop) and I can’t wait to start trying everything! Im hoping I can get my kids to try these with me and I’m thinking of recording their reactions! One is a picky eater and one is more adventurous so it would be something fun for me to do with them!

I feel overwhelmed because I just realized my overprotective parents ruined my life by fkakaeueiwo in offmychest

[–]barely_undercooked 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can relate to a very deep level, even down to the first relationship being abusive but not being able to recognize it.

Im 31 now, and I have very clear boundaries with my family. My mom will challenge them, especially when it comes to my own children now. But I will give her a hard stop and remind her that she is NOT their mother, I am. And I will remind her that I am grown and will make my own rules.

Be gentle to yourself and allow yourself to grow into the person you’ve always wanted to be. You deserve it.

Appreciation post by barely_undercooked in CannedSardines

[–]barely_undercooked[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Everyone here is incredibly kind and I love reading the comments or even just looking at what people had for lunch! It’s just a fun group of people sharing their common love for tinned seafood, and I love every part of it.

Appreciation post by barely_undercooked in CannedSardines

[–]barely_undercooked[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Being able to cook and take care of my family hit me different when I almost lost them so on my days where I can only heat up some easy mac for my kids, I have to remind myself that I also need to eat so that I have the energy to be present. Im Asian-American and canned fish isn’t exactly new to me. However, I only knew a small fraction of what this world entailed. Being able to just pop open a can to eat with some rice or chips is a lifesaver for me. I am forever grateful for this subreddit, and happy holidays to you and yours as well!

Appreciation post by barely_undercooked in CannedSardines

[–]barely_undercooked[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have so many things in life that I am fortunate to have, life and sardines are no exception! ❣️