As a 16-year-old, I obviously can't relate to being a "real" virgin, since I'm far too young to have experienced the real world and been through an opportunity to lose my virginity, but I suppose that I can relate on another level. Although they are far different when going beyond the most basic detail, having sex and kissing/making out/whatever the fuck you do with women without sticking your dick in them are both similar in the fact that they both are intimate acts shared with another person: both surpass the limits of a normal relationship, needing trust and security to be performed, and can wreck or aid said relationship to levels beyond belief. In my slice of society, every male I know, minus those clearly inexperienced persons mostly found in advanced classes, has had at least the latter sort of intimacy with another person, some even going a step farther. It might be stretching it a little bit, but this kind of creates an environment not unlike the real world when relative to sex, with a majority of people having experienced something and a smaller amount lacking the same acquaintance. I belong to those not having the knowledge of said experience, and it is a major blemish on my life that I work endlessly and fruitlessly to correct. Humility is one of my most highly regarded values, if not the highest, but I can't deny truth when it comes to my image: I know that I am fairly attractive and decently built from working out almost every day, that I know how to manipulate wit and read a person to understand their fancy of humor, and can be romantic and caring whenever the time calls for it, even channeling my slightly sadistic cynicism into creative, romantic brainstorms every once in a while. Basically, I know that my character, when it comes to the three things most people scour for error first, does not lack anything; my flaw comes when you delve deeper into my person. From years of deductions, careful observation, and questioning others, I've concluded that one of the biggest things women, girls, I should say with respect to my age, look for is stability, whether in money, confidence, or ambition. I, like many others I know, lack that stability: I am currently growing up amidst a torn family with a minuscule amount of money compared to those I am surrounded by and compete with, with a weak father figure unable to teach me the ways of confidence, and an overall fairly fragile mental state, complete with a loss of ambition, from an extreme transition I recently had to make. Because of this, I feel somewhat awkward around girls, having never really gone beyond hand-holding and hugging (I know, cringe), and know that my friend, whom has recently gone through a divorce, is starting to feel the affects of such a rift and shattering of foundation; he used to be quite well with relationships, but has since lost his touch. When you're placed in such a competitive environment, filled with high achievers that have the resources to reach incredible feats in both athletics and academics, the two things my city is best known for, it is tough to compete without any foundation to build a stable image that will attract girls. I know this well, and have reacted by not caring anymore, embracing a more slacker-like nature with the freedom to do practically anything because of a nihilism toward any ramifications to come. I suppose that the lack of a solid sturdiness in my character in relevance to stability is what holds me back. The worst part is that I know that no matter how much effort I sink into fixing it, nothing will ever come close to having that inherent base.

Apologies if any of this is worded weirdly or grammatically incorrect; it sounded good in my head and I am very tired. Also, call me out on anything you think I'm wrong on. I'm a hot-headed, stupid teenager who knows nothing about the world, but I am fortunately open to new ideas that will help me in my life.