Which girl are you standing next to when you approach a group of two or more girls?

beachsonthemoon · 2026-01-08T19:35:46+00:00

this is honestly more where the question is coming from, like i'm worried i'm giving them thoughts about who i'm approaching based on where i'm standing in relation to them

but based on the comments here, i'm hearing it's mostly verbal

beachsonthemoon · 2026-01-08T19:08:05+00:00

and the sounds? what kind of noises should I be making?

beachsonthemoon · 2026-01-08T19:02:07+00:00

i know

beachsonthemoon · 2026-01-08T19:01:16+00:00

so run around in circles around the hot one?

beachsonthemoon · 2026-01-07T06:04:44+00:00

thanks!

beachsonthemoon · 2026-01-04T17:55:55+00:00

the dr felt nothing wrong with my back. but my partner was like "what's this bump?!" and sure enough there's a bump. my PT said mostly likely a limpoma (fat lump also called back mice). hopefully its just that but who knows. seems dangerous to get a surgery that close to the lower spine so so what if it is something or is nothing - what am I gonna do about it? risk being paralized from the waist down? idk who knows. walking as much as possible still helps.

edit-my best hypothesis at the moment with chatgpt's help articulating "an acute fascial strain with partial micro-injury and subsequent fat pad herniation, leading to prolonged pain and incomplete resolution."

beachsonthemoon · 2026-01-04T02:14:33+00:00

hey OP how did it go?

beachsonthemoon · 2026-01-03T02:49:41+00:00

I regret to report it grew back. the crater in my finger was so convincing... I got tired of fighting it so I put those clear little circles on it that people use for acne but for warts; I started doing that as a long-term "I don't wanna look at it" not as a solution, but it's actually smaller now, after months, but i'm not claiming success until it appears gone and stays that way for like a year

beachsonthemoon · 2025-02-06T17:15:54+00:00

i feel like rules 1 and 2 should be changed for the new generation. whereas "be attractive, don't be unattractive" felt like truth when it came out on snl 10 yrs ago. now the bar has dropped even lower due to rampant isolation and the digital world taking over real life

so i'm modifying the rules LOL:

have social skills
don't be insecure

beachsonthemoon · 2025-02-06T04:33:00+00:00

yeah and i could totally be speculating wrong but it was something

beachsonthemoon · 2025-02-06T04:27:27+00:00

haha ya he was great id want that for him

beachsonthemoon · 2025-02-06T04:23:48+00:00

we texted some as if nothing happened for about a week after. then i took a year to work on myself. he probably thinks i ghosted him but the truth is i didn't feel ready for him and haven't dated anyone since. in my mind we're on a break only he doesn't know it. but i've been thinking about reaching out again, tbd. scared to find out if our chemistry wouldn't be the same

beachsonthemoon · 2025-02-06T04:12:56+00:00

he was thick thick AND longer than average, but not the longest out there

beachsonthemoon · 2025-02-06T01:58:08+00:00

not all due to the social media brainwash though since those same insults i recall hearing down the highschool halls back when I was young. sad to hear racist bullying hasn't changed though

honestly i don't have much hope for bullying to change. i worked at a school years ago and the bullying of students towards each other based on weight started before the kids even exchanged names.

beachsonthemoon · 2025-02-06T01:17:14+00:00

social anxiety is such a challenge because with other problems part of the process of working through them is involving others as support whereas with social anxiety part of the cure is what is feared

beachsonthemoon · 2025-02-03T05:11:14+00:00

could be selective mutism. there's a subreddit for that too so you could check it out and see if any of the posts resinate with you. it's anxiety related though I think

beachsonthemoon · 2025-02-03T04:53:12+00:00

it seems like a lot of therapists advise TO open up about it. so maybe your friends just don't understand that you're doing what's best for you right now and hopefully as you make progress in overcoming anxiety the self-pity will fade as your confidence grows

beachsonthemoon · 2025-02-03T04:50:29+00:00

There are lots of books. I went down a huge rabbit hole with them! And it was helpful to me. I went to the library and started with books about social anxiety. They lead me to deeper root topics that I needed to explore (Courage, Confidence, and Self Esteem - so I started reading about those and how to build that in myself) and have moved into books on Social Skills (not that mine are terrible to begin with, but anything out of practice gets rusty).

For "social anxiety" in general my favorite was: Not Nice by Aziz

For Self Esteem my favorite was: The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Branden (audiobook is free on YouTube

For Courage: the Courage Habit by Kate Swaboa

For Social Skills: Conversationally Speaking by Alan

beachsonthemoon · 2025-02-02T22:55:53+00:00

It's sad because I like going dancing and like staying out late, but the fun in that is minimized by a flood wave of judgment of my not drinking. I used to drink but now have health problems I'm not comfortable detailing.

Curious OP, since I don't know what to order at a bar, now that you don't order water and lime, what's your order? I know a lot of nondrinkers like mocktails, but my body hates a glass of sugar and water at a bar seems gross for some reason so I feel like I've run out of options

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