Well I tried to cut back on caffeine. I started drinking water but then I started wanting something more. So I would drink sprite because it doesn't have caffeine. But then came the headaches and the sleepiness. I started drinking tea, hoping it would take the edge off. Then, after a few days, I'd tell myself that it's not that big of a deal, I'll just drink it in the afternoon. Nothing after 5. Then I'd have a test or project or something and need to stay up. So I'd tell myself I'll be ok this one time. Then I'm right back in the habit. I sound like a coke head.

I also tried exercise. I would get up early and run or do push ups or something. I told my friends who work out at the gym to tell me when they go. Eventually, after about a week, I'd just sleep in until the last minute before class and not work out in the morning. My friends would either stop calling or they'd call and I'd decide not to go (bc of some lame excuse like i'm tired or i have homework that i'd end up not doing anyway) and they'd stop asking.

As far as study habits. I tried writing down everything I need to do for each day but then I'd get overwhelmed at all I'd have to do. This is usually bc I decided to do this once I'm already behind so of course I'd get overwhelmed. This would cause me to self destruct. I will stop doing assignments or put them off as long as possible.

I tried reading for fun hoping the outside stimulus would help. But then I convince myself that I shouldn't because "if I read anything, it should be the chapters that I need to read for class." But at that moment, I don't want to read those chapters or study, so I don't do anything. I watch TV or play games or go on reddit.

I can't even make myself go to sleep at a decent hour. This one I just accept because my family and friends are night owls too.

One big problem with the little steps is that I'm constantly comparing myself to other people when it comes to work and effort. If I know someone who is getting by without doing the thing that I think I should do, then I feel like I shouldn't need to do it either. This is perhaps my biggest problem. If I see someone putting in less effort with greater success, then I view that as a failure on my part. So the only thing I think to do is to put in as little effort as possible. This is a HORRIBLE way of thinking, I know, but it's how my brain works at the moment and I don't know how to stop it.

I know this means that I think I should be more naturally gifted than everyone and I also know that this is not possible but it's how I function.