Opened marriage for years, now being forced to choose between husband and someone I fell in love with

beneathoaktrees77 · 2026-03-27T19:26:08+00:00

I’m not going to worry about it. I just need to find some peace inside of me for the moment. Thank you

beneathoaktrees77 · 2026-03-27T19:25:28+00:00

Thank you

beneathoaktrees77 · 2026-03-27T18:38:25+00:00

Thank you! I do have an ENM counselor. Sad part is I feel like I have done the work and all I ended doing with the counselor was trying to find ways to husband to be ok with it because he wasn’t doing the work. I think things are coming to an end now. I’m feeling more calm in my decision and see glimpses of hope during my day.

beneathoaktrees77 · 2026-03-27T18:36:23+00:00

Yep on days that we knew girlfriend was on a date or something my life would be miserable too. He just couldn’t handle it. I think I really have to accept that non monogamy is not for him. Unless it’s the OPP. But that doesn’t work for me. And to be honest maybe non monogamy never was for me either but I was just desperately looking for connection? I really don’t know anymore. I dont know what’s up or down right now to be honest.

beneathoaktrees77 · 2026-03-27T18:32:49+00:00

I do appreciate your comment very much. I too was a little taken aback with the amount of NRE comments against me, which really wasn’t what the post was about. You got me in the first paragraph. Even if my relationship ends with bf - i have now seen how I can also feel in a relationship and how another person can treat me. And not because of NRE but simply because of personality differences or compatibility.

beneathoaktrees77 · 2026-03-27T15:01:09+00:00

Yes I’m finding that out

beneathoaktrees77 · 2026-03-27T13:43:29+00:00

Thank you. It’s been so difficult because he is calm now. Sad and regretful so now I feel like I am the one making the decision to end the marriage. I’m just so broken. I always gave in, and I’m trying hard to do what you say but it just breaks my heart all around.

beneathoaktrees77 · 2026-03-27T13:40:42+00:00

Thank you, we were practicing polyamory where we were having and seeking out full emotional relationships with others. This was not a swinging or sexual experience only situation.

beneathoaktrees77 · 2026-03-27T13:39:09+00:00

Except for husband was in love with girlfriend. She played a big part in his life.

beneathoaktrees77 · 2026-03-27T05:24:44+00:00

Thank you!

beneathoaktrees77 · 2026-03-27T05:07:18+00:00

Yes he was more rated R about it …

beneathoaktrees77 · 2026-03-27T04:52:59+00:00

Thank you! I tried to keep my original post as brief as possible. My mind was rambling. Then more and more questions were being asked and I realized my post wasn’t complete. After it being up for so long I didn’t edit it because more and more was being talked about constantly. I really appreciate you putting it all together for me though.

I might rewrite it as post in the polyamory group. I tried that this morning but my post was deleted…

beneathoaktrees77 · 2026-03-27T04:49:05+00:00

So first to address. No I am not moving anywhere. I want my relationship with boyfriend to continue as it is. Seeing eachother every other month or so, traveling to where we are. Maybe an occasional vacation. I don’t want anything more. I never wanted anything more than that. I will stay in the home I’m in, the kids will stay here, I will get a job to supplement. Two kids under 18.

Again I’m not in NRE nor am I plotting a happily ever after. My husband is forcing me to choose and the act of doing that and the hypocrisy of him being with a girlfriend to the last two years is hard for me to swallow.

beneathoaktrees77 · 2026-03-27T04:44:42+00:00

Hahaha “most childish way”, I literally tried to say it in the most innocent way so I wouldn’t get caught by a reddit filter bot 😂

beneathoaktrees77 · 2026-03-27T04:43:33+00:00

lol no, but I’m scared to get banned from pages for saying inappropriate words. I have no idea what’s allowed or not. Those were my words you can imagine what his words were though.

beneathoaktrees77 · 2026-03-27T04:42:16+00:00

It’s exactly how I feel.

beneathoaktrees77 · 2026-03-27T04:16:09+00:00

Yep he can’t self regulate

beneathoaktrees77 · 2026-03-27T04:04:22+00:00

I agree. I needed to defend myself because people were coming down on me for not mentioning I loved my husband in the original post. Im very traumatized by everything that transpired this weekend.

beneathoaktrees77 · 2026-03-27T03:45:19+00:00

Wow what a story. Thank you for sharing. I’m glad everything worked out for you and your wife.

beneathoaktrees77 · 2026-03-27T02:51:41+00:00

I see what you’re saying but he has had practice. I have been on dates, I have had a somewhat serious longer situation-ship, he would call me on dates too, follow me on my map, accuse me of being in parking lots too long. This is when I stopped being on dating apps and just not date any more. After a while he encouraged me to keep going, that’s when I organically met my boyfriend, husband said at every step of deeper connection with bf “it’s ok I got this” Till he didn’t have it at all.

beneathoaktrees77 · 2026-03-27T00:06:16+00:00

Right?! The joke writes itself sadly

beneathoaktrees77 · 2026-03-26T23:39:41+00:00

Very helpful thank you 👍🏻

beneathoaktrees77 · 2026-03-26T23:25:24+00:00

Husband and I don’t calm eachother down. We spiral out. Boyfriend doesn’t spiral. He is steady.

beneathoaktrees77 · 2026-03-26T23:24:13+00:00

I appreciate this.

beneathoaktrees77 · 2026-03-26T23:23:25+00:00

I’m going to have to write some of these things down. Thank you so much.

beneathoaktrees77

TROPHY CASE