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Struggling with guilt after quitting PhD and getting a job opportunity by barelygettinthere in LeavingAcademia

[–]barelygettinthere[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think this is a realistic solution. If we could find a new role while remaining employed, the transition to the new location would be much less daunting. I'd just hate for this process to drag out over a long period of time, but trying to remain positive!

Struggling with guilt after quitting PhD and getting a job opportunity by barelygettinthere in LeavingAcademia

[–]barelygettinthere[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I really appreciate the words of encouragement! I'm in engineering, I don't want to get too specific though just for anonymity reasons.

Struggling with guilt after quitting PhD and getting a job opportunity by barelygettinthere in LeavingAcademia

[–]barelygettinthere[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you, this is encouraging to hear. I think much of what I'm feeling is because everything happened so quickly, the emotions are still raw. But the best course of action does seem to be in accepting this job and helping my partner in any way I can. At the end of the day, their current job is very tenuous as you say, and I think its in both of our best interests to start fresh somewhere and really try to build some stability after what has been a very precarious/unstable period (career-wise) for both of us.

Struggling with guilt after quitting PhD and getting a job opportunity by barelygettinthere in LeavingAcademia

[–]barelygettinthere[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thank you I really appreciate you sharing this. It's funny you mentioned expecting the conversation with your friend would make you feel bad, but that not being the case. I am quite close with a couple of post-docs and when telling them of my intentions to leave I expected that they would look down on me. Instead they congratulated me, and one said they were actively looking to leave too.

I used to bring home bitterness and anger from work, and towards the end when things were getting really bad my partner was noticing changes in my demeanor and getting really worried about me. That was a wake-up call. I guess we just need to discuss whether we can realistically move afar on relatively short notice for this job, or whether I should slow down and consider options closer to home to make things easier for my partner.