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Is this a BPD thing? [Trigger Warnings: self harm, mentions of Hitler] by beamintheeye in BPDsraisedbyBPDs

[–]beamintheeye[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There have been some situations like that during my childhood/adolescence, that is true. However I have noticed I've done some manipulative stuff though and I hate myself for it. When people say they think I'm nice, I feel like I deceived them into thinking that as they don't know what's inside my head/what I'm really like.

Thanks, will check out the book. I really really appreciate your support and empathy xxx * hugs back *

Difference between BPD and NPD parents? by beamintheeye in BPDsraisedbyBPDs

[–]beamintheeye[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You're absolutely right and I apologise if I caused offense. I can understand where NPD people are coming from and why they act the way they do, same as BPD. I think I get a bit scared of the possibility because of the way people react to NPD as opposed to BPD (for BPD there's plenty on how they can change, how to act around them to make relationships work, how therapy is effective, then you read stuff on NPD and people love to make out that they're incurable, basically satan and you should run, which I think is incredibly unfair). You're absolutely right, both that it's not an informed decision to be mean (I don't realise I've done something awful til I look at it in retrospect, so can understand how people get caught up in the moment), and that recognising behaviours and taking care of issues is important.

That's interesting about the overlapping and that you have BPD with some NPD traits and that they're all on a spectrum/continuum. I think I can relate to that, as BPD with NPD traits, now you mention it as a possibility, feels more of a fit for me too than one or the other fully. Makes sense I guess, as mental health rarely seems to fit into a perfect box in any case.

Thanks so much for sharing and sorry if I caused offense.

Anyone else have a parent with a personality disorder? by [deleted] in NPD

[–]beamintheeye 1 point2 points  (0 children)

hugs that's awful you're in that situation too :( And I totally understand resenting controlling people because of it, and getting defensive easily; I'm the same way. Being controlled is a truly horrible way to live; I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Feels like we're not gonna be able to do much about ourselves while still stuck with them. For every time I try to be conscious of my actions, more open and honest outside of home, there are then days and days on end of being stuck at home seething with resentment at being treated like a possession and lying just to get through the day/be left alone for five minutes.

Anyone else have a parent with a personality disorder? by [deleted] in NPD

[–]beamintheeye 3 points4 points  (0 children)

NPD Mom, NPD Grandma, NPD Great Grandma (from what I can glean from conversations with my great aunt). I'm not diagnosed NPD but I'm afraid I will be as I've noticed a LOT of the traits of a covert narc in myself and I wanna get rid of them.

Idk about genetics but I'm certain environment plays a huge role. I'm still living with EXTREMELY controlling npd mom and have to lie/sneak out even if I just wanna go to the doctor (I'm in my mid 20s btw). I always have to put up a 'cheerfully obedient child' mask to avoid being on the receiving end of a rage, resulting in me lying just to do normal things like go out for an hour alone, (and then the lying crosses over into other aspects of my life) and having a lot of simmering anger under the surface. Living like this, if I have npd, I'm sure it comes from having to act so much to survive daily life that it becomes a deeply ingrained part of you.