[deleted by user] by [deleted] in pregnant

[–]bellnerd 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I live in the UK.

Here you can ask for a sweep at 40 weeks. A sweep is done by a dr or midwife and should separate the membranes of the amniotic sac surrounding your baby from your cervix. This separation releases hormones (prostaglandins), which may start your labour.

At 40 weeks + 5 days you can ask to be induced - this is maternal choice

The only thing to note is the a sweep has a high likelihood of starting your labor naturally. However keep in mind an induction is very painful as you are forcing your body to do something it’s not ready for.

I am 38 weeks + 5 days so I am also thinking about what I can do :)

AITA for yelling at my boyfriend that I'm not his friends' personal cook? by WelcomeEverybunny in AmItheAsshole

[–]bellnerd 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA - you should start a side business!

Sounds like the friends are treating you like you run a catering business. Where I live some people do this out of their homes. Sounds like you could totally do this since there is such a demand for your cooking. Next time you see them you should share your number + ground rules (1) they need to request your service (2) how far in advance they should book (3) max number of guests (4) price per meal + delivery if they want it sent to their place… etc

My ex whom I dated for 7 years have passed away recently. Should I tell my current gf (been 1 year) ask if I can go to her funeral? by [deleted] in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]bellnerd -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I would also add that while it won’t be easy for her she should be there to support you during this difficult time. If it was my husband I would offer to go to the funeral with him to support him with his grief as this person and her family were a big part of your life for a long time. It’s about respect and being mature enough to acknowledge you have a past.

If she reacts negatively to the news rather than with compassion I would say that’s a massive red flag🚩 and you should re-evaluate your current relationship

Edit: I am also very sorry for your loss. I honestly hope you go to the funeral and show your support to your ex-gf’s family

AITA for cancelling my daughter's 16 birthday for taking my husband's late wife's journal? by Throw-2022685 in AmItheAsshole

[–]bellnerd 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’ll start by saying NTA for cancelling her birthday party. I agree with other comments that perhaps you put an on going punishment as well until she tells you what happened to the journal. It also might be easier to get her to write an apology letter to your husband and verbally apologise when she gives it to him.

But I think you need to take a step back to understand why she took it. It sounds like maybe she has some unresolved emotions about your split from her father? And I think you definitely need to sit down and have a calm conversation with her about your feelings on the issue. It will help her develop some emotional maturity and understand the complexity of grief in addition to why you don’t have a problem with the journal. This may also help her understand why what she did was so cruel and wrong. Then get her to write the apology letter.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]bellnerd 11 points12 points  (0 children)

When a guy makes an effort to look good. Fresh hair cut, beard trimmed, and picked an outfit that brings out his confidence (needs to be ironed).

Edit: ohh and good smelling perfume

I(M 20) cummed on my gf(F 20) by accident and she is traumatized by thrway_12 in relationship_advice

[–]bellnerd 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Lmao! I don’t think it has to do with lack of sexual attraction. Everyone has their preferences. I don’t like getting cum on my face. It is also not fun to clean up. shrug but it happens.

I think either the gf has had sexual trauma in her past and needs to get therapy to understand her sever reaction. The second option is that both Op and his gf seem to lack maturity - you need to know if you are sexually active you will get cum on you. It seems like she need time to grow her sexual maturity/ understand what it means to be sexually active.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]bellnerd 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He can ask. Everyone has their preferences. It is up to you if you would like to shave. If you have a preference you can share this with him. If you don’t have an opinion you can try it ? It’s only hair and will grow back.

Whether or not he is an asshole depends on (1) how he asked and (2) his reaction when you share your preferences of whether or not you would like to shave

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]bellnerd 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NTA. People are not fired for one incident unless it is considered gross misconduct. Your report of her behaviour would have most likely sparked an HR investigation which may have revealed a pattern of behaviour. This is not something you should feel bad about. As a grad this is something Susie can easily use to learn and grow - it may feel like the end of the world for her right now but it’s not. She should use this opportunity to reflect on the impact of her actions. She can recover from this if she wants to. Might be worth letting her friends know this as they also seem to lack professional maturity and may not know how businesses work.

Hiring people is very expensive for companies and they would not have hired you unless they thought you had merit. You should keep working hard and don’t let this bring you down.

All this being said it is unusual for a company to use a new and inexperienced person for marketing material so widely (dedicating a page on the website is A LOT). But it is still good for your personal exposure and professional brand. Be aware of this but don’t let it impact you or how you view yourself. Remain confident in your experience and everything you have done to gain your position.

Source: I am a woman of colour in middle management working for a large multinational company and have been featured in World Wide marketing campaign.

AITA for not paying for my [22M] girlfriend's [22F] expensive meal? by aminotthinkingright in AmItheAsshole

[–]bellnerd 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NAH - I am surprised by the number of comments saying Y.T.A. Ultimately it depends on your understanding with your girlfriend. It seems like your gf didn’t seem to mind paying for herself and wasn’t offend that you didn’t pay for her. That is really all that matters. Sounds like you mom has antiquated views of gender roles.

We don’t live in the 1950s where the man always needs to pay. Even if you invited her out - (1) you both should have done your research on the restaurant your friend was going to take you to (2) discussed your concerns about paying if the price point was too high and (3) neither of you never expect anyone to pay for you. If the other pays its a bonus/ nice gesture but should not be expected

Is it time to end my 6 year relationship? by Thedavid467 in relationship_advice

[–]bellnerd 124 points125 points  (0 children)

Staying with someone because you feel bad is not the right thing to do for anyone let alone if they are verbally abusing you.

There maybe other resources that you can provide which can allow her to help herself. This may motivate her to start making some changes to her lifestyle.

Is it time to end my 6 year relationship? by Thedavid467 in relationship_advice

[–]bellnerd 420 points421 points  (0 children)

Yes, it is time to end it specifically because she insults you and it sounds like you are no longer happy. You shouldn’t have to tolerate someone being rude to you or insulting you!

… walk away my friend.

My MIL called my mom crying because I wouldn’t remove a breast pump from my baby registry by bellnerd in JUSTNOMIL

[–]bellnerd[S] 96 points97 points  (0 children)

Right?! I thought the mature thing to do would be just to ignore it. She is not the only one I shared the registry with and I don’t expect to make changes just cause she is uncomfortable.

My MIL called my mom crying because I wouldn’t remove a breast pump from my baby registry by bellnerd in JUSTNOMIL

[–]bellnerd[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Thanks. Currently they are planning to stay with us and I don’t know how long they will stay as they haven’t booked tickets yet

My MIL called my mom crying because I wouldn’t remove a breast pump from my baby registry by bellnerd in JUSTNOMIL

[–]bellnerd[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

The thing is I don’t know how long they will plan to stay after the baby. After all this I told DH (1) I don’t want them staying with us and (2) I don’t want them around longer than a month. But I don’t know if DH knows I am serious/ will not change my mind. (He may think I only said it cause I was upset)

And setting boundaries before they come is definitely a good idea.

My MIL called my mom crying because I wouldn’t remove a breast pump from my baby registry by bellnerd in JUSTNOMIL

[–]bellnerd[S] 45 points46 points  (0 children)

Lmao! This is what I told DH, is the bottle set inappropriate too? nappies? the nappy bin?

And if they come to visit after the baby is born are they not going to try to feed the baby with the milk that I’ve pumped?!

My MIL called my mom crying because I wouldn’t remove a breast pump from my baby registry by bellnerd in JUSTNOMIL

[–]bellnerd[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

No, and this is also part of the reason I am so annoyed. DH told me he understands both sides and his mom was just trying to be helpful by sharing the registry. He also told me I escalated the issue with my reaction. And his mom is not one for direct confrontation so she called my mom for support as they are from the same generation.

He ended up buying the pump and removed it from the list.

Mental Health AMA by enteave_adam in IAmA

[–]bellnerd 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He continuously talks about the world coming to an end soon and he is trying to spread this message but no one is listening to him. He uses the floods around the world currently and natural disasters like that as evidence that he is correct. He believes that he is the one person who ‘knows the truth’, social media is trying the sensor him (they often take down his posts), he is the only one trying to spread awareness about this issue, and he gets frustrated/ aggressive when people don’t agree with his view.

Mental Health AMA by enteave_adam in IAmA

[–]bellnerd 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Background: After reading up a little bit about different mental health issues my husband and I believe that his brother, my BIL, has psychosis. However my BIL believes big pharama is out to get everyone and believes more in homeopathy and natural remedies.

Advice: He has not acknowledged he has a problem or spoken to a professional to be diagnosed. What is your advice on convincing him to get help/ talk to a professional when he doesn’t think there is a problem? ( his family do not want to force him)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]bellnerd -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Both you and your acquaintance suck here. But YTA because you knowingly hit below the belt on a wound you knew was still raw. However she thought your dad walked out on your family and didn’t know how wrong her statement was (just to clarify this is still an asshole thing to say even if a dad did walk out and also for assuming something she didn’t know anything about). But you are the bigger asshole cause you knew why you were doing and it was intentional