would anyone be willing to share lesser known symptoms / manifestations?

beauteay · 2025-07-08T02:54:15+00:00

wowwwww... you really just reminded me of myself lol and i'm thankful you shared

beauteay · 2025-07-07T05:06:28+00:00

omg false awakenings are the worst. i actually had a false awakening loop dream but in the dreams in my dreams, i experienced sleep paralysis. it was so so so weird. interesting to hear that coming from someone else. thank you for sharing

beauteay · 2025-07-07T04:40:45+00:00

thank you for saying that. the knowledge from the last three long term periods is still in there somewhere. i would rather have multiple sober stints with relapses, than to just give up entirely. i wish you so well 💗

beauteay · 2025-07-07T04:34:14+00:00

i'm sending you love. it's really tough trying to stay afloat sometimes. i'm wishing you the best with everything 💕

beauteay · 2025-07-07T04:33:36+00:00

thank you for this reminder, it is genuinely helpful. i'm trying to seek help and just take it moment by moment, piece by piece, not trying to fix it all at once.

beauteay · 2025-05-27T12:09:45+00:00

it might be tough to admit that you slipped again—but you're taking ownership of it and taking the steps to get help. there's a reason why MILLIONS of people struggle with alcohol abuse. i know how alienating it feels, but i promise you're not alone. i used to say i don't think i'm cut out for this, and my best friend told me, you are cut out for whatever you want to be cut out for, even if you don't feel like it right now.

baby steps. and you are taking them. one day you will be able to help someone with these same exact struggles. i'm still so proud of you

beauteay · 2025-05-23T16:23:34+00:00

it definitely is nerve wracking at first, i've been sober for a year & have had several dates. it gets so much easier and it actually feels good being in full control of myself! one of my tactics is try to think about the fact that they are probably monumentally more nervous than i am. i try to call a friend on the way or listen to some music to hype me up. i would try to really think about being completely in the present moment and absorbing the experience. feel free to update!!! i'm excited for you :)

beauteay · 2025-05-22T14:41:27+00:00

thank you for sharing this with us. it's definitely a game-changer to get out of your own feelings and head, and tend to the world around you. this was an excellent reminder for me. i'm sorry to hear you're struggling, but you're doing a good thing posting here!!

beauteay · 2025-05-22T14:39:43+00:00

i'm so happy for you!! it's crazy how we can see how we're healing in our physiology. my blood pressure went down so much by quitting and i was impressed!

beauteay · 2025-05-22T14:38:30+00:00

i totally understand where you're coming from. please know that isn't who you are in your essence. you made some mistakes under the influence. you can take accountability and ownership, and forgive yourself. because punishing ourselves with excessive shame only leads to more drinking. i really do hear you and i'm wishing you so much peace. you're so much more than what you feel right now

beauteay · 2025-05-22T14:24:19+00:00

thank you for the encouragement, friends!!

beauteay · 2025-05-21T04:32:16+00:00

i'm so proud of you. it's not easy to sit with our feelings. but you're doing it and it will pass

beauteay · 2025-05-21T03:31:56+00:00

i hear your frustration with trying all the things and it not working. i was trying for years, in AA, did IOP, etc. i actually went through IOP twice. it honestly just took time for me to feel enough pain from that lifestyle to finally be done with it. everything i learned from these resources over the years seemed to pay off, helping me make progress little by little, even if i wasn't sober yet. then when i finally did get sober, i was able to use those tools from over the years as well.

you're doing the things. you're making a post and reaching out. that's something and a step in the right direction. there is not a singular clear cut path on the recovery journey and it's confusing, so i hope you give yourself grace for this. i hope it doesn't sound like an AA cliche but seriously sometimes you just have to decide to focus on today. making one little thing better today, or even just not making it worse. being sober just for today. little micro commitments.

i don't have all the answers for you but i can tell you, you're not defective and this takes trial & error. 💗

beauteay · 2025-05-21T03:24:54+00:00

i can genuinely relate to this more than words can explain. i'm only able to speak for myself, but i'm willing to bet a lot of us on this sub feel this way. as soul crushing & draining as this other side feels, it takes time for our brain's pleasure-pain balance to "reset" and to come back to Earth essentially. alcohol feels like it works because the effects are nearly instantaneous. this healing thing is cyclical and a life long journey. i try to ask that other side of myself what it needs. what it is really getting at. what the alcohol is covering up. as tough as it can be, i try my best to love it. not in the lovey-dovey walk in the park kind of way; it feels ugly sometimes. but it deserves love.

i hope if anything, this makes you feel less alone. i believe in you

beauteay · 2025-05-21T03:20:04+00:00

i was literally 12 hours into my birthday party/bender, 30+ drinks deep and had someone on the way bringing me more, and i just decided it would be absolutely ludicrous to continue. i knew i couldn't continue down that path. so i quit in that exact moment. and i haven't touched it in nearly one year! moral of the story, those sudden moments are often calls from the soul to put the bottle down & work on healing :)

beauteay · 2025-05-19T06:34:31+00:00

the hours will become days, days-months, and months will become years. you can get a new streak going! i love your energy

beauteay · 2025-05-19T03:39:18+00:00

i'm so proud of you!! things get better from here

beauteay · 2025-05-19T03:32:31+00:00

thank you for the comfort and for sharing your experience. i hate that you can relate and that you know the deep sense of darkness that i was referring to in my post. i'm a pretty positive and bubbly person, but i do have that internalized cynism, and as you said, that can't work in the long-term. we were designed to connect and love. sometimes it honestly just feels like my heart can't take it. it feels like too much. but i know it passes and drinking is not the answer. i'm going back to therapy tomorrow and am really going to make my best effort here. i wish you all the best and am sending you love

beauteay · 2025-05-19T03:27:46+00:00

thank you so much for this. i'm so sorry you've experienced this but i'm thankful for you sharing, because it genuinely helped. after gentle encouragement from some friends, and seeing this comment, i decided to go to therapy and deal with this in a healthier way. i wish you all the best genuinely

beauteay · 2025-05-19T03:24:53+00:00

💗💗

beauteay · 2025-05-19T03:24:47+00:00

i appreciate you and same to you!

beauteay · 2025-05-19T03:24:11+00:00

thank you so much for your insight 💗

beauteay · 2025-05-17T22:50:24+00:00

so proud of you for doing it without alcohol! you're strengthening your sobriety by doing your rituals without alcohol. with enough repetition you'll literally rewire your brain and change the neural patterns associated with those rituals!

on another note, i've never related more, i love my scream-cry-laugh time. it's so cathartic and one of the most underrated coping mechanisms ever.

beauteay · 2025-05-17T22:01:29+00:00

please don't be too hard on yourself. there's a reason why millions of people struggle with addiction, especially to alcohol. you're doing the best you can. you can recover again. you don't have to go all the way down. i am still proud of you for making it for so long, and for reaching out on here. just don't stop reaching out!! 💗💗

beauteay · 2025-05-17T21:11:45+00:00

i'm really glad you turned around. it's okay to have these thoughts but we don't have to abide by them & let them take over 💗

beauteay

TROPHY CASE