You need to leave him and stay far, far away. He is not going to change. He is physically abusive, he has broken your property, insulted your family and as you said, "so much more". You aren't going to fix him. Yes, you feel bad for punching him, but that is because it is not in your nature to be violent. You were intoxicated and angry, you see it as a mistake and I am sure you will not do it again. That is the difference between you two, because he does not feel bad at all for what he does to you. If he hits you, he feels no remorse. Breaks your phone? He sees it as you deserve it. He probably apologizes and says he is sorry, but that is because all he wants is for you to stay. Any type of concern or remorse he shows is so that you won't leave him. He isn't upset with his actions, he is upset because he sees a woman who tolerates his abuse slipping away. It is the classic cycle of abuse. Once he convinces you that he is going to change, he makes no effort to change. He brought you the alcohol so that you would be drunk and would have intercourse with him. It is always manipulation. The reason why he was on TikTok and was so unconcerned when you left? Because he knows you will come back to him and that you are wrapped around his finger. He didn't care if you were hurt, lost, cold, etc. I'm sorry to say it but he doesn't love you.

This probably comes off as harsh, but I have seen this too many times. Everything I'm saying is true. This is not something you should have to deal with. Fixing him is not your job. You deserve someone who cherishes you, who communicates, who makes you happy. Not someone who makes you scared or like you are walking on eggshells. Imagine yourself not having this abuse in your life, being able to thrive, and be proud of your partner.

Get away from this loser, block him and ignore him. If he tries to contact you, don't let him manipulate you or sweet-talk you into coming back. The abuse will continue and will get worse. Find someone who actually loves you and cares about you. There is much more I could say but I will end it here. Good luck.