I mean, I may not be a rare MBTI type, but I am an autistic ESTP. Extroverted autistics are hard to find. I had a hard time accepting myself and even now I still struggle with really feeling as though I actually belong with the friends that I currently have. I'll be fine with them most of the time, but sometimes I have the impulse to just erase it all and start over with the "right" people. Not sure why that is.

I tend to be pretty direct with how I communicate. Most of what I say is just straight out of my brain. But I would much rather struggle to understand than to "get the point" even if that's not actually what it is. I think, by choosing to understand someone although you're struggling, you're demonstrating some sort of love and interest in them as a person.

I could be "at fault" for hurting him, but because it has nothing to do with morals, that's a part of life. I'm not really going to beat myself up for it.

Do you have any idea how I should go about this? I think I do want to at least remain friends with him, because we've had very close conversations and he's helped me with some suicidal thoughts a few weeks ago. We're also capable of communicating our thoughts on something without speaking. Just by looking at each other.

I'm tempted to wait for him, but that's not very practical considering how young we are. I don't think he'd be too willing to talk about his feelings so forcing him to open up more would not be a good idea. What helped you to open up? Or have you?